Thursday, November 25, 2010

Dumb Fuck Behind The Wheel

Okay I'm fucking pissed. Tonight I was watching the news, they were covering the recent dump of snow we just had, which by the way is pretty minimal yet the city was in shut down mode. Seriously 15 mm or about an inch and half of snow and buses shut down for the morning, schools were closed, the international airport had major delays, and even one of the sky trains had to stop for a few hours because there was too much ice and nobody seemed to know how to remove it.........BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I'M PISSED. Frankly I found all of that rather funny given that most of Canada has between 4 to 6 months of retarded fucking cold winters that make you pray for global warming.

What really pissed me the fuck off was this one story about this ass clown over on Vancouver island. Some 20 year old shit smear decided it would be a great idea even though the roads were icy and shit to do about 205 km/h that's almost double the speed limit on the island highway in good weather. And his excuse.....because he wanted to beat the oncoming snow.....WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT. The police couldn't even pursue this guy because the road conditions were too crappy for them and it would put the public in more danger, so they had to set up a road block to stop the guy. But you know what part of this really got on my nerves, it was the fact that this guy basically got a slap on the wrist. His punishment for putting dozens of peoples lives in danger was a $468 dollar fine, and the car he was driving WHICH WASN'T EVEN HIS was impounded for 7 days. Now they might be able in court to have the car removed from the owner and sold at an auction for charity but still what a load of shit.

If I gave some fucking psycho a gun and a handful of bullets and that fucker went on a shooting spree and killed some people I would go to jail for helping him. Sure I didn't actually kill anyone and wasn't there, but it would still be my gun. So why the fuck is this any different? Thankfully he didn't kill anyone but he could have very easily, and on that same highway 10 minutes after he was caught another car which was very similar even in color hit a logging truck and two people died, and they were obeying the speed limit. And yet this shit head walks away with a small fine.

If he had killed someone I guarantee you he wouldn't have been charged with murder, the ass clown who lent him the car who is probably as big of a fucking douche bag as the driver is would probably receive no punishment either. Personally I think both of these idiots should be dragged through the streets and beaten until some fucking sense is in them, and given that assholes actions, that could be a long fucking time.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Ivanka Trump

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Saturday, November 20, 2010

When The Snow Falls The Bitches Will Whine

Last night we had our first snowfall, a whole two maybe three centimeters. How big is that, well it takes 2.5 centimeters to make an inch so three of these is about an inch and a half....and who says you can't learn any useful shit here.

Now even though that snow is melting as I type this out, people out here are acting like it's a fucking Arctic tundra. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I understand there are those who live here who have come from warmer parts of the planet where the only snow they get is in their freezer, so they get a pass from my wraith, but to the locals either born here or from Canada WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT? Seriously they call the Canada the "Great White North" for a fucking reason, because a lot of the time our winters suck big floppy donkey dick. At this time of year a good deal of the country gets a good dumping of snow and cold temperatures, how cold well if you live in the prairies like I did for ten years it can drop from -25 to -45 before windchill (that's in Celsius) That's not always the case but it does happen. Fuck I've even seen warnings on the news telling us exposed skin would freeze in two to three minutes.

That's not the case here in Vancouver or the surrounding lower mainland, here it's pretty much green all year round, I've even seen fuckers mow the grass a week before Christmas. But yet now that there is a dusting of snow fuckers are all huddled up in thick parkas, gloves and acting like little wimpy bitches. For fucks sake fuckers there are still fuckers fucking running around in their fucking running shorts and you fucks are fucking acting all fucking wimpy SUCK IT THE FUCK UP PRINCESSES........fuck.

But seriously people it's not that cold outside, you don't need a parka, you don't need that thick scarf wrapped around you're face like you're a ninja (ninjas are cool by the way) and you don't need massive winter boots like you're exploring the Arctic circle looking for Yeti. Anything more then a light jacket or a fleece pullover and you're just being a sissy bitch, and really we have enough sissy bitches out there so grow a fucking set of nuts would ya.

