It's A Bird It's A Plane........No Monkey Nuts It's Fuck You Friday

Once again it's that time of the week. That special time when the weekend is about to begin, you'll probably hit some bar, maybe have a drink or two or twelve. Then perhaps try you're luck on some loose women only to wake up the next morning either hugging a public toilet at a bus stop, or you'll wake up beside Helga the one eyed bridge troll and ask yourself "Did I just do what I think I just did? Is there enough bleach to make my soul clean?"

But seriously who are we kidding here you and I both know that you'll spend it alone drooling over the ladies in the Sears Catalog and drinking Tang the drink of astronauts. That being said remember to get over to Gucci Mamma who is hosting this weeks Blog Stalk Friday and Fawk You Friday Hosted by Boobies Babies and a blog, so check that shit out (obviously AFTER you read mine)

So here we go;

FUCK YOU To the arthritis in both my knees. You think that grinding sensation that feels like a fucking screw driver is scraping away at the inside of my knee cap gives me wood. It sucks horse dink, that being said I refuse to let that crap slow me down.

FUCK YOU To the running douche bag who was too concerned to miss a beat to some Marky Mark to run around me and my dog when my dog was playing with a puppy. Instead you fucking jump over them like a horse? It's a dam good thing my dog is very calm and didn't get spooked, or that the puppy didn't get spooked because if you had landed on one of them they would be dead......AND THEN YOU WOULD BE DEAD BECAUSE I WOULD DROWN YOU'RE STUPID ASS IN THE OCEAN. Chill the fuck out slow down or go around, you might actually burn more calories by going just a few feet over numb nuts.

FUCK YOU To the homeless guy tonight who thought the middle of the stairs out in front of the Olympic cauldron was a great place to spend five minutes spitting up shit from you're meth habit. Way to go asshole nothing spells love like spitting you're germs near kids and people just trying to get around you. If you needed to spit that fucking badly WALK TEN FEET AND SPIT IN THE OCEAN NOT WHERE PEOPLE WALK.

FUCK YOU To the guy who stopped in front of the parking lot and blocked 3 or 4 cars because you had to answer you're cell phone. Now this one didn't happen to me but seriously you had to block people right in the middle of the street, right in front of the gate to the underground parkade because you're cell phone rang.....WHO THE FUCK WAS IT YOU'RE BOYFRIEND ASSHOLE. You seriously couldn't have driven TWENTY FEET and parked by the sidewalk completely out of the way?

FUCK YOU To the Humpty Dumpty mother fucker who had to walk right in the middle of the road. Hey fatty are you on glue? Get you're ass on the sidewalk and keep it there so cars can get around you especially the one I was driving. Seriously if I wasn't concerned about how large of a fucking dent you would have left in the hood I would have ran you're ass over.

FUCK YOU To the Blockbuster close to where I live. Yes I understand you needed to do renovations and the place looks much better on the inside, there's just one little tiny problem. THE WAY YOU RE-ORGANIZED THE SHELVES MEANS I CAN'T FIND A SINGLE FUCKING NEW RELEASE.....these are movies not fucking buried treasure and no you are not a pirate (at least the kind that wears an eye patch and knows how to sail)

Overall it was actually a pretty decent week

Random Hottie Of This Post

Christina Ricci

Yes I know I posted one of her pics on my last post. But hey that pic didn't turn out so well, so here's a clearer one.

Random Video Of This Post

People Actually Use These To Find My Blog ?

It's been awhile since I last checked how this blog is doing on Google Analytics, and I'm curious to know how everyone who STALKS ME follows me and reads this blog and what they use to find it. Now from time to time I've seen other people's lists and I've come to this conclusion THE PEOPLE WHO INVENTED ANALYTICS ARE SMOKING FUCKING CRACK......yup I fucking said it crack.

So I thought I would share with you all the wonderful search terms people have used to find this blog;

"Cock Jawed" Hmmm okay I guess whatever floats you're boat buddy.

snafu what the fuck is that Wow you're A COMPLETE FUCKING MORON confused about what this means. It means (In case you don't know this by now) Situation Normal All Fucked Up.....kinda like that homeless guy who offers hand jobs behind the dumpster for cigarettes.

 fuckingkids yes they are

megan pickle crazy Who the fuck is Megan ?

midget fucking blogspot I'm sure that would be a big hit in Mexico

what does "take no shit or prisoners" mean? If I need to explain this to you I'll find you a large Q-Tip to give yourself a frontal lobotomy

why are women in vancouver such stuck up bitches Now isn't that a good question

kelly hrudey should get kicked in the junk Yes indeed that sack of fat deserves just that

kelly hrudey is a donkey raping shit eater Sure I'll buy that

In case you don't know who Kelly Hrudey is he is a commentator on Hockey Night In Canada and a former goaltender for the Los Angeles Kings back in the 90's. Personally I hate the fucker because he changes his opinion in mid sentence and talks out his ass while having meat sweats from eating 12 cheeseburgers before the show.

mr limpdik Speak for yourself asshole

captain kirk two handed punch ?????????

vancouver gay escorts Really??? What the fuck is this shit??

