Word Mashing

It seems like everything is speeding up, I dunno perhaps it's old age setting in for me and I'm too fucking slow to keep up ( I did notice some of the hair on my chin is now grey.....on my chin of all places what the fuck is this mickey mouse shit? )  Anyways because things seem to be speeding up the attention spans of people are getting shorter. So short in fact that I've noticed more and more that people are combining words to form new ones to save that whole precious millisecond of time that they could have used for something else. Perhaps they want to squeeze an extra little sip of whatever the fuck it is their drinking, or perhaps they noticed some hot girl across the room with big boobies and they want that extra millisecond to undress them with their eyes ( can't say I blame them for that one )

So I thought I'd share some of these mash up's that I've heard around here, starting with the annoying ones

1. Chillax (chill + relax)

Easily one of the most irritating things a human being can say to another human or human like being. Seriously it sounds like some kind of medication to relieve constipation. "Here Timmy take some Chillax and you'll be shitting buckets in an hour". Chillax may relieve constipation in only some patients. Side effects may include dizziness, dry mouth, ulcers, burning pee, brain damage, cancer, zombies, ass hair, and the urge to act like a complete fucking ass clown. Consult you're family doctor or the guy selling it illegally from a van before using it. If some ass nugget tells me to chillax I will punch them in the eye.

2. Swhore (slut + whore)

Really it's not bad enough to call someone either one of these terms but you have to combine them. True you get points for using you're imagination, but for fucks sake this one just sounds stupid.

3. Swass (sweaty + ass)

Okay this one could serve a practical purpose. Say if you will that you're at a fine dining establishment and you don't want to announce to the world that you're ass is sweaty.......I mean nobody likes a sweaty ass after all. Plus using swass has a semi sophisticated manner to it, by sophisticated I mean it's like changing the channel from Jerry Springer to Maury Povich for one of his "You're not the father" episodes. You know the one where someone who slept with an entire football team is accusing one guy of being the dad. And the DNA results are in and YOU'RE NOT THE FATHER. At which point the guy does a touch down dance and shouts " I told you so " while the woman starts crying...........yeah isn't T.V great.

4. Radtastic (radical + fantastic)

Does anyone actually use this one anymore who isn't stuck in 1994?

5. Refuckulate (recalculate + fuck)

I love this word even though it's technically not a word........YET. Frankly it should be, and whatever cock knockers over at Webster's dictionary disagree with me seriously need to refuckulate their way of thinking. I even love how this word rolls off the tongue like a fine French wine outside of Paris.

That's all for now anymore and it would be considered effort

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Liu

Yeah I know she was the random hottie of the last post, but c,mon it's Lucy Fucking Liu. Not to mention she's in tight tight leather, heels and firing a flamethrower. Do I really need to explain why this picture is here?

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By the way check out this persons Youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/6castor6 they have some really good videos there.

Rejoice Bitches It's Fuck You Friday Time

Now that I've said what I've had to say about the bullshit blog bashing from last night I think it's high time for another edition of Fuck You Friday (If you didn't get a chance to read it, it's the post below this one)

So with that being said here we go:

FUCK YOU to the bitch as McDonald's, why the fuck when I went to place my order you were talking to me like I'm some sort of robot...........DO I LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING TERMINATOR? Do I look like I have a neuro net processor in my cpu right beside the re-fuckulated flux capacitor? How about you try this, SPEAK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN FUCKING BEING.....just saying.

FUCK YOU to the piece of shit parking meter at the underground parking lot at Best Buy. Sure you're electronic and don't have a soul, but you're still a fucking douche bag. If you were alive I would cut you for taking my 2.25.

FUCK YOU to the three shit lickers on their bikes the other night when I went for a run who almost ran into me. First off assholes the fucking side closest to the rocks, not the side closest to the ocean is where fuck sticks like you ride you're bikes and roller blades. And second if you can't see shit because it was at night DON'T GO FOR A FUCKING BIKE RIDE, you're obviously have the night vision of a drunken hobo.