On a completely different note I want to thank Gnetch for bestowing me with the Chupacabra Award of Excellence (or however the fuck it's spelt) award. Go check her blog out ................ NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!http://thankgoodnessforthegoodones.blogspot.com/.


That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

Padma Lakshmi

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Grocery Store Nightmare

I FUCKING HATE SHOPPING. Yeah I said it I fucking hate it, I can't stand the lines, the screaming out of control kids and their vacant starring parents who are off in la la land. The aggressive little ole grannies who ran their carts into you're shins because they are in dire need of that TV dinner before Matlock comes on.......THE FUCKING SHOW HAS BEEN IN SYNDICATION FOR OVER A DECADE YOU OLD BITCH I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MISS MUCH. Besides you'll probably just forget about it in five minutes anyway.
 
Now you may notice I'm a little more angry and bitter then usual in this post compared to my usual self, and that's because an image was burned into my soul today while grocery shopping at the nearest Safeway. An image of horror AND I'VE SEEN SOME SCARY ASS SHIT IN MY LIFE THUS FAR. Apart from the usual ass wranglers who I have to deal with when I go grocery shopping was this one fucker who was in front of me while I was in line to pay for my groceries that I spent forever trying to find because I didn't have the slightest fucking clue as to where anything was.

That image was of this old fucker in skin tight super short daisy duke shorts THAT WERE FUCKING WHITE, white like a damn 81 Trans Am rockin out to White Snake kinda white. Now I do not, I repeat DO NOT give a shit how fucking fabulous you're legs might be.............DUDES DO NOT WEAR TIGHT DENIM SHORTS. Oh and they do not bend over and expose their hairy ass crack to me while picking up change, the least you could have done you asshole is walk away........just walk away. The only dudes that wear these kind of shorts are usually out trolling for trouser snake and this dude was straight, why because his wife was right in front of him helping him unload the cart.

Now maybe this guy like many are caught in a time warp, perhaps his tiny little brain can't fathom the fact that it is not the year 1984 and that the Dukes of Hazzard isn't the number one TV show (though it's way fucking better then the garbage they call TV these days with all the reality shit) But even if he is WHERE THE FUCK IS HIS WIFE TO SLAP SOME SENSE INTO THIS FUCKER, is she challenged too? Was she drunk? Is she into that sort of shit? If that's the case, keep it in the bedroom you wrinkly fucks.

I do not need to see this shit, I have enough nightmares as it is, so please for the love of whatever god you believe in DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE UNLESS YOU'RE DRESSED NORMALLY. If I see another fucking dude in white daisy dukes I will stop what I'm doing no matter what it is, walk over and skull fuck you with some sort of blunt object......perhaps a spoon because it hurts more.

Now please excuse me while I crawl under my desk and cry.

Random Hottie Of This Post


Alyson Hannigan

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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Terminator Drop The Bombshell


Time once again for a brand new video. This one is my latest tribute video to one of my favorite series of movies The Terminator. There's something about killer robots run amok hell bent on destroying humanity after they nuke the shit out of us with our own nukes that just feels so right.

For this video I wanted to try something a little different from my last video ( Zombie Strippers ) I wanted to do something a lot faster and more chaotic. Anyways I hope you enjoy the video, and let me know what you think of it.