But the number one keyword that constantly pops up is don't turn this rape into a murder. Every day I get a couple of hits using that term or something close to it such as;

bitch don't turn this rape into a murder

turn me into a murderer

rape and murder

don't turn this murder into a rape

Are you fucking kidding me, so I Googled it. And guess where I sit out of 5,750,000 results......NUMBER FUCKING ONE. Well isn't that just peachy, I mean I knew I would eventually be number one of something just not this. Seriously though how many sick fucks are out there looking for advice on how to rape and murder and get rid of the evidence afterwards. So I did some simple math......by the way I suck at math.

Here it goes if the average who use that term is 2 per day that's about 30 a month. That translates into about 720 a year give or take a few, 720 a year translates into a lot of sick fucks out there. And that's not including any increase in traffic, just at where it sits now. This ultimately brings me to my next point WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I'm confused my head hurts and I need to poop.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Christina Ricci

Random Video Of This Post

For You're Viewing Pleasure

One of the things I like to do when I have spare time is watch porn make videos that I post on YouTube, it's turned into a hobby I guess. I don't know why I started getting into doing this but I enjoy doing it..........almost as much as dancing to techno in a crotchless lobster suit stuff. So here are my two latest ones for you fuckers to enjoy, because I'm all about sharing.

The first one is from the movie The Book Of Eli, the song is If You Tolerate This by Manic Street Preachers. Now if you haven't seen this movie...go fucking rent it or buy it or prostitute yourself out on a street corner offering hand jobs behind a dumpster to get it. Simply put it's a wicked movie, and one of my favorite of the whole post apocalypse genre.



The second and my newest one is to Mad Max 1 and Mad Max 2 The Road Warrior to the song Black And Blue by Brand New Sin (Yeah I was going with a theme doing stuff about the post apocalypse) Now if you haven't seen any of the Mad Max movies you probably need a good ole fashioned bitch slap, you know the kind that pimps use on their hoes when they don't fucking pony up all the money they made.......fucking holdouts. Anyway here's the video.



Anyways hope you enjoy them and I'll make some more soon. If you have any ideas for ones leave me a comment or send me an email ( thewolfsden@live.ca ) if you want to see my other ones on YouTube CLICK HERE and no I fucking won't do one to Pride And Prejudice unless they do a movie version of Pride And Prejudice And Zombies, or the Twilight movies because I think there......well ummm GAY!!!! Sparkly fucking vampires my ass, there suppose to fucking explode like in From Dusk Till Dawn.......bastards.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Jamie Chung

Rejoice Bitches It's Fuck You Friday Time

Now that I've said what I've had to say about the bullshit blog bashing from last night I think it's high time for another edition of Fuck You Friday (If you didn't get a chance to read it, it's the post below this one)

So with that being said here we go:

FUCK YOU to the bitch as McDonald's, why the fuck when I went to place my order you were talking to me like I'm some sort of robot...........DO I LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING TERMINATOR? Do I look like I have a neuro net processor in my cpu right beside the re-fuckulated flux capacitor? How about you try this, SPEAK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN FUCKING BEING.....just saying.

FUCK YOU to the piece of shit parking meter at the underground parking lot at Best Buy. Sure you're electronic and don't have a soul, but you're still a fucking douche bag. If you were alive I would cut you for taking my 2.25.

FUCK YOU to the three shit lickers on their bikes the other night when I went for a run who almost ran into me. First off assholes the fucking side closest to the rocks, not the side closest to the ocean is where fuck sticks like you ride you're bikes and roller blades. And second if you can't see shit because it was at night DON'T GO FOR A FUCKING BIKE RIDE, you're obviously have the night vision of a drunken hobo.

FUCK YOU to the old guy who wouldn't stop staring at me from across the street, seriously are you looking at the car or me.........the car fine that's one thing not that a 95 Honda Prelude is so fucking awesome, mind you it's like new and has under 50 thousand miles (no that's not rolled over either that's all it has). BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT OLD FUCKER. Now if you're staring at me creepy old dude I hate to break it to you, I'm not into dudes.

