Sunday, January 30, 2011

NHL Guardians........What The Fuck ?

First off I love hockey it's a great fucking sport, hey I'm Canadian after all and hockey is in our blood. The only thing I don't like about hockey is a lot of the bullshit politics and crap that the NHL shits out on a plate and thinks its wonderful. There latest little attempt at mass marketing and making money is with the new NHL Guardians.

Now if you haven't heard of them this is what it boils down to. They got Stan Lee, you know the fucker who created characters such as Spider Man to come up with super hero's that represent every team in the NHL. Each team gets a character named after the team, that wears the colors of the team and has different attributes and all that shit. Think of it like The X-Men only a lot more gay.

Seriously I know this shit is to get kids in skates and interested in hockey, but I also know this is a cheap stunt at trying to squeeze more cash out of mommy and daddy so little Timmy can have some action cards, or a shirt or some shit like that. Knowing those fuckers I'd bet money your going to see either a cartoon or video game based around this.

If the NHL wants to get people in seats and attract people to hockey especially Americans then there are better fucking ways to go about it. Not to mention these "super heroes" are fucking lame. Like what the fuck are they supposed to defend against, old gum on seats, or that the stadiums shitter doesn't plug up. Or how about making sure the ketchup dispenser is full and in functioning order, that's pretty important shit......NOT.

Frankly if you were in need of a super hero who would you want to save your ass. Some guy called The Toronto Maple Leaf who looks like he's spewing brown vomit from hos fucking hands or Batman. Yeah I think the answer to that question is pretty fucking simple.



If you haven't seen what these charecters look like here they are.

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Lisa Marie Scott

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tagged And Bagged

Don't worry it's nothing contagious. Kelly over at Psycho Carnival tagged me the other day for some sort of survey type thingy in which you all get to know my inner thoughts..........maybe that's better left locked in a fucking closet and forced to eat fish heads all day. Anyways I'm suppose to also tag 4 others who in tern tag 4 others and so on, which is exactly how the zombie apocalypse is going to happen. Well I'm going to change the rules up a little bit, instead of tagging 4 others I'll simply post the questions below the random video and if your partake in the joy the go for it.

Here are my answers

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?

I have a dog named Bear and yeah that fucker gets treated better then how I treat most people. This is because of two reasons. One most of the people that I've met in person are backstabbers, assholes, cock jawed shit turbines and generally in need of a good backhanded bitch slap. This isn't to say their all bad or that I hate people it's just that I seem to be a magnet for shit heads.

The second reason is a little more on the personnel side. Because of stuff that's happened in my recent history that little ball of fluff (He's about 20 lbs) gives me something to live for. I know it probably sounds cheesy but he seriously does. No matter what anybody ever says or does to me I know I can trust him and frankly if I didn't have my dog in my life I probably would have ended it years ago by jumping off a bridge or some crazy shit like that.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?


This is a now brainer........Lucy Liu I'll let you fill in the blanks.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

Just one fuck, but there are so many ass bags, anal tasters, and other general fuck ups who deserve to be mentioned. I guess my biggest piss off would have to be dumb people. If there's nothing that pisses me off fast it's someone who is either too stupid to figure out what they did wrong, or has the brain power and simply refuses to actually think.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Well I can tell you what I wouldn't do........miniature ponies. I mean fuck a billion dollars you better believe there is going to be some wild parties and freaky monkey sex happening at my place. I think the first thing I'd buy is a really expensive car just so I could trash it.

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

I'm still working on that one. Seriously though working out, I love to run it gets all that mental shit out of my head. Keeping my mind busy is good to, I think that's why I like editing those videos and spend long hours working on my website.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Neither what is more blessed is to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.

7. What is your bedtime routine?

Well I usually start off by reading some Harry Potter to a snack of milk and cookies, then a soothing bubble bath while listening to the music of the orcas............fuck that shit. I get the fuck up do my business and fall the fuck asleep. Then I get up at zero dark stupid and live it all over again. Good times had by all.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

Currently single unless you count the voices in my head and my imaginary girlfriend Susan in which case we met when I lost my marbles.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

What is this mickey mouse shit?

10. What kinds of books do you read?

I like books on history mostly. You can learn alot about the world we live in today by reading about the events that shaped it from the past. Apart from that sometimes I read scribblings on public washroom walls, their very informative.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

As the supreme overlord of the human race, possibly of mars as well to keep those fucking little green martian bastards in check.

12. What’s your fear?

I don't think I really fear anything. I don't fear death, heights, drowning, spiders, really anything at all.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

Just to be perfectly fucking clear I would give it up if I was 100 percent guaranteed to go into space. And I'm not talking about 5 minutes, I'm talking a month or more on that international space station, I'm greedy that way.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?

Single and rich, you can find dates a lot easier when you have a fat wallet. Being poor means the wife will nag you to death about being poor, you can't afford shit, and you beg for death doesn't that sound like fun?