Random Hottie Of This Post

Femke Janssen

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Word Mashing

It seems like everything is speeding up, I dunno perhaps it's old age setting in for me and I'm too fucking slow to keep up ( I did notice some of the hair on my chin is now grey.....on my chin of all places what the fuck is this mickey mouse shit? )  Anyways because things seem to be speeding up the attention spans of people are getting shorter. So short in fact that I've noticed more and more that people are combining words to form new ones to save that whole precious millisecond of time that they could have used for something else. Perhaps they want to squeeze an extra little sip of whatever the fuck it is their drinking, or perhaps they noticed some hot girl across the room with big boobies and they want that extra millisecond to undress them with their eyes ( can't say I blame them for that one )

So I thought I'd share some of these mash up's that I've heard around here, starting with the annoying ones

1. Chillax (chill + relax)

Easily one of the most irritating things a human being can say to another human or human like being. Seriously it sounds like some kind of medication to relieve constipation. "Here Timmy take some Chillax and you'll be shitting buckets in an hour". Chillax may relieve constipation in only some patients. Side effects may include dizziness, dry mouth, ulcers, burning pee, brain damage, cancer, zombies, ass hair, and the urge to act like a complete fucking ass clown. Consult you're family doctor or the guy selling it illegally from a van before using it. If some ass nugget tells me to chillax I will punch them in the eye.

2. Swhore (slut + whore)

Really it's not bad enough to call someone either one of these terms but you have to combine them. True you get points for using you're imagination, but for fucks sake this one just sounds stupid.

3. Swass (sweaty + ass)

Okay this one could serve a practical purpose. Say if you will that you're at a fine dining establishment and you don't want to announce to the world that you're ass is sweaty.......I mean nobody likes a sweaty ass after all. Plus using swass has a semi sophisticated manner to it, by sophisticated I mean it's like changing the channel from Jerry Springer to Maury Povich for one of his "You're not the father" episodes. You know the one where someone who slept with an entire football team is accusing one guy of being the dad. And the DNA results are in and YOU'RE NOT THE FATHER. At which point the guy does a touch down dance and shouts " I told you so " while the woman starts crying...........yeah isn't T.V great.

4. Radtastic (radical + fantastic)

Does anyone actually use this one anymore who isn't stuck in 1994?

5. Refuckulate (recalculate + fuck)

I love this word even though it's technically not a word........YET. Frankly it should be, and whatever cock knockers over at Webster's dictionary disagree with me seriously need to refuckulate their way of thinking. I even love how this word rolls off the tongue like a fine French wine outside of Paris.

That's all for now anymore and it would be considered effort

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Liu
Yeah I know she was the random hottie of the last post, but c,mon it's Lucy Fucking Liu. Not to mention she's in tight tight leather, heels and firing a flamethrower. Do I really need to explain why this picture is here?

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By the way check out this persons Youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/6castor6 they have some really good videos there.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Hello Kitty Bitches

I have a confession....I'm all for the Asian persuasion. I don't know what it is, perhaps it started when I saw my first movie that had Lucy Liu in it (I think it was City of Industry and she had a small part as a stripper) Or in high school with all the hot Asian girls walking around doing their thing. Either way and ever since I have been hooked (Fuck even my ex wife is Chinese).

But there is one group of Asian women that really piss me the fuck off and that's HELLO KITTY BITCHES. Now what's a hello kitty bitch you ask? The term comes from my ex and is defined a little something like this.

Hello Kitty Bitch:

A bitch who happens to be Asian, who dresses like she's Sailor Fucking Moon. Who giggles like a 12 year old who's between 18 and 45, can't give you a straight answer, and in general appears to a be a brain dead annoying, immature, and in general someone you won't think twice about hitting with a car.

Now I totally understand there are cultural differences between North America and it's Pacific Rim neighbours, and being in a city that has a very large Asian population I see this everyday (They don't call Vancouver Hongcouver for nothing fuckers) But fuck these bitches are annoying as fucking hell. Is it so fucking hard to act you're age and not you're shoe size? Is it so fucking hard to look me in the eye if I ask you a simple fucking question without giggling like a fucking raging moron? Can you not engage others in a meaningful conversation and SPEAK YOU'RE FUCKING OPINION without this beat around the bush bullshit? And can you not huddle in the middle of the fucking way while giggling like said raging fucking moron when others are trying to get around you............and don't give me this shit that you didn't see those people trying to walk around you're vacant starring asses.