FUCK YOU to the bitch who referred to me to her friend as "Ewww look at that gross guy" when I took my dog for a walk a couple days ago. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Is it really necessary to refer to me as "That gross guy"....do I fucking look like Jabba the Hutt? I personally love how people who are extremely insecure have to make themselves feel better about themselves by running others down. By the way you look like you came in second place in a shovel fighting contest, so maybe you should take a good fucking look in the mirror before you run down others.

FUCK YOU to the guy who got caught breaking into cars at the nearby hotel where a friend of mine lives. You're probably the guy who broke into almost 100 cars last week, so I think it fucking hilarious that the cops busted you're pathetic ass and caught you in the act. I hope you get rapped in prison for years.

And last but not least FUCK YOU to the shitty toilet paper I bought because it was on sale, YOU FUCKING SUCK.

Okay now I feel better.......sorta.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Stacy Keibler

Random Video Of This Post

Bullshit Blog Reviews

Normally I would have posted my “Fuck You Friday” post today but I’m a little pissed off about something that I’ve been thinking about ever since I read it last night. What pissed me off was this supposed “review” blog that turned into a bash feast for one of my favourite bloggers CB (The Crazy Brunette Chick in case you didn’t know, and if you never read her blog her link is posted on my sidebar)


Honestly I never fucking liked blogs or sites that offered reviews of other people’s blogs, I mean how can you really rate what somebody wrote anyway, it’s their thoughts and they can write them down anyway they see fit. I read the “review” and I use that term loosely, I also read a few other previous posts and a page that shows you “how to blog”……….frankly WHAT A LOAD OF ONE SIDED HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT.

This so called “review” was nothing more then an attempt to bash and ridicule a blog that I find entertaining and a blogger who I consider a friend. Fuck I wouldn’t co- author a blog with her if I didn’t. I’m not going to post the sites link because frankly I don’t think there blog deserves the readers. And my question is “Who the fuck is this person, and why should I give a rat’s ass about what they have to say?” Are you some “expert” blogger who gets paid to review blogs……..probably not. You’re just an average Joe like the rest of us who blogs because it’s a hobby and or you enjoy doing it. There are no rules when it comes to what you write about, how you write it, or how you’re blog looks. So how can you or anyone really give a review on something that’s designed to be a person’s interests and thoughts? That’s like me walking down the street and giving a “review” to some stranger about the way they walk, or how they chew their fucking gum. That’s them and the way they do it……don’t like if FUCK OFF.

And let’s talk about the commentators using high school bullshit and insulting how she looks or the fact that she has to draw on her eyebrows…..what the fuck does her looks have to do with anything, what a piss poor attempt at trying to feel all “big and bad”……what are they 14? I love how pathetic some people have to be that they have to hide behind a computer screen hundreds or even thousands of miles away to insult someone………yeah way to fucking go losers, you really are my hero. Of course by hero I mean you make me laugh because you’re that fucking sad. These people lack the balls to say things like that when in person so they have to hide behind a computer screen to feel safe. To you 14 year old or those with the mentality of a 14 year old, go back to playing World Of Warcraft or Farmville or chronic masturbating or whatever the fuck you do. You want to give an opinion fine, then give an opinion save the bullshit insults for after school near the monkey bars.

Getting back on track with this “review” while it did make a couple good points about maybe adding a little more depth and adding a few more “quirkish stories” that’s about as far as it went in actually offering anything of value that CB could use. The rest was just garbage that this particular blogger puked out in order to try to add some interest to their sad little blog. I especially loved how they went on criticizing the layout of her site, last time I checked IT’S HER FUCKING BLOG SHE CAN LAY IT OUT ANYWAY SHE DAM WELL WANTS, just like me, you or you’re cousins dog can pick any blog design they want and put whatever the fuck they want on it. And frankly a lot of blogs out there look pretty much the same so the fact that she took the time and a shit load of effort and made something unique that stands out should be praised not insulted.

If you’re going to “review” a blog (And I’ve reviewed a few I’m not talking out my ass here) you don’t talk shit or talk down to them. Give them an honest review of what works and what doesn’t and give them suggestions on how they can improve their site. Save the fucking attitude for another day and give them something they may find helpful, otherwise keep you’re fucking opinion to yourself and don’t visit the site if you have a problem with it.

CB you rock and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise
 
Random Hottie Of This Post
 

Laura Vandervoort

 

 
Random Video Of This Post