15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
 
Ask myself why
 
16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
 
That she wasn't a figment of my imagination
 
17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
 
Something exotic, something that screams international man of mystery, something that will strike fear in the hearts of men and make women weak in the knees..........Pedro Juan Sanchez The Third
 
18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
 
No I hold grudges to the grave. You can't forgive the things that happened to me.
 
19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
 
The flesh from fallen angels, I've heard it tastes exactly like chicken only a little more dry and not so pious.
 
So there you have it there are my answers to those questions. Like I said I'm not tagging anyone to do these, but if you want to the questions are listed below the random video making it easier to copy and paste.
 
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Tia Carrere
 
 
 
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1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?


2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

7. What is your bedtime routine?

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

10. What kinds of books do you read?

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

12. What’s your fear?

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?



































 

Friday, January 21, 2011

SPAM

When I posted my latest video I got a lovely spam comment from a site called Boycott American Women (if your just dying to see the link it's in the comments of my last post, you can't miss it it's fucking huge). Naturally I had to check this site out just to see what the fuck is going on, and after a very short look through found that it is complete fucking garbage like what I thought it would be.

Now I do think there is a growing gender gap between males and females in terms of schooling, and the stats are showing that young males are being let down by the school system, but that's a little off topic.

Anyways this site is packed full of angry whining little bitches who call themselves men going on about how American woman are lazy, bitch a lot, demand everything, angry, and ungrateful and that women from places such as Mexico or third world countries are better. Oh and lets not forget the radical feminist lesbian agenda to control and hate on all men because all men are dogs and scum and all manner of shit.....right???? WRONG!!!

Personally I find it fucking amusing that these guys bitch and whine and bash American women and yet don't look in the mirror to see what maybe their doing wrong. Did it ever occur to these limp cheese dicks, that perhaps playing 20 hours of World of Warcraft at a time and not even bothering to get their significant other some flowers isn't cool. Oh and they talk back, how dare the women folk talk back to the men, fuck me sideways. Perhaps they talk back because these ass clowns need to be because their too fucking stupid to figure it out the first time. Perhaps just perhaps if these so called men put some actual effort into it maybe they would be getting some instead of going online and crying like a fucking wimpy bitch.

Some were going off about how great women from other countries are because they don't talk back and do what they ask. Maybe that's because their cultures are stuck in the fucking stone age where women aren't even considered human fucking beings, and their quiet because they don't want to get beaten like how their mother was and is.

Personally I never liked door mats, I want someone with some spunk and who will call me on my shit when I fuck up. I want someone with a personality and an opinion and not afraid to speak their mind. As for these fucking douche bags who are stuck in the 1950's grow the fuck up, grow a fucking set, and if you don't like how things are then suck it the fuck up, fix it and soldier on.......fucking pussy's 

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Emily Blunt

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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Children Of Men The End Is The Beginning Is The End

It's been far too fucking long since my last video, those ass nuggets at YouTube really left a bad taste in my mouth when the banned my Zombie Strippers video. And in similar fashion they gave me the shaft with my latest little creation, not by banning it, they let me keep it on YouTube. But they'll blocked it worldwide so only I can see it on there which makes a boat load of fucking sense. So first off WMG and YouTube FUCK YOU, YOU SLOPPY SECOND BITCH.

But just because YouTube doesn't like my video doesn't mean it's not going to be shown. I've embedded it on Facebook, my website, and thanks to Facebook on here for you to see. Anyways check it out and let me know what you think of it.

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Michelle Rodriguez

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I'm On The Short Bus To Hell

This morning like every morning I was out walking my dog along the seawall. I got to admit things have been pretty calm.........almost normal if you can believe that shit. Anyways I'm out doing my thing when I'm approached by two older German women (I knew they were German due to their thick German accents, not the cheesy I'm the camp commandant and if you fuckers don't play a game of soccer I'm going to have you fucking shot accent)

Now of course my dog who's 22 lbs of fluff and the biggest fucking suck in the world goes running over to them, tail wagging, looking for attention and possibly food, I swear that fucker would run away if you walked past me with a bag of bacon in your hand.

One of the German women (We'll call her Helga) comes up to me to ask a question, I say sure. Then she whips out a fucking bible and starts preaching religious shit to me about sermons and spears into plough shears....or was it stab Brittney Spears until she bursts out in tears.......I can't remember either way I was fucking pissed. She asks me what my faith is, which I reply I'm somewhere between an atheist and I don't givee a flying fuck  really know. And this is the part that makes my blood boil, she was all nice and polite but I could see in her and her strudel eating buddies eyes they were calling me a heathen and thinking I'm going to roast in the fires of hell.

Well who in the name of Zeus' ass do they fucking think they are? Why the fuck is it okay for them to come up to me and try to "save my soul"? Do I have a fucking sign that on my forehead that says "Wanted one fat fucking German bitch to preach about damnation in an effort to get me to repent my many sins.........and I have many, some of them were at a McDonald's drive through but that's a story for another day.

