Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Justin Bieber Your A Limp Dick Raging Homosexual And Other Famous People I Want To Tell Off Part 3

So many ass clowns so few words, It's time once again for me to tell you what I would love to say to the faces of famous people who piss me off with their bullshit antics and shenanigans. To see part 1 and part 2 click on the links.

1. The Cast Of Jersey Shore

If there was ever a fucking poster child for abortion it's this bunch of orange fuck tards. What the fuck is wrong with you people. I mean seriously here's your life story, some crack whore shat you out, and now you drink and party and pass STD's around like their fucking Halloween candy. And for fucks sack lay off the fucking tanning your in your twenties and you look like your in your 40's. It's because of shit heads like you that I want to buy a gun, a bottle of vodka and fucking end it. The only good thing about you you fucking turds is that the aliens will never invade because they saw your show, thought we were all as fucking retarded as you are and didn't want to catch a raging case of crabs from Snooki. And by the way Snooki you look like a fucking bridge troll, do you eat small children off camera under an overpass.

2. Tom Cruise

What the fuck happened to you. You went from Tog Gun to Scientology and jumping around like a pogo stick was shoved up your ass. Its a shame really, I enjoyed many of your movies. Top Gun for instance was a favorite of mine as a kid. Taps, a lesser known movie starting George C. Scott another fine movie. Fuck even you as a one handed one eyed NAZI in Valkyrie wasn't half bad. But apart from that you sir a fucking douche canoe of epic proportions. Let me break this down for you.............THERE ARE NO FUCKING ALIENS HIDING BEHIND THE SUN TO SAVE YOUR SORRY ASS YOU FUCKING DICK. Smarten the fuck up...........DIET COKE.

3. President Barrack Obama

What the fuck is this bullshit you want to tax Canadians who come to the U.S via air or sea, are you sniffing airplane glue you fucking twit. Let me see, now I'm not a financial fucking analyst who can refuckulate taxes like a motherfucker, but it doesn't seem like a smart idea to tax a country that provides so much money to begin with. That's like being a regular at a restaurant only to get charged an additional fee just because your a regular customer. Yeah your fucking smart numb nuts. If that's your best plan for getting the U.S out of it's current financial troubles you need to have you ass booted out of office faster then a fat kid running after an ice cream truck.

4. Keisha

Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck cares? Please fuck off now........I'll give you a dollar.

5. Ben Mulroney (Son of former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and host of ETalk daily)

You metro sexual bitch, I want to slap you in the face until you cry and pee yourself. First I hate your fucking dad for creating the GST (Government Sales Tax) and the fucking fiasco that was the free trade agreement. Yeah we became a stronger country out of it, but we got fucked hard in the process. For that shit I'm holding you personally responsible. Also I fucking hate your bullshit fake fucking smile that you plaster all over Canadian T.V, you fucking make me want to puke you fake bitch. Please do me a favour and see how many freight trains you can stop with your face.

6. Steven Tyler

Remind me If I ever see you and I have a teenage daughter to keep her the fuck away from you, your a fucking creepy perv. Seriously is that the only reason why you became a judge on American Idol, funny how the age limit dropped a couple years when you showed up, coincidence me thinks not. Sure you fronted Aerosmith which I think is a kick ass band, but your fucking ancient don't perv on teens it's fucking gross. Seriously you should fucking be watching reruns of Matlock and getting excited over a game of gin rummy not drooling over a 16 year old you fucking pervert. Can you even get it up anyway? You know what don't answer that the thought is disturbing enough in itself.

7. Ryan Seacrest

And speaking of American Idol you fucking shit eating grinning ass wipe. You just had to create all those other fucking visual disasters called reality T.V. You just had to fucking create a reality show around those oxygen thieves the Kardashians or however the fuck you spell their name. I would punch you in the throat but I don't want your panty waste germs on my hand. So instead I'd rather just spit on you because it's more degrading.

That's it for this one I would bitch out more but I need a sandwich and I think I have to poop.

Random Hotti Of This Post

Jessica Alba

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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Fuck You Yahoo Answers

One of the things I've been doing to try and get my website (The Razors Edge) noticed is using Yahoo answers. If you've never used this site or even heard of these fuckers here's how it works.

