Fuck You Friday And A New Award

Before I start this week's FUCK YOU FRIDAY I want to give a special shout out to Kelly and his blog Psycho Carnival for giving me the Lol Award, check out his blog if you're into funny twisted shit. If you're into lawn bowling or perhaps garden gnomes then this is not for you and you should promptly seek out someone to bitch slap you in the face until their hand hurts. Also being in the spirit of sharing I wanted to pass this nifty little nugget of an award to two blogs that I think are funnier then a moose dry humping a tourist, they are

Max Evel and his Underworld blog and the Dutchess of Dorkville and her drunken bathtub antics.

Now with all that taken care of here are my fuck yous for this week..........enjoy.

FUCK YOU to the asshole in the black BMW who almost ran me over AGAIN at the intersection of West Georgia and Denman Street. Really you can't drive without trying to send a fucking text message at the same time? And what the hell is with you turds in you're black BMW sports cars driving like giant douche bags....can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on, because it seems that every other day some ass clown in one of these cars wants to turn my ass into a hood ornament.

FUCK YOU to the senile old fucker who stopped in the middle of the parking lot and stared out into the great beyond while me and at least a half other people were either trying to enter or leave that parking lot. Stare all you want asshole you're not going to understand the universe any more then the rest of the talking fucking chimps on this little planet. How about you do us all a giant fucking favour AND PARK YOU'RE FUCKING CAR.

FUCK YOU to the greasy homeless hippie motherfucker who thought I was his personnel ATM. Really you looked younger then me, I'm not saying I'm old but fuck dude you're like what 18? First off why the fuck are you begging for change, you're not crippled, strung out on drugs, or have some kind of mental handicap other then being a complete fucking lazy ass. If you need money that fucking bad (which I'm sure you do because you smelt like piss and olives) the McDonald's just down the street is hiring. Who knows maybe you'll be promoted to the guy who operates the soft ice cream machine and you'll get to eat all the expired fish sandwiches. But don't come to me expecting a hand out, the only people I give hand outs to are the veterans selling poppy's for Remembrance day, or the guys with the bells looking for donations for the Salvation Army. And since you're neither of those FUCK OFF.

FUCK YOU to the creepy smelly fucker who ran up wanting to pet my dog. Do you honestly think I'm going to let some guy who smells like he shit himself touch my dog......FUCK THAT. My dog sleeps on my bed asshole and I don't want him to smell you.

FUCK YOU to the wobbly step ladder I was using to clean my windows. It's a long drop down those 12 stories onto the pavement and thanks to you're shitty made in whatever backward butt fuck third world country I dam near kissed that road. On the bright side I have been perfecting my swan dive technique.

FUCK YOU to Gordon Campbell B.C.'s now former premiere. Thank the gods you stepped down you are a joke, oh and thanks for forcing us to now pay the new HST (harmonized sales tax) A tax I might add is not only messed up on paper but has almost zero support from taxpayers, business, and a good deal of those in the government, yet you rammed this shit down our throats. Thank you for continuing the long standing tradition of fucking the province over and making it just that much harder for honest people to live here without having to work two or more jobs, and for making it more undesirable for business to establish themselves here. Awesome job douche bag, I personally love how you are now the most hated Canadian politician since Canada became a country, pat yourself on the back for that one.

FUCK YOU to those little green alien bastards. Why the fuck have you not come down to beam me up to take me to you're home world and declare me you're new leader. Do I have to send you a fucking resume too assholes...........and do you even have email? I mean yeah sure you invented interplanetary space travel, but you don't even have an x-box, I've heard all you have is fucking table tennis and checkers. WHO THE FUCK PLAYS CHECKERS THESE DAYS? 

And that's all I have to say on that.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Gillian Anderson

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Fuck You Friday On Sunday

Okay so I know I normally do my fuck yous for the week on Friday, but there have been some things that have prevented me from doing so, meh fuck it better late then never I always say. On another and completely different note I hope to have a couple new videos for you guys in a week or two.

First and foremost FUCK YOU to the Asian woman who was practically dry humping the fucking elevator button while yammering away on her cell phone. Okay fucker you stand right in front of the elevator button and fucking bitch in Chinese (I think it was Chinese) about who the fuck knows what to who the fuck cares, but the whole time the elevator's not coming.........why you ask BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T PUSH THE FUCKING BUTTON. So I take the initiative and reach around her to push it, only to have her give me dirty looks like I was going grab her, sorry but I don't plan on wasting my fucking life away while you wait to figure out why the fuck the elevator isn't coming.

