Wednesday, March 30, 2011

New Video And This One Is About Cyborgs And Stuff

It's been too fucking long since my last video, so here is my latest one for your viewing pleasure.

For this one I used Robocop 1 and 2 which are a couple of my favorites movies from when I was a kid, possibly because of all the violence and blood and good times had by all. Not to mention there is hardly any fucking good Robocop videos on YouTube, this is seriously fucking wrong on so many levels. I mean for fucks sake this movie is epic. How many other movies does somebody get literally blown to shit in such a violent way only to be brought back as a bad ass cyborg super I will fuck your shit up cop. If I ever find myself in a situation like that I would want to come back just like this.........well as long as I still had everything below, I mean how the fuck am I suppose to fuck toasters and waffle irons without that?

Anyways the song I chose was So Cold by the band Breaking Benjamin and was inspired by the movie 28 Days Later. Listen to the lyrics and you can totally hear the references relating to zombies which is why I like this song.

Anyways hope you like it and let me know what you think in the comment section below. If you haven't seen my other videos I have most of them posted on the videos page of this blog. You can also go to my YouTube channel ( snakeeyesx1vp  ) to see them there.







Random Hottie Of This Post

Kristen Bell

Here are a couple other completly random videos I thought you might enjoy as well



Monday, March 21, 2011

1st Annual Douche Bag Awards

This month marks the 1 year anniversary of this fine little blog of mine. I mean fuck can you believe it's been a year, though I'm positive this event will be a milestone in human history. First we discovered fire, then split the atom, and now this blog......okay that's just a tab bit grandiose but you get the drift.

To celebrate this anniversary I will not do the following

1. I will not give you fuckers money, sorry what can I say I'm a cheap asshole deal with it.

2. I will not give away shit, again refer to number 1

3. I will not engage or, or have engaged on me sexual relations with farm animals. However mythological creatures are acceptable. Besides unicorns are fucking sexy, or at least a donkey painted white with a carrot glued to their forehead.

What I will be doing is something a little different, the first annual Douche Bag Awards. How it works is like this. Below will be a bunch of categories (kinda like the Oscars but without the fake transparent bullshit) those who win well get a lovely award, well not really an award per say more like a nice half soaked piece of paper I found in a dumpster and I'll scribble something on it in crayon. This will then be rolled into a fine little scroll and sealed in whatever sticky substance I can find on the street to be delivered to the shit stain who deserves such a grandiose fucking award.

On top of that I won't be doing the nominations, I leave that up to you guys. Leave in the comments who you think deserves what award and who ever is nominated the most wins.

And The Categories Are

1. Most likely a coked out transvestite

2. Probably a nice guy but I still want to punch him in the nuts

3. Deserves to be fed feet first into a wood chipper

4. If I hear this bitch one more time I will start a shooting spree in a fucking mall

5. Please eat shit and die as fast as humanly possible, I mean seriously I will pay you to stop traffic with your face

6. The worlds biggest oxygen thief

7. This bitch needs to shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich

8. The poster child for abortion

9. It's because of this person I drink

10. Why were you born ?

11. Will the mother ship please pick you the fuck up already

12. Shut your fucking face already

13. Sure your famous now but in a couple of years you'll be living in a dumpster giving hand jobs for crack

And finally

14. The world's biggest douche bag

Leave in the comment section below who you think deserves what. Leave as many comments as you want and pass the word I want to see a shit load of suggestions. I'll post who won what by April 10th so that gives you lots of time to nominate whichever skid mark you think deserves this.

Random Hottie Of This Post


Heidi Klum

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Sunday, March 13, 2011

Tourist Stuff

If your wondering where I've been for the last week I've been spending some time in Cabo San Lucas Mexico, soaking up some sun, and comsuming my fair shair of Tequila. (You would be too if you looked at some of the deals for hotels and airfare online before spring break it was fucking dirt cheap)

Now Cabo was fucking outstanding, the hotel staff were fanfuckingtastic, the weather was fucking outstanding and hot, and the booze went down smoother then a well trained escort (Or so I've been told at least). But while everthing on the Mexican side of things was great there was one thing that irratated the shit out of me... THE TOURISTS. For my entire stay the hotel has been filled with just Canadians and Americans and I have to say there were thngs both groups did that made me shake my head and ask "What the fuck is wrong with these ass tards?"

Don't get me wrong there was some people who I met who were pretty fucking on the level, but it seemed as if both counties shipped every possible asshole, fuck tard, reject, and dumb ignorant fuck it could to get some breathing space for a week or two. So I thought I would put it all into a nice neat little list of stupid ignorant shit you should not do, say or ask when you go on your next vacation.

First The Canadians

1. To you fucking flakey weird fucks from Toronto WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. Every one of you that I met down here was fucking off hinged in some way. Either you would give me a look like I was a fucking purple headed alien when I said hi. Or you would bullshit about how fuckng great you are, pretend to be freindly and then fuck off and never speak to me or those I was with again. What the fuck happend to having a normal fucking conversation assholes?