You answer or ask questions on whatever topic. Every time you answer a question you get two points. If they choose your answer as the best answer you get an additional ten points, I know fucking exciting shit eh? The more points means you go up in level and can answer more questions. It also means that if your answers are chosen to be the best answer any link you use as your source will be displayed at the top for everyone who looks up that question or find it's online. Basically this gives you back links to your site, more links more traffic and all that wonderful stuff.

The other day when looking for some easy points I came across this question "Facebook is simply crap.... Do you agree?" So I answered, fuck it it's an easy two points I figured and it's not like I had anything better to do.

Today though I got a nice little email from the assholes at Yahoo telling me my answer violated their terms and I would be deducted ten points for doing so. My answer to the question was this;

"The only thing I see that's crap is your grammar. Seriously the slang makes it harder to read"

This is because the little fuck face who wrote the question couldn't even spell words properly and used some type of fucking ghetto slang making himself (I'm assuming it's a he but who the fuck knows these days) look like a complete fucking retard. I think my answer was pretty nice considering what I should has said was something like this;

"Hey fuck stick learn to fucking spell and form a proper fucking sentence you ass clown. What's the matter did you snort too much fucking coke, or were you two busy giving hobo's hand jobs behind a dumpster and had to type with one one. How about you wake the fuck you, read a book or two and stop being such a fucking oxygen thief"

And as for the soft cock ass pirates at Yahoo......FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF. How about you screen those who post questions that make them look even more fucking stupid then what they are and give me bonus points for pointing out the fact. How about you also drop the politically friendly, nobody can say shit to anyone who might cry and piss themselves fucking attitude. Sure this little bitch is probably 14 and wants to be all cool by thinking he's a gansta, but seriously fuck off. I'm still going to use Yahoo answers because I do get some good traffic from that site, but fuck me do they have to be so fucking sensitive.

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Emily Deschanel

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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Wolfman What Have You Done (New Video)

For my newest video I wanted to do something with werewolves. Not the gay ass Twilight shit either, fucking sparkly fucking vampires that prance in the forest.... FUCK THAT SHIT. So for this video I chose to use The Wolfman, staring Benicio Del Toro (not sure if I spelt his name right) Emily Blunt, and Sir Anthony Hopkins (that's right he's a knight because he's that fucking awesome).

Anyways for this video I was originally going to use some Rammstein for the music, in particular the song du riechst so gut meaning you smell so good which is one of my favorite videos from that band (I put it on this post as well). I scrapped it though and went with the song What Have You Done Now by the band Within Temptation. I couldn't upload any of their videos for some reason but definitely check them out, of course it doesn't hurt that the lead singer is pretty fucking hot.

All that being said check out the video, hope you like it and let me know what you think.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Kate Mara

Again My video is banned in Germany for now, I guess the Hoff is still angry at me

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Are You Fucking Kidding Me

The other day while I was out walking my dog I noticed some punk ass little fuck running from the local grocery store. It was pretty clear this shit smear stole something, unfortunately before I could get to him he was long gone.

But this post isn't about how much thieves piss me off, it's about the so called security guard companies that are in a word a joke.

Following this punk was an extremely overweight over the hill man who didn't even speak English. He had no (at least that I could) cell phone or radio or even a fucking paper cup to call anyone for help. Does anyone else notice the problem here? How the fuck can a security company properly safe guard a business, keep potential thieves out, and customers safe when they hire fat old people who don't even have a decent grasp of the English language?

But then again I shouldn't be surprised because these companies not only pay shit wages, but offer almost nothing in the way of training. I can't speak for the rest of the country but here in Vancouver the highest wage I've seen is between 13 to 15 dollars. Basic security training is also only a week of classroom activity, it involves no training when it comes to self defence, and any training in terms of dealing with hostile individuals is stuck at what if scenarios that leave you feeling pretty much fucked.

I took their training a few months back and I can tell you from first hand experience that I was the only guy in the room who had a fucking clue how to handle someone who could be dangerous or armed. Of all those in attendance only myself and one other had a solid grasp of English. The rest had broken English and were pretty much fresh of the boat immigrants. No before you go calling me a fucking racist or any of that shit, I'm not, but think about this long and hard. If you were partnered with someone who barley understood you and you were in trouble or trying to pass directions how effective do you think they'll be. Simply put they won't, and frankly it's a fucking miracle that so far no one has been killed.