My tolerance for stupid annoying fucktards is reaching record lows here people, and what makes it worse is that their Asian and on average attractive, it's like a catch 22 here. FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK............now I'm sad :(

 My head hurts and I need to poop

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Liu
(Who else was I going to pick your mom?)

And if that picture wasn't enough for you

Sunday, November 14, 2010

You Might Be A Douche Bag If.......

Douche bags, these fuckers are everywhere. From the grocery store to that run down adult video store where Carlos sells crack beside the dumpster in the alley (Carlos wanted me to tell you that on Tuesdays if you spend 100 dollars you get a 10 dollar gift coupon) Some of these fucking douche bags don't even realize that they are douche bags, and that is truly scary. So I thought I would put together a list of tell tale signs that either someone you know is a douche bag. Remember there is no cure for being a douche bag other then a swift back handed bitch slap (Repeat twice a day or as many times as required. You can also hit them in the face with a dirty sock full of pennies)

The Urban Dictionary defines a douche bag as :

Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker.

An example would be :

Rob:He kept hitting on my girlfriend at the party, he just wouldn't leave her alone!!



Sam: God, what a douche bag
 
Here are some of the signs :
 
If you think yelling above everyone else about how much money you have, or that you just made some big fucking financial deal makes you look like an all star YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're walking down the street and think it would be the fucking greatest idea in the worked to hork up snot and spit it on the ground right in front of someone YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you go into a building and instead of holding the door open for the person behind you FOR A WHOLE TWO FUCKING SECONDS, but instead let it slam in their face YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG COCK JAWS.

If you're one of those tweeny teenage fuck sticks who insist on giggling, throwing popcorn or in general being a loud mouthed little shit smear when people who used their own money NOT MOMMY AND DADDY'S to pay to watch that movie YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're too fucking lazy to use a turn signal but instead just cut everyone off and then wonder why somebody is flipping you off YOU ARE A STUPID DOUCHE BAG.

If you think it's a great idea to get drunk at you're buddies place and try to grab everyone's wife and girlfriends ass, you not only deserve a severe ass kicking YOU ARE ALSO A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're one of those lazy little shits who can't be bothered to pick up after you're dog who just left a nice fresh steamer in the middle of the sidewalk YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who never shuts up about themselves and thinks their the greatest human being in the entire history of the fucking universe YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who fucks another person in the ass and doesn't have the God damn common courtesy to give them a reach around YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who owns a monster sized fucking Doge Hemi quad cab, extra long box, no muffler, flames shooting off the side, sticker of Kalvin pissing on a Ford logo, and plastic balls dangling from the rear axle of you're truck to make up for you're shortfalls. And you drive that monster sized Doge Hemi like a fucking moron, and act like the road is you're personal fucking race track, and have no fucking respect for the thousands of other drivers, pedestrians, or anyone else on or near the road YUP YOU GUESSED IT YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.

 If you're one of those educated fucks who think that because you went to some fancy ass school that you're automatically better then anyone YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're from Toronto and not only think it's the center of the universe but think their hockey team the Toronto Maple Leafs are the greatest hockey team in the fucking universe FUCK I HATE YOU AND YES YOU ARE INDEED A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're too fucking lazy to get off your ass and make that sandwich you're fat ass is craving, but instead yell at you're significant other to make it for you YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

And last but not least :

If you are a puke piece of dog shit who insists on being as rude as humanly possible to others because you're life is a sad never ending misery parade and you secretly pray each day for death YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

Hope that clarified it for you, now you to can spot a douche bag.

Random Hottie Of This Post


Natalie Dormer


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Sunday, November 7, 2010

Did I Hassle The Hoff ???????????

I've mentioned this a post or two ago that my videos recently have all been banned in Germany. Ever since I started using Adobe instead of Windows movie maker all but one video has been completely banned in the Fatherland, for this I can only think of one logical reason.........I PISSED OFF THE HOFF.