But on a serious side why is this okay? I have no problem if you or anyone wants to believe in God in whatever religious form you choose, that's your fucking right and I'm not going to stop you from doing it. I personally don't believe in god, I've seen far too much to probably ever believe in god and I think it's all a load of bullshit to begin with. I find it ignorant and history has proven more wars have been cause by religious ignorance then anything else.........but hey that's my belief. I may be an asshole but at least I'm honest. But yet for my beliefs or lack there of I'm the bad guy, I'm the one that has to tolerate this shit???........Fuck that noise, sure they were polite to me, and I was polite in return but fuck keep that fucking bible shit away from me.

Why can't they figure out that if people are truly interested in what they believe they'll find a way to go to them, they don't fucking need to come to my door, and they don't need to fucking stop me in the middle of my walk.

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Rosario Dawson


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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Fucking Printers, Nukes, And I Think I'm Losing My Fucking Mind


Today I decided to do up some simple business cards for the new website I've been a fucking slave to happily working on for the last little while which is why I haven't been posting on here as much as before. It started out simple enough I bought some fancy ass guaranteed not to smudge if I look at it the wrong fucking way type of paper, the type that what's his name from American Psycho would have approved of before running around naked and hacking people up with an axe (seems like a logical idea to me)

The reason for making these cards is because I could be going to some sort of meet and greet social networking type thing, and apparently theres a guy who knows his shit when it comes to web design, something I'm still trying to figure the fuck out. Not that I'm a fucking ass clown when it comes to computers and Internet shit and all that fancy stuff either, I can cut and paste like a motherfucker in a throw down.

So I get the paper find a nice free card creating site, I don't opt for the fuzzy pink fucking kitten picture that was the standard logo for the card type that I picked. I mean what the fuck kittens.......me.....not fucking happening. Instead I go for my sites new logo (pictured above in all its glory)

It comes time to print (oh fucking joy) but does it print looking all bad ass and razor like...NOPE IT'S A CLUSTER FUCK TO THE SECOND DEGREE. I print again calmly (sorta) and again a cluster fuck of epic proportions. So considering that I've spent most of the last couple of weeks up almost 24 hours a day working on, correcting, posting, and researching for this site I LOST MY SHIT. In full metal jacket style there I am going all drill Sergeant (I was only a corporal....and why the fuck am I typing all this shit in these bracket things, what the fuck is with that? Fucked if I know, fuck I think I'm talking to myself and typing it as well as answering myself..........meh fuck it)

Any who I am fucking screaming at this piece of plastic HP dog shit telling it I'm going to dry smash it into fucking oblivion and that if it had a neck I would be shitting down it.

Finally after a few minutes of this I had a realisation, I used the wrong program which is why the paper is all fucked up like a red headed step child. So I got the cards finally looking good to go.........Not sure why I told you all about that, it's not like it's all that important.....ahhh fuck it I'm losing it again.

Oh yeah I almost forgot I found this nifty little widget that lets you see what the blast radius of a nuclear warhead will be in any city on Earth, and it's kinda like Google maps. So you can find directions and avoid fallout, not a bad deal me thinks, here it is if you want to try it out, it's at the bottom of this post below the video. For some reason I keep having this urge when using it to nuke New York, not sure why......meh fuck it.

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Nina Dobrev

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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Keeping Up With The Shit Turbines.........I Mean Kardashians....Nope I Mean Shit Turbines

As you well know if you've followed this blog of mine I FUCKING HATE REALITY T.V. It seems every sperm dumpster who thinks their all that and a bag of chips has a reality show. A couple days I saw another fucking televised travesty of visual diareah......Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Now don't get me wrong I think Kim Kardashian is fucking hot and wouldn't throw her out of bed for eating crackers, fuck she could eat a whole turkey fucking dinner and spill shit all over the place and I'd be down with that. And for the hell of it I'd give the old pork sword to the mom and her two sisters to, cause I roll like that (just to clarify I think she has a couple of underage sisters I think, I'm talking about the ones that LEGAL...I'm not into jail). But I have a question WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK DID THESE ASS CLOWNS DO TO GET FAMOUS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Up till like two years ago I never head of these fucking idiots. Mention the name Kardashian and I would probably assume you were talking about those annoying fucking aliens on Star Trek Deep Space 9 ( yeah I watched from time to time fuckers BUT I AM NO FUCKING TREKKER BITCHES, THIS DUDE IS ALL ABOUT THE WARS........STAR FUCKING WARS) So where the fuck did these people come from? Are they illegal aliens or perhaps some government top secret project to create the most useless humans alive? Is this a sign of the impending zombie apocalypse perhaps? Either way this reality bullshit must end right the fuck now.

Here's what I propose....we take all these Jersey Shore, spray tan, skinny bitch, windbag, fucking model, I'm as fake as fucking humanly possible types who have turned television into a shit show and fire their sorry plastic asses into the fucking sun.

And just to clarify I watched the show because I was half out of it from spending most of the night putting my website together (http://www.therazors-edge.com/ in case you want to check it out) and was too fucking tired to reach the remote. I was practically passing out in my dinner. I was no way doing illegal things with farm animals and or midgets dressed as wrestlers........that's my story and I'm fucking sticking to it.

That is all

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Yeah I think you know who this is



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