And Now Another Edition Of Fuck You Friday

So here we are it's another Friday night, and the world is all fucking magical and elves are dancing and singing.....yeah fuck that shit I want napalm dropped on those little bastards from a fighter jet. It's been a busy week for this wolf, courses all manner of shit, some good, some bad, some well just meh. But I know I couldn't leave all my loyal STALKERS followers (all 2 of you) alone and scared, so here is another post to keep you going.

So here we go:

Fuck you to the fucking seagull who thought my head would be an excellent target to shit on. I was covered all over the place with bird shit that look like moldy milk and half chewed. Thanks you fucking shit hawk I really love being covered in you're fucking ass droppings. If you EVER land where I can catch you I'll hold you down and shit on you to give you a taste of what it feels like you feathered fuck.

Fuck you to the fat American family from the middle of nowhere Alabama who thought me being covered in shit was funny. 10 more feet ass wipes....10 more feet and you your fat cow of a wife, and you're little shit 14 year old offspring would be wearing it. By the way those ice cream bars that were dripping down your shirts arn't going to make you skinny.

Fuck you to the creepy weirdo on the mountain bike who started to sing to me about how you and you're brother have a million dollars in the bank. Let's get it clear asshole 1. I doubt your a millionaire 2. You smelled like piss and cheap booze 3. If you had a million dollars I don't give a rat's ass 4. Leave me the fuck alone.

Fuck you to the asshole who ran a red light and almost ran me over. Get you're head out of you're ass numb nuts. You missed me by an inch and you yell at me you shit stain, and you're confused why I wanted to punch you in the face..............good job dumb ass.

Fuck you to the three stuck up bitches who couldn't move one fucking foot over so I could get past them when I went for my last run. I know you saw me coming, I know you heard me say "Excuse me please", and you knew I had no fucking place to go but along the edge. But no you didn't move over so I had to otherwise I would have plowed right into you're stupid asses. In doing so I twisted my knee. Have you ever had a knee injury bitches, it's not fun.........I hope you get herpes.

Fuck you HST (Harmonized Sales Tax) which the province just brought in. My last grocery bill went up 20 bucks. I hope you plan on doing something useful with the money like...............anything but hookers and blow you crooked greedy shits.

And last but not least Fuck you to google keywords, are you fucking serious that people use the term "DON'T TURN THIS RAPE INTO A MURDER" to find my blog, really...wow or how bout "VANCOUVER GAY ESCORTS" what the fuck kind of game are you playing with me Google? Do I have to smack a search engine?

So that sums it up for this weeks Fuck you Friday, and now go make me a sandwich.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Beyonce

Random Video Of This Post

Don’t Turn This Rape Into A Murder And Other Bad Pickup Lines

Okay we’ve all done and said some pretty stupid things I’ll be the first to admit it. But one thing that always cracks me up is seeing some wannabe player at a bar or club trying to pick up a girl he likes. Most of the time these dumb asses are young guys who are fresh out of high school so you can almost forgive their dumb remarks as lack of experience in a social environment. That being said there are those who even in their 40’s use lines that leave you scratching your head and wondering “What the fuck was that ?”.
The title of this post is one such pick up line I saw being used at some country bar in Edmonton Alberta a few years ago. Now Edmonton isn’t exactly a high class place, but it’s not a shit smear either, well maybe sorta but that’s for a different post. Anyways this was back in my army days and this clown was one of the guys I worked with. I’m not sure how to describe him without revealing his identity so I won’t. Anyway after a couple hours of Tequila and god knows what else he decides he’s going to try his luck with the ladies. He scans the bar while trying to keep from falling on his ass and spots an attractive blonde (Well I think she was attractive I was pretty hammered at that moment myself) he staggers up to here, grabs her by the shoulder and yells while spitting in her face “Hey bitch don’t make me turn this rape into a murder !”

Your probably thinking at this point that she was shocked and slapped him in the face, then a bouncer or two hauled his ass out the door. WRONG she went home with him, can you fucking believe it, she actually wanted to go home with this guy which leave me wondering what her mental capacity is. And while this line worked for him, chances are good it won’t for you, it may land you in jail where some giant buffed guy the call “Tiny Tim” will take special interest in you because you look so darn purdy.

Another guy I knew would use quotes from Full Metal Jacket. Now while I think this is one of the best movies ever and can recite most of the lines in that movie, telling some girl she’s so ugly she could be a modern art masterpiece and that she wouldn’t have the common curtsey to give a reach around probably won’t get you in her good books or back to her place.

Then there was the wannabe Scotsman when he started drinking. This fat tub of ass after two beers would suddenly think he was Sean Connery. This puke piece of shit would go up to women and start spewing off in a fake Scottish accent. The odd part was…..he was French.

My personal favourite was from this guy I’ll call “Tim” not his real name or even close to it by the way. This guy already had a strike against him as a chronic liar; he once told me he was a formula one race car driver, WWE wrestler and 200 pounds over weight all at once. He would approach women and use all sorts of stories to get them to go home with him. One of my favourites was that he would pretend he played in the NHL for (Insert whatever team was playing against the Edmonton Oilers that night here) There was only one problem with this plan. Most people who are at the bars in Edmonton are watching the hockey game, so it’s just a little difficult to say you’re the star forward for whatever team when the real star forward just scored a goal.

As for me I’ve never used cheesy pick up lines or made up stories to try to get a girl interested in me. Personally I think it’s completely fucking stupid, I mean seriously whatever happened to just going up to a girl and saying hi is that so fucking hard these days?

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Liu