To those of you younger ones who have no idea who I speak of I'm talking about David Fucking Hasselhoff, the guy who wore the wrangler jeans and big hair in the original Knight Rider series (The one with the talking car that wasn't Val Kilmer.......what a douche bag.) He was the guy with the hairy chest who was the mans man on Baywatch, the same show that made fellow canuck Pamela Hugetits Anderson (The one who sparked the whole celebrity sex tape thing). And in more recent history a former judge of America's Got Talent and has countless video's on YouTube of his drunken ramblings and eating floor burgers......mmmmm floor burger.

So to you Mr. Hasselhoff WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT? I don't get it why the hate? When have I bashed you, I don't think I've ever bashed you? I mean fuck dude I grew up on Knight Rider, and yeah I'll admit I watched the occasional episode of Baywatch......sure it was for the intro to watch the bouncing boobies, but hey what guy didn't get a kick out of that? Is it because you're singing sounds like a cat being raped by a chainsaw.....I can't help that you're music sucks and I think you even know that. I mean fuck I even had family fight for the Germans in World War 2 that shit has to count for something....right?

But I'm not the kind of guy to beg or plead, that's just not what I do, and if that's what you're hoping to hear to lift the ban you can get fucked. You may be " The Hoff " but I will fuck you up faster then a choir boy in prison who dropped the soap in the shower and has to run the gauntlet through the Aryan brotherhood. So lighten the fuck up and let the good German folk watch my videos.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Diane Kruger

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And Because it had to be shown.......you know you want to see it.

Zombie Strippers Porn Star Dancing


What do you get when you combine bad acting, the guy who played Freddy Kruger, a porn star, and the walking dead. Well you get one of the cheesiest zombie movies of all time, I movie so bad it's actually pretty fucking good. Yes I'm talking about Zombie Strippers which is what my latest video is to. I wanted to do something a little more twisted and funny for this video.

And yet again for reasons I don't get this video like my last one is currently banned in Germany, I swear The Hoff must be really pissed at me, I'm not exactly sure what I did to piss him off? Perhaps I should have responded quicker to the birthday card, maybe I should have accepted that cheese platter he wanted to give me, either way I don't get it. But getting back on topic I hope you enjoy the video and let me know what you think of it.



Random Hottie Of This Post
Jenna Jameson

Friday, November 5, 2010

Fuck You Friday And A New Award

Before I start this week's FUCK YOU FRIDAY I want to give a special shout out to Kelly and his blog Psycho Carnival for giving me the Lol Award, check out his blog if you're into funny twisted shit. If you're into lawn bowling or perhaps garden gnomes then this is not for you and you should promptly seek out someone to bitch slap you in the face until their hand hurts. Also being in the spirit of sharing I wanted to pass this nifty little nugget of an award to two blogs that I think are funnier then a moose dry humping a tourist, they are

Max Evel and his Underworld blog and the Dutchess of Dorkville and her drunken bathtub antics.

Now with all that taken care of here are my fuck yous for this week..........enjoy.

FUCK YOU to the asshole in the black BMW who almost ran me over AGAIN at the intersection of West Georgia and Denman Street. Really you can't drive without trying to send a fucking text message at the same time? And what the hell is with you turds in you're black BMW sports cars driving like giant douche bags....can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on, because it seems that every other day some ass clown in one of these cars wants to turn my ass into a hood ornament.

FUCK YOU to the senile old fucker who stopped in the middle of the parking lot and stared out into the great beyond while me and at least a half other people were either trying to enter or leave that parking lot. Stare all you want asshole you're not going to understand the universe any more then the rest of the talking fucking chimps on this little planet. How about you do us all a giant fucking favour AND PARK YOU'RE FUCKING CAR.

