Fucking Printers, Nukes, And I Think I'm Losing My Fucking Mind

Today I decided to do up some simple business cards for the new website I've been a fucking slave to happily working on for the last little while which is why I haven't been posting on here as much as before. It started out simple enough I bought some fancy ass guaranteed not to smudge if I look at it the wrong fucking way type of paper, the type that what's his name from American Psycho would have approved of before running around naked and hacking people up with an axe (seems like a logical idea to me)

The reason for making these cards is because I could be going to some sort of meet and greet social networking type thing, and apparently theres a guy who knows his shit when it comes to web design, something I'm still trying to figure the fuck out. Not that I'm a fucking ass clown when it comes to computers and Internet shit and all that fancy stuff either, I can cut and paste like a motherfucker in a throw down.

So I get the paper find a nice free card creating site, I don't opt for the fuzzy pink fucking kitten picture that was the standard logo for the card type that I picked. I mean what the fuck kittens.......me.....not fucking happening. Instead I go for my sites new logo (pictured above in all its glory)

It comes time to print (oh fucking joy) but does it print looking all bad ass and razor like...NOPE IT'S A CLUSTER FUCK TO THE SECOND DEGREE. I print again calmly (sorta) and again a cluster fuck of epic proportions. So considering that I've spent most of the last couple of weeks up almost 24 hours a day working on, correcting, posting, and researching for this site I LOST MY SHIT. In full metal jacket style there I am going all drill Sergeant (I was only a corporal....and why the fuck am I typing all this shit in these bracket things, what the fuck is with that? Fucked if I know, fuck I think I'm talking to myself and typing it as well as answering myself..........meh fuck it)

Any who I am fucking screaming at this piece of plastic HP dog shit telling it I'm going to dry smash it into fucking oblivion and that if it had a neck I would be shitting down it.

Finally after a few minutes of this I had a realisation, I used the wrong program which is why the paper is all fucked up like a red headed step child. So I got the cards finally looking good to go.........Not sure why I told you all about that, it's not like it's all that important.....ahhh fuck it I'm losing it again.

Oh yeah I almost forgot I found this nifty little widget that lets you see what the blast radius of a nuclear warhead will be in any city on Earth, and it's kinda like Google maps. So you can find directions and avoid fallout, not a bad deal me thinks, here it is if you want to try it out, it's at the bottom of this post below the video. For some reason I keep having this urge when using it to nuke New York, not sure why......meh fuck it.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Nina Dobrev

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Fuck You Friday On Sunday

Okay so I know I normally do my fuck yous for the week on Friday, but there have been some things that have prevented me from doing so, meh fuck it better late then never I always say. On another and completely different note I hope to have a couple new videos for you guys in a week or two.

First and foremost FUCK YOU to the Asian woman who was practically dry humping the fucking elevator button while yammering away on her cell phone. Okay fucker you stand right in front of the elevator button and fucking bitch in Chinese (I think it was Chinese) about who the fuck knows what to who the fuck cares, but the whole time the elevator's not coming.........why you ask BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T PUSH THE FUCKING BUTTON. So I take the initiative and reach around her to push it, only to have her give me dirty looks like I was going grab her, sorry but I don't plan on wasting my fucking life away while you wait to figure out why the fuck the elevator isn't coming.

FUCK YOU to the slow ass fuckers in the parking garage who couldn't figure out what the fuck they were doing and were driving slower. Really it's a fucking parking lot, here let me break it down on what you need to do. 1. you drive you're sorry ass around until you find a spot to park. 2. YOU FUCKING PARK THE FUCKING CAR. You don't sit in the middle of the way and block it for everyone, and you don't drive so fucking slow I can feel myself age literally. USE THE FUCKING GAS PEDDLE NUMB NUTS.

FUCK YOU to the greasy shit who thought my car was the perfect thing to lean up against and have a smoke. I don't recall the side of my car having a sign that read "Please lean you're slimy ass against this car and be a complete douche bag because you think you're cool. You didn't even fucking bother to move when I showed up to drive away. So since you're too fucking cool to move I simply jumped in and drove away and laughed my fucking ass off when you fell ass first into the street, especially because it happened right in front of a bunch of girls you were checking out. Yeah you're fucking cool asshole next time use a wall to lean up against.

