The Urban Dictionary defines a douche bag as :
Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker.
An example would be :
Rob:He kept hitting on my girlfriend at the party, he just wouldn't leave her alone!!
Sam: God, what a douche bag
Here are some of the signs :
If you think yelling above everyone else about how much money you have, or that you just made some big fucking financial deal makes you look like an all star YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.
If you're walking down the street and think it would be the fucking greatest idea in the worked to hork up snot and spit it on the ground right in front of someone YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.
If you go into a building and instead of holding the door open for the person behind you FOR A WHOLE TWO FUCKING SECONDS, but instead let it slam in their face YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG COCK JAWS.
If you're one of those tweeny teenage fuck sticks who insist on giggling, throwing popcorn or in general being a loud mouthed little shit smear when people who used their own money NOT MOMMY AND DADDY'S to pay to watch that movie YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY A DOUCHE BAG.
If you're too fucking lazy to use a turn signal but instead just cut everyone off and then wonder why somebody is flipping you off YOU ARE A STUPID DOUCHE BAG.
If you think it's a great idea to get drunk at you're buddies place and try to grab everyone's wife and girlfriends ass, you not only deserve a severe ass kicking YOU ARE ALSO A DOUCHE BAG.
If you're one of those lazy little shits who can't be bothered to pick up after you're dog who just left a nice fresh steamer in the middle of the sidewalk YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.
If you're the type of person who never shuts up about themselves and thinks their the greatest human being in the entire history of the fucking universe YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.
If you're the type of person who fucks another person in the ass and doesn't have the God damn common courtesy to give them a reach around YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.
If you're the type of person who owns a monster sized fucking Doge Hemi quad cab, extra long box, no muffler, flames shooting off the side, sticker of Kalvin pissing on a Ford logo, and plastic balls dangling from the rear axle of you're truck to make up for you're shortfalls. And you drive that monster sized Doge Hemi like a fucking moron, and act like the road is you're personal fucking race track, and have no fucking respect for the thousands of other drivers, pedestrians, or anyone else on or near the road YUP YOU GUESSED IT YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.
If you're one of those educated fucks who think that because you went to some fancy ass school that you're automatically better then anyone YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.
If you're from Toronto and not only think it's the center of the universe but think their hockey team the Toronto Maple Leafs are the greatest hockey team in the fucking universe FUCK I HATE YOU AND YES YOU ARE INDEED A DOUCHE BAG.
If you're too fucking lazy to get off your ass and make that sandwich you're fat ass is craving, but instead yell at you're significant other to make it for you YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.
And last but not least :
If you are a puke piece of dog shit who insists on being as rude as humanly possible to others because you're life is a sad never ending misery parade and you secretly pray each day for death YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.
Hope that clarified it for you, now you to can spot a douche bag.
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