FUCK YOU to the greasy homeless hippie motherfucker who thought I was his personnel ATM. Really you looked younger then me, I'm not saying I'm old but fuck dude you're like what 18? First off why the fuck are you begging for change, you're not crippled, strung out on drugs, or have some kind of mental handicap other then being a complete fucking lazy ass. If you need money that fucking bad (which I'm sure you do because you smelt like piss and olives) the McDonald's just down the street is hiring. Who knows maybe you'll be promoted to the guy who operates the soft ice cream machine and you'll get to eat all the expired fish sandwiches. But don't come to me expecting a hand out, the only people I give hand outs to are the veterans selling poppy's for Remembrance day, or the guys with the bells looking for donations for the Salvation Army. And since you're neither of those FUCK OFF.

FUCK YOU to the creepy smelly fucker who ran up wanting to pet my dog. Do you honestly think I'm going to let some guy who smells like he shit himself touch my dog......FUCK THAT. My dog sleeps on my bed asshole and I don't want him to smell you.

FUCK YOU to the wobbly step ladder I was using to clean my windows. It's a long drop down those 12 stories onto the pavement and thanks to you're shitty made in whatever backward butt fuck third world country I dam near kissed that road. On the bright side I have been perfecting my swan dive technique.

FUCK YOU to Gordon Campbell B.C.'s now former premiere. Thank the gods you stepped down you are a joke, oh and thanks for forcing us to now pay the new HST (harmonized sales tax) A tax I might add is not only messed up on paper but has almost zero support from taxpayers, business, and a good deal of those in the government, yet you rammed this shit down our throats. Thank you for continuing the long standing tradition of fucking the province over and making it just that much harder for honest people to live here without having to work two or more jobs, and for making it more undesirable for business to establish themselves here. Awesome job douche bag, I personally love how you are now the most hated Canadian politician since Canada became a country, pat yourself on the back for that one.

FUCK YOU to those little green alien bastards. Why the fuck have you not come down to beam me up to take me to you're home world and declare me you're new leader. Do I have to send you a fucking resume too assholes...........and do you even have email? I mean yeah sure you invented interplanetary space travel, but you don't even have an x-box, I've heard all you have is fucking table tennis and checkers. WHO THE FUCK PLAYS CHECKERS THESE DAYS? 

And that's all I have to say on that.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Gillian Anderson

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Thursday, November 4, 2010

And Now For Something Useful

If you use a wireless router like me it can be a royal pain in the ass when you get a shitty signal. Recently I had to move my computer to another room and now have 4 walls and a bookcase in between me and a decent signal. So I started trying some stuff out to help boost the signal, cause 8 percent to too fucking slow.....were talking watching old people fuck kinda slow, which is extremely painful in case you've never seen this.

Here are a couple videos of some things I've found that ACTUALLY WORK to help boost you're signal and they cost nothing other then some arts and crafts time (don't eat the fucking paste)



Some points I want to make with using a pop or beer can for you're antenna, when I did this I went from 8 to about 20 percent signal strength. Also because my antenna in on a long usb cable I found I got a slightly stronger signal if you put the pop can on it's side facing you're router (about 2 to 4 percent)

This next one is something you can do to you're routers antenna



Using both of these I have a signal strength of just over 50 percent, not as fast as it used to be but still pretty dam fast. This is especially important if you're searching the net looking for midget clown porn.......not that I've ever looked for midget clown porn. Now this might or might not work for you, but if you have a wireless connection hopefully this might help you out if you're connection sucks big floppy donkey dick.

That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

Alyssa Milano

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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What The Fuck Is This Mickey Mouse Shit


A couple of days ago I was watching the news. Over on Vancouver island just outside of Victoria a couple workers clearing brush near the highway discovered a live M-72 rocket launcher. Now I thought the smart thing to do if you find something that could potentially kill you and you know jack shit about how to operate it was to leave it the fuck alone and call someone who does ie the police. Apparently these two didn't get that memo and proceeded to play around with the launcher like a fat and fatter version of Rambo.