FUCK YOU to the fucker with the little dog who let it yap and bark like it was being fed into a meat grinder. Really you don't know how to discipline you're dog. I COULD HEAR YOU FROM THE 5TH FLOOR. Next time you're dog causes shit, instead of coddling it like a kid put it down and discipline it. Then maybe you won't drive everyone on 5 fucking floors nuts with you're bullshit.

FUCK YOU to the creepy cluster fuck who was giving me the eyeball while walking past me. Do I look like a fucking alien? Is there a third eye growing out of my forehead? If the answer to those is no then don't look at me like I am. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you, you looked at me like you had a pickle shoved up your ass.

And last but not least FUCK YOU to Telus one of the local cell phone providers here. I go in to get a new phone for a friend of mine and you fuck me over, first you waste my time and then you tell me you can't do shit for me. What the hell are you paid for exactly, you sure as fuck am not eye candy so that narrows down what your skill set is. As of today you are officially on my list of the most useless human being alive, congratulations fuck stick, this honour entitles you to fuck all and to be laughed at on a regular basis.

That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

Aki Kawamura

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Fuck You......errrrr Fawk You Friday....No Definitely Fuck You Friday

It’s Friday, (well it will be in a few hours after I write this post it will be) and it’s time for another Fawk You Friday. Now if you haven’t linked up got to BOOBIES BABIES AND A BLOG get you’re punk ass a button, link up and let the good times roll.

Now saying fawk or any other non swearing version of fuck just doesn’t feel right to me, after all I have standards to maintain here. I mean would you seriously take me fucking seriously if I used words like curses, or you’re a big dumb poopy head instead of fuck you, and you’re a shit turbine…………yeah me thinks not. So I’m going to tweak the rules just a tiny bit and use the proper word instead.

So now that we have that all cleared up here are my fuck you’s for the week.

FUCK YOU Lucky Charms you’re magically delicious my ass

FUCK YOU to the stuck up bitches in Vancouver who stick their noses up at me like I’m dirt because I don’t have enough money or look like Brad Pitt circa Interview With The Vampire. Get a clue bitches you’re just a gold digging whore and you’re not even that attractive anyway.

FUCK YOU To the creeper, who lives near my friend’s apartment on a higher floor and spies on her and her boyfriend, get your own fucking life asshole.

FUCK YOU Kim Jong Il, let’s be honest the U.S and South Korea can do whatever the fuck they want in South Korea and you can’t do shit about it. By the way you look like a fat midget transvestite….just thought you should know.

FUCK YOU Tourists who can’t move the fuck out of the center of the fucking sidewalk so others can walk past you. Yes you’re fat slow and old, THAT’S NO FUCKING EXCUSE.

FUCK YOU to recent release of all the shitty movies at Blockbuster for this week. Really you can’t bring something worth renting into the store, is it that hard.

FUCK YOU To the 18 year old perfectly healthy kid begging for change. Are you fucking kidding me, are you too good to work at McDonald’s. I don’t care what you’re excuse is, you can find a job even if it’s crappy pay and work yourself up to something better. Or better yet join the military if you can’t find work. Oh but wait that would be work then, and you’d rather be a mooch keeping the sidewalk warm with your lazy ass. Perhaps you could find a rewarding career giving blow jobs beside a dumpster for crack.

FUCK YOU To the guy in the black Audi yelling away on his cell phone while the top is down and you’re blasting boy band music. Try turning down the stereo and talk normally into you’re fucking phone. But wait isn’t using a cell phone and driving illegal in B.C, why yes it is. So stop fucking doing it ass tard.

FUCK YOU To the midgets who refuse to put the lotion on its skin……..yeah you know who you are you little bastard.

FUCK YOU To the fat bastard at White Spot for yelling at the waitress because you’re too fat to see your own dick. It’s not her fault you’re pathetic, she’s just doing her job asshole.

FUCK YOU To everybody who gives me the evil eye when my dogs have to pee outside. What you’ve never seen a dog take a piss before, it’s what they do outside fucker it’s called marking their territory. How bout next time I let them piss on you instead.

And last but not least and for no particular reason FUCK YOU Buck Rogers.

There I have said my peace and I have to admit I feel much better for doing so. Remember to go link up, the button is on my sidebar. Grab a button and link up.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Morena Baccarin

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