Fuck You Friday On Sunday

Okay so I know I normally do my fuck yous for the week on Friday, but there have been some things that have prevented me from doing so, meh fuck it better late then never I always say. On another and completely different note I hope to have a couple new videos for you guys in a week or two.

First and foremost FUCK YOU to the Asian woman who was practically dry humping the fucking elevator button while yammering away on her cell phone. Okay fucker you stand right in front of the elevator button and fucking bitch in Chinese (I think it was Chinese) about who the fuck knows what to who the fuck cares, but the whole time the elevator's not coming.........why you ask BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T PUSH THE FUCKING BUTTON. So I take the initiative and reach around her to push it, only to have her give me dirty looks like I was going grab her, sorry but I don't plan on wasting my fucking life away while you wait to figure out why the fuck the elevator isn't coming.

FUCK YOU to the slow ass fuckers in the parking garage who couldn't figure out what the fuck they were doing and were driving slower. Really it's a fucking parking lot, here let me break it down on what you need to do. 1. you drive you're sorry ass around until you find a spot to park. 2. YOU FUCKING PARK THE FUCKING CAR. You don't sit in the middle of the way and block it for everyone, and you don't drive so fucking slow I can feel myself age literally. USE THE FUCKING GAS PEDDLE NUMB NUTS.

FUCK YOU to the greasy shit who thought my car was the perfect thing to lean up against and have a smoke. I don't recall the side of my car having a sign that read "Please lean you're slimy ass against this car and be a complete douche bag because you think you're cool. You didn't even fucking bother to move when I showed up to drive away. So since you're too fucking cool to move I simply jumped in and drove away and laughed my fucking ass off when you fell ass first into the street, especially because it happened right in front of a bunch of girls you were checking out. Yeah you're fucking cool asshole next time use a wall to lean up against.

FUCK YOU to the fucker with the little dog who let it yap and bark like it was being fed into a meat grinder. Really you don't know how to discipline you're dog. I COULD HEAR YOU FROM THE 5TH FLOOR. Next time you're dog causes shit, instead of coddling it like a kid put it down and discipline it. Then maybe you won't drive everyone on 5 fucking floors nuts with you're bullshit.

FUCK YOU to the creepy cluster fuck who was giving me the eyeball while walking past me. Do I look like a fucking alien? Is there a third eye growing out of my forehead? If the answer to those is no then don't look at me like I am. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you, you looked at me like you had a pickle shoved up your ass.

And last but not least FUCK YOU to Telus one of the local cell phone providers here. I go in to get a new phone for a friend of mine and you fuck me over, first you waste my time and then you tell me you can't do shit for me. What the hell are you paid for exactly, you sure as fuck am not eye candy so that narrows down what your skill set is. As of today you are officially on my list of the most useless human being alive, congratulations fuck stick, this honour entitles you to fuck all and to be laughed at on a regular basis.

That is all

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Aki Kawamura

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Pretentious Fucks

Okay I'm confused, now last time I checked I don't go out and act like a total perv or an asshole. I certainly don't go around in a trench coat and flash women and farm animals. And I certainly don't try to use lame cheesy pick up lines like "Don't turn this rape into a murder" or "You got a purdy mouth". So why the fuck is it that many of the women that I've run into in Vancouver have treated me like the anti-Christ?
This is what confuses me, I can be out doing whatever, such as taking my dogs out for a walk, getting groceries, or going for a run along the sea-wall, and at some point during this I either get dirty looks or in several cases get looked up and down and then get comments such as "Ewww" or "Ughhh as if"...........WHAT THE FUCK.

Did I do something that I'm not aware of? Do I stink or something, I don't fucking get it. I mind my own business, I don't bother people, and yet I get this bullshit treatment. I know that I'm not filthy fucking rich, and that I look like I've come in second place in a shovel fighting contest, but still I'm not being an asshole, so what the fuck gives? Is it because many people out here tend to lean towards being a selfish, money obsessed douche bag (I can't speak for the whole city but it seems that way in metro Vancouver) Is it because of the Hollywood influence with all the movies and shows that are shot out here where if you have a pimple you're considered fat and a diseased leper.

If that's the case, well I'm fucking sorry. I'm fucking sorry that I can't afford a Ferrari or other over priced sports car. I'm sorry that I don't own a giant fucking yacht that's parked out in the marina all year long and costs more to clean it's shitter then to buy a new SUV. I'm sorry that I don't have a fucking stock portfolio that you pay a broker or accountant to manage for you because you're too fucking stupid to do it yourself. And I'm sorry that my appearance isn't up to you're impossible to reach standards.

To those douche canoes out there who act like that GO FUCK YOURSELF AND PLAY IN TRAFFIC. You don't have to like me, shit yo don't to even acknowledge that I even exist, but you sure as fuck don't have the right to make shitty comments to me or when you think I can't hear you. I'm not perfect but at least I'm not a two faced pretentious asshole.
 
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Jessica Biel

 
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