Now for you none military types you probably have no clue as to what I'm talking about (aren't you glad I am and I can tell you about all this kind of stuff). An M-72 is a one shot disposable rocket launcher, this means that when these are used in combat the missile is already pre-loaded inside the tube, all you have to do is pull it open to arm, aim and fire..........of course you want to make sure nobody is behind you for about 30 meters or else they get to spend the rest of their days being called BBQ face. You also don't want any large objects such as a car or large rock directly behind you........this can really ruin you're fucking day.

This is just the latest little bit of stupid shit I've seen in the last couple of days, and it leaves me wondering "Are people getting stupider?" I mean fuck, these two ass clowns should have known not to fuck with a live weapon that they've only seen in video games and Vietnam war movies, but no they have to fuck with it like dumb asses. What would have happened if it misfired......sure as shit somebody would have gotten hurt or killed, and for what because fatty wanted to play soldier?

Fast forward to today, I recently got a new coffee maker. I get home to install it and look at the directions in case there was some technically mumbo fucking jumbo like having to install the warp coil or flux capacitor or decipher ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics like when I have to program a T.V.

What I got instead was a little booklet with nice little pictures give me directions on how to not only open the box, but on how to remove said coffee maker from the box. Then how to remove the tape covering the open moving parts...................ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DO I LOOK LIKE SOME TURD WITH DOWN SYNDROME? I'm pretty sure that in order to take an object out of the box you do it the same was as you would the last 50 fucking thousand other boxes that I've opened. Not to mention these fabulously brain dead instructions were at the bottom of the box below the coffee maker, this means that the stupid fucker who can't figure it out is screwed. I'd hate to see that poor bastard in a position of power......oh wait their called politicians silly me.

Next I start to cut the tags of the new dog bed i got for my 20 pound fluff ball that things it's a rottweiler. Apart form the normal cleaning instructions in bold print was "Not to be used by children as a bed" Huh are you fucking kidding me? What piece of shit parent uses a dog bed for their kids bed, I can picture it now some trailer in the back 40 of butt fuck nowhere where cousins are potential dates. Billy Ray comes home from the road kill collection factory (his shed) "Lookie here ma, little Timmy don't have to sleep on dat dirt floor nomore no siry we gots him a dog bed. Now he can sleep like them edumacated folk. Fucking outstanding.

Maybe I'm just that extra little bit of annoyed with the human race today but it seems that we as a species are getting stupider by the minute. Please someone tell me I'm wrong and that I just need a nap and a sandwich.

But I'm not bitter

Random Hottie Of This Post

Amanda Latona
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Monday, November 1, 2010

Mad Max My Darkest Days




What sounds better then roaming the post nuclear wasteland in a beat up 1973 Ford Falcon, eat dog food straight from the can, and get chased around the Australian wasteland by guys wearing hockey masks.....personally I can't think of one fucking thing. Okay that's not really true, perhaps having Lucy Liu as my personal sex slave, or ruling the world with an iron fist would be nice, shit I'll even settle for my own island in the south pacific, but all that aside roaming the wasteland in the last of the V8 interceptors is pretty fucking dandy.

Now in case you have no fucking clue as to what I'm talking about my latest little video creation is focused on my favorite series of movies MAD MAX. Notice I didn't call it a trilogy, I always thought the third movie was it's own stand alone movie due to the fact that it doesn't really tie in that well with the others.....not to mention an almost complete lack of driving stuff until the end of the movie (It's still awesome though just not as awesome as The Road Warrior)

Anyways getting back on topic here I hope you enjoy the video, and like my other ones if you have any suggestions or even ideas for future videos that you would think would like to see let me know....because knowing is half the battle or some shit like that. And before I forget one final note, for some reason all my videos have been banned in Germany lately, not sure why, guess I pissed off the Hoff or something.



Random Hottie Of This Post

Gina Torres

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