FUCK YOU to the slow ass fuckers in the parking garage who couldn't figure out what the fuck they were doing and were driving slower. Really it's a fucking parking lot, here let me break it down on what you need to do. 1. you drive you're sorry ass around until you find a spot to park. 2. YOU FUCKING PARK THE FUCKING CAR. You don't sit in the middle of the way and block it for everyone, and you don't drive so fucking slow I can feel myself age literally. USE THE FUCKING GAS PEDDLE NUMB NUTS.

FUCK YOU to the greasy shit who thought my car was the perfect thing to lean up against and have a smoke. I don't recall the side of my car having a sign that read "Please lean you're slimy ass against this car and be a complete douche bag because you think you're cool. You didn't even fucking bother to move when I showed up to drive away. So since you're too fucking cool to move I simply jumped in and drove away and laughed my fucking ass off when you fell ass first into the street, especially because it happened right in front of a bunch of girls you were checking out. Yeah you're fucking cool asshole next time use a wall to lean up against.

FUCK YOU to the fucker with the little dog who let it yap and bark like it was being fed into a meat grinder. Really you don't know how to discipline you're dog. I COULD HEAR YOU FROM THE 5TH FLOOR. Next time you're dog causes shit, instead of coddling it like a kid put it down and discipline it. Then maybe you won't drive everyone on 5 fucking floors nuts with you're bullshit.

FUCK YOU to the creepy cluster fuck who was giving me the eyeball while walking past me. Do I look like a fucking alien? Is there a third eye growing out of my forehead? If the answer to those is no then don't look at me like I am. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you, you looked at me like you had a pickle shoved up your ass.

And last but not least FUCK YOU to Telus one of the local cell phone providers here. I go in to get a new phone for a friend of mine and you fuck me over, first you waste my time and then you tell me you can't do shit for me. What the hell are you paid for exactly, you sure as fuck am not eye candy so that narrows down what your skill set is. As of today you are officially on my list of the most useless human being alive, congratulations fuck stick, this honour entitles you to fuck all and to be laughed at on a regular basis.

That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

Aki Kawamura

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And Now Another Edition Of Fuck You Friday

So here we are it's another Friday night, and the world is all fucking magical and elves are dancing and singing.....yeah fuck that shit I want napalm dropped on those little bastards from a fighter jet. It's been a busy week for this wolf, courses all manner of shit, some good, some bad, some well just meh. But I know I couldn't leave all my loyal STALKERS followers (all 2 of you) alone and scared, so here is another post to keep you going.

So here we go:

Fuck you to the fucking seagull who thought my head would be an excellent target to shit on. I was covered all over the place with bird shit that look like moldy milk and half chewed. Thanks you fucking shit hawk I really love being covered in you're fucking ass droppings. If you EVER land where I can catch you I'll hold you down and shit on you to give you a taste of what it feels like you feathered fuck.

Fuck you to the fat American family from the middle of nowhere Alabama who thought me being covered in shit was funny. 10 more feet ass wipes....10 more feet and you your fat cow of a wife, and you're little shit 14 year old offspring would be wearing it. By the way those ice cream bars that were dripping down your shirts arn't going to make you skinny.

Fuck you to the creepy weirdo on the mountain bike who started to sing to me about how you and you're brother have a million dollars in the bank. Let's get it clear asshole 1. I doubt your a millionaire 2. You smelled like piss and cheap booze 3. If you had a million dollars I don't give a rat's ass 4. Leave me the fuck alone.

Fuck you to the asshole who ran a red light and almost ran me over. Get you're head out of you're ass numb nuts. You missed me by an inch and you yell at me you shit stain, and you're confused why I wanted to punch you in the face..............good job dumb ass.

Fuck you to the three stuck up bitches who couldn't move one fucking foot over so I could get past them when I went for my last run. I know you saw me coming, I know you heard me say "Excuse me please", and you knew I had no fucking place to go but along the edge. But no you didn't move over so I had to otherwise I would have plowed right into you're stupid asses. In doing so I twisted my knee. Have you ever had a knee injury bitches, it's not fun.........I hope you get herpes.

Fuck you HST (Harmonized Sales Tax) which the province just brought in. My last grocery bill went up 20 bucks. I hope you plan on doing something useful with the money like...............anything but hookers and blow you crooked greedy shits.

And last but not least Fuck you to google keywords, are you fucking serious that people use the term "DON'T TURN THIS RAPE INTO A MURDER" to find my blog, really...wow or how bout "VANCOUVER GAY ESCORTS" what the fuck kind of game are you playing with me Google? Do I have to smack a search engine?

So that sums it up for this weeks Fuck you Friday, and now go make me a sandwich.

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Beyonce

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