2. To the fucking ass clown who thought he was a big shot (You know who you are with your fucking cowboy hat pretending your from Texas) I don't give a runny shit if your richer then astronauts, in fact nobody fucking cares for that matter. SO quit fucking acting like your God's gift to the world. MInd you I should thank you for one thing, the girl who worked the lobby bar has a nice ass and becuase you were throwing her money left and right I got free reign to stare at it. But for fuck's sake I didn't want to do it sober, let the rest of us get some fucking booze.

3. And last but not least I don't care how fucking nice and polite you are. DOn't come up to me and ask me personel questions about my life, what I do, who I do it with, and how when I've never met you before. Perhaps your lonley and just wanted to talk, and if that's the case you could have simply said "Hello" or "Hi". Of course I would have been way fucking nicer to you if you weren't a 70 year old man. Sorry fucker I don't swing that way.

And Now For The Americans

1. First off read a fucking book, a map, or use the internet once in awhile other then to look at what fucking shit Charlie Sheen is spewing about. (I should point out that not everyt American was this fucking rude just a handful who really got on my nerves) I am not the following

a. A lumberjack
b. A fur trader
c. An Eskimo

I do not live in a fucking igloo and eat fucking seal meat all day while praying for one day without snow so I can fix my fucking dog slead. I know what country music is, I know what Wall-Mart is (we have them too and we hate them just as much as you do). And the reason why I don't say "eh" at the beginning of every sentence ,and "aboot" instead of "about" is becuase I'm not a fucking retard you shit stain. It's a fucking sterotype, sure there are some that do but myself and every one of the thousands of Canadians I know DON'T FUCKING SOUND LIKE THAT.

2. Learn to fucking tip for fucks sake. The staff don't exactly make a shit load of money so one or two dollars here and there isin't going to really hurt you. DON'T BE SO FUCKING CHEAP.

3. I don't fucking care how fucking great you think you are, but when I can hear you brag about what kind of car, stocks, 20 something year old with fake tits your banging because you discovered Viagra, or how many homes you own over the fucking music at the pool it's time to learn to SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody but you cares we all think your an asshole or full of shit or both, so keep it the fuck down....please.

4. While I think it's great that your proud of America and I think you should be, don't shove it in my face. I'm as proud to be Canadian as you are American, but I don't want to fucking hear how fucking much better you think you are over anyone else. Perhaps you should do some reasearch online because we Candians tend to live longer, are heathier, are happeir (well except for me perhaps but fuck it) and people around the world kinda like us better. Perhaps that's why I was getting my drinks before you.....just a thought.

Anyways that's all I have to bitch about for now until I get back home and some other asshole decides to fuck with my oxygen.

Random Hottie Of This Post


Kelly Brook

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P.S

If your wondering why there are mre spelling errors then normal, it's because Blogger's spell check is being fucking retarted and highlighting almost every word so I can't tell which ones are correct or wrong.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

I'm Rich Bitch

Today I got a wonderful email that went a little something like this:

Dear Mr. Wolf

The Yahoo Lottery Corporation is pleased to tell you that you've been selected and won 1 million dollars. All you have to do is send us a blank cheque with your signature and we will wire you the money right away.

Sincerely

Mr. S Perm Dumpster
Yahoo Lottery Corporation
Some shit hole butt fuck middle of nowhere country you've probably never heard of
www.this is a fucking scam@ fuck you.whatever.

This isn't the exact message but I'm typing this on me net book and it was saved on my desktop, my version has more of that certain something something.

Do these shit heads really think I'm so fucking stupid that I would send a blank check with my signature, why the fuck don't I staple my balls to my fucking forehead while I'm at it as well. I love how they ripped off the name of a major search engine....one of the 5 largest I believe and only dwarfed by mega search giant Google. I love how they couldn't fucking use a spell check and the mis-matched word placement of some jerk off with a basic grasp of English. And my favorite is that it was addressed to some bullshit office in Nigeria. Geez  the last time I checked the only shit that comes out of Nigeria is fucking bullshit scams trying to suck money out of North Americans. Well maybe not just bullshit scams, theres also blood diamonds, drugs, smuggled weapons, human trafficking, and the occasional genocide just to keep things interesting. So I guess I'm just a tiny bit skeptical that millions of dollars with my name on it are just across the ocean.

Not that I wouldn't love to have a few million, I would only use the money for good........who the fuck am I kidding it's all hookers and fast cars and gold plated toilet seats (who doesn't want to feel to touch of a precious metal on their ass when they take a shit......and why do they call it taking a shit anyway? I'm not taking it anywhere, I'm not going to a restaurant with it and buying it fucking dinner, I'm confused)

Getting back on point here, to those who make these scams, to those who are fucking parasites who pray on those who are naive and not savy to the fuck tards on the Internet I only have one thing to say to you FUCK YOU, YOU SLIMY TWINKLE TOED CROSS EYED CHICKEN FUCKER.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Catherine Bell

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