FUCK YOU to the old guy who wouldn't stop staring at me from across the street, seriously are you looking at the car or me.........the car fine that's one thing not that a 95 Honda Prelude is so fucking awesome, mind you it's like new and has under 50 thousand miles (no that's not rolled over either that's all it has). BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT OLD FUCKER. Now if you're staring at me creepy old dude I hate to break it to you, I'm not into dudes.

FUCK YOU to the bitch who referred to me to her friend as "Ewww look at that gross guy" when I took my dog for a walk a couple days ago. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Is it really necessary to refer to me as "That gross guy"....do I fucking look like Jabba the Hutt? I personally love how people who are extremely insecure have to make themselves feel better about themselves by running others down. By the way you look like you came in second place in a shovel fighting contest, so maybe you should take a good fucking look in the mirror before you run down others.

FUCK YOU to the guy who got caught breaking into cars at the nearby hotel where a friend of mine lives. You're probably the guy who broke into almost 100 cars last week, so I think it fucking hilarious that the cops busted you're pathetic ass and caught you in the act. I hope you get rapped in prison for years.

And last but not least FUCK YOU to the shitty toilet paper I bought because it was on sale, YOU FUCKING SUCK.

Okay now I feel better.......sorta.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Stacy Keibler

Random Video Of This Post

Time To Re-Fuckulate The Warp Drive.....It's Fuck You Friday Time

Today's edition of Fuck You Friday is brought to you by the letter F, as in Fuckstick, Fuckwad, and French toast

The Number 5 as in how many people I currently want to punch in the face at this very second

And The Colonel's own Kentucky Fried Chicken, because it's finger licking good

Also remember to get you're ass over to CB's blog for her newly renamed Blog Stalk Friday and Jena at Boobies, Babies and a Blog for her Fawk You Friday extravaganza, both their links are located on the side in case you're scratching you're head and asking yourself  "How do I get there?".....now you have no fucking excuse.

Now we shall begin:

FUCK YOU to the little crotch monkey's on the ferry earlier this week. Seriously it's 8 at fucking night and you're running around like little bastards on crack shouting and jumping all over the fucking place like the entire fucking ferry is you're personnel playground. If you were my kids (Thank fucking Zeus you're not) you would be sitting quietly in a chair reading a book, because if you got out of line I would probably feed you to the whales. And really is it necessary to slam into the bulk heads above people who are trying to sleep from having to drive all day.....LIKE I WAS YOU BASTARD.

FUCK YOU to the so called parents of these little crotch monkey's WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU AND WHY IN THE NAME OF FUCK WHERE YOU NOT DISCIPLINING YOU'RE FUCKING CHILDREN. Do you seriously think that the 150 other people on the boat really enjoyed listening to your kids scream for an hour and a half ferry ride? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no I and they were not fucking amused by you're lack of parenting skills because you were too busy stuffing you're fat ass in the cafeteria with fries and gravy. GET A GRIP ON YOU'RE FUCKING KIDS ASSHOLE

This one doesn't involve me but I think it's still valid

FUCK YOU to the dumb blond to busy sending a text to look to see if the light has changed before you step out into the sidewalk. That brilliant move almost got you hit by a car you stupid bitch, and then you swear and give him the finger.....WOW YOU'RE FUCKING DUMB. Get you're head out of you're ass woman the light was green, and green means he had the right of way, it also means keep your ass on the sidewalk (It was a very nice ass by the way but your still an idiot) Seriously though how fucking important was this text you were sending anyway, did it involve government secrets.......I highly fucking doubt it.

FUCK YOU to the jack ass who almost backed into my car yesterday, are you fucking stupid ass clown. When you back up you look over both sides in case a guy like me is behind you because I thought you were turning into Safeway not ding some bullshit half ass U-turn.

FUCK YOU to the bag of donkey shit who can't figure out that when the intersection is full and the light is green doesn't mean that you drive you're fucking car into the middle of the fucking mess. Do you know what happens when you and other cock jawed ass lickers pull that crap.........THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERSECTION GETS BLOCKED UP, THIS MEANS YOU'RE SORRY ASS IS GOING NOWHERE FAST. On a completely different note... you're BMW is a piece of shit.

So there it is kiddies this weeks FUCK YOU FRIDAY.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Claire Danes

Random Video Of This Post