So here's my two cents on what I think is needed to pull this industry out of it's fucking ass.

1. Stop hiring people fresh off the boat who don't know English. Concentrate on getting people with previous military or police experience, or those with the right mind set.

2. When you pay shit wages you get shit results, so bump up the wages to at least 18 an hour to start.

3. Actually have decent training courses that includes some basic self defence training, and provides training that will actually fucking prepare people to handle things when the shit hits the fan.

4. Now I know guns will probably get more people in shit then without but fucking give them something other then sweaty used slash resistant gloves that are over ten fucking years old and full of holes and won't stop a wet fart let alone a knife or needle. How about a baton or maybe some fucking ninja stars. Fuck I could defend myself better with a rotten fucking potato then what these guys get.

Of course those fuckers won't listen to anything I would have to say and would rather keep things the way they are and pay people shit and not give a flying fuck, but hey what the fuck do I know.

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Friday, February 4, 2011

Dating Sites

I'm just going to come right out and say I don't get some of the shit that goes on in dating sites. Now don't get me wrong I think there actually a good thing, especially when your socially awkward such as myself. It's a good way to break the ice, and if you don't like the fucker or fuckette it's a fucking cinch to block and ignore them. But there is some shit on there that pisses me off, so I thought I'd make a list to display my frustration. Hey who says I don't share.

1. Fucking avatar pics of flowers and shit

Is it so fucking much to see what the fuck you look like. Don't get me wrong those that tell you they'll show you theirs if you show them yours is pretty smart. Apart from that who the fuck wants to see some stupid fucking flowers, or a fucking happy kitten. Fuck off with that shit, I want to be able (as I'm sure they would want to) be able to see who I could be meeting. You can tell a lot from a picture such as how they present themselves, if they practice good hygiene, if they have all their teeth. You can't tell a fucking thing from a pic of a sunset, fuck the sunset show me your face.

2. A few extra pounds translation your Jabba the fucking Hutt

Okay this one really pisses me off. Be fucking honest about your weight, I don't give a shit if you're 400 pounds just let me know so that if a meet up does happen I don't go storming out because you told me a load of bullshit. I know people are sensitive about how much they weigh, I also know very well how it feels because I was damn near 300 lbs at one point and was very fucking embarrassed by that, so I understand that. But isn't better to be honest right off the bat?

3. Do you drink, smoke, shoot crack, eat small children.........prefer not to say

I fucking love these questions because when you say "prefer not to say" or something along those lines your basically admitting that you do. Fuck why else would deny it if your trying to hide the fact that you do, use your fucking melon.

4. Copy and paste

What's fucking worse that a fucking avatar of a bunny........a pic of a different person all together. For fucks sake do you really think that pic of Cindy Crawford from 1996 looks anything like your bridge troll ass. I had this happen once when I went to meet this girl who claimed to be 5'5 shoulder length blond hair, and a fit physic. Only to discover she was 5'3, was as fucking wide as tall, and looked like a hobbit.

I know there are guys who pull this shit too and frankly it's fucking embarrassing all the way around.

5. Your pic is from 1984

I'm almost fucking positive that unless you've been in cyrogenic suspended anifuckingmation since that year and you just woke up that you look nothing like that faded grad pic you posted. Camera's are fucking cheap, buy one and use a new picture.

6. Stalkers

I've only had this happen a couple times when I've used these sites in the past, though I'm sure this happens to a lot to women from creepy guys. One of the times I kept getting constant message on the site (I never gave me email thank fuck) that would go all day long. After a couple days it went from questions like "Do you want to meet so we can hook up" to "I'm going to cut out your eyes out with a knife". Needless to say that account was deactivated pretty dam quick. The second time was a year later and this woman actually flew from Ontario to Edmonton to try to find me. She got my number (which I never gave her) and started calling my fucking apartment telling me how she was going to kill me........oh what fun. Then silence for a week then she calls back and demands I buy her a plane ticket back to Ontario.....yeah fuck that.

So to the fucking creepy Fatal Attraction fucking wannabes before you go psycho fuck off.

And that's all I have to say on that.

Random Hottie Of This Post
Sharon Den Adel

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