SPAM

When I posted my latest video I got a lovely spam comment from a site called Boycott American Women (if your just dying to see the link it's in the comments of my last post, you can't miss it it's fucking huge). Naturally I had to check this site out just to see what the fuck is going on, and after a very short look through found that it is complete fucking garbage like what I thought it would be.

Now I do think there is a growing gender gap between males and females in terms of schooling, and the stats are showing that young males are being let down by the school system, but that's a little off topic.

Anyways this site is packed full of angry whining little bitches who call themselves men going on about how American woman are lazy, bitch a lot, demand everything, angry, and ungrateful and that women from places such as Mexico or third world countries are better. Oh and lets not forget the radical feminist lesbian agenda to control and hate on all men because all men are dogs and scum and all manner of shit.....right???? WRONG!!!

Personally I find it fucking amusing that these guys bitch and whine and bash American women and yet don't look in the mirror to see what maybe their doing wrong. Did it ever occur to these limp cheese dicks, that perhaps playing 20 hours of World of Warcraft at a time and not even bothering to get their significant other some flowers isn't cool. Oh and they talk back, how dare the women folk talk back to the men, fuck me sideways. Perhaps they talk back because these ass clowns need to be because their too fucking stupid to figure it out the first time. Perhaps just perhaps if these so called men put some actual effort into it maybe they would be getting some instead of going online and crying like a fucking wimpy bitch.

Some were going off about how great women from other countries are because they don't talk back and do what they ask. Maybe that's because their cultures are stuck in the fucking stone age where women aren't even considered human fucking beings, and their quiet because they don't want to get beaten like how their mother was and is.

Personally I never liked door mats, I want someone with some spunk and who will call me on my shit when I fuck up. I want someone with a personality and an opinion and not afraid to speak their mind. As for these fucking douche bags who are stuck in the 1950's grow the fuck up, grow a fucking set, and if you don't like how things are then suck it the fuck up, fix it and soldier on.......fucking pussy's 

Random Hottie Of This Post

Emily Blunt

Random Video Of This Post

Fuck You's And Thank You's Of 2010

Being that it's both Friday and the last day of 2010 I wanted to take some time and give a special Fuck You Friday to those ass clowns who went that extra mile this year in being a complete douche bag

Fuck You Kim Jong Il what the fuck is your problem you needle dick ass clown. Didn't mommy and daddy give you enough attention as a child. No instead you have to take your issues and start throwing artillery shells at South Korea. It's bad enough your own people are starving to death and living in primitive conditions but you have to fuck up innocent people across the border too. I hope you fucking get eaten alive by a goat shit head.

Fuck You to all those in charge and who put profit instead of safety over at BP when you had that massive fucking shit show in the Gulf. Wow simply wow your fucking tards, thank you so much for fucking up the planet just that much more, it's great to see fairy fucks like you don't give a shit if the air we breath is poisoned, if the water is undrinkable, or if we all fucking die as long as you can buy a fucking mansion and retarded expensive cars.

Fuck You to Stephen Harper the current prime minister of Canada. I never liked you, I don't fucking trust you, and your face looks like a sock filled with smashed pigs assholes. I don't have anything to say to you other then fuck off eh.

Fuck You Justin Beiber are you shitty me that you now have collectible trading cards. Really as if your sissy bitch antics, pathetic as fuck excuse for a mustache, and singing voice that sounds like a 10 year old girl caught in a vice isn't enough. Why the fuck can't you be like other annoying fucking so called "celebrities" and just go away, preferable take a one way fucking trip to the sun. And by the way what the fuck are you anyway? I mean seriously are you suppose to be male, female, or something in between because I'm confused.

Fuck You to all the ignorant pole smokers I had to deal with this year in Vancouver. You bunch of shit smears should all take turns seeing how many cars you can stop with your face.

Fuck You to YouTube for banning my video tribute to Zombie Strippers. What the fuck is with that bullshit. Seriously I have one fucking video that finally gets almost 15 thousand hits, and was steadily going up, but no you had to fucking can it because it was sexually suggestive........what the flaming fuck? You seriously ban my video yet I can watch the entire fucking movie tits ass and all, and my video that has no nudity gets the shaft. Whoever made that call deserves a punch in the face.

And now for something different

I want to take a second and say to everyone who reads, follows, and comments on this blog THANK YOU. You guys are the shit and fucking rock. Thank you for giving me a reason to keep this blog going when I've considered canning it so many times in the past. Thank you for allowing me to vent and put up with my slightly twisted sense of things. I wish everyone the best for 2011.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Fergie

Random Video Of This Post

My Christmas Wish List

Ahh Christmas tis the season full of vacant stares, over spending, crowds, fruit cakes (Did you know fruit cakes can last over 100 years....seriously that's fucked up. I mean who the fuck wants to survive on fruit cake after the impending zombie apocalypse, that shit bungs you up).

But since it's Christmas and we all want presents I wanted to list off some of the things that I hope to see under the tree this holiday season. Santa if you're real and you happen to be reading this DON'T FUCK THIS UP LIKE YOU DID WHEN I WAS A KID AND SEND ME THAT STUPID ASS SWEATER WITH THE FUCKING REINDEER THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HAD DOWN SYNDROME ON IT. And who the fuck knits a sweater with puke green wool, what am I a fucking hobo?

And with that happy thought onto the list.

1. A tazer to zap every single cross eyed fucker who looks at me funny

2. A gold plated toilet seat just like the ones that those rich princes in places like Dubai get to crap on. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO SHIT ON A PRECIOUS METAL TOO ASSHOLES (Don't judge me)

3. Socks

4. Every single Clint Eastwood movie except The Bridges of Madison county, and the one with that annoying fucking monkey that would play dead...........fucking monkeys.

5. Lucy Liu......do I really need to explain why

6. Tear gas, trust me it ain't a party until everyone is chocking and hacking up a lung and gasping for air.

7. A new car, something simpler perhaps........like an Austin Martin like the one Sean Connery used back in his James Bond movie days with all the gadgets.

8. A 24 hour pass to bitch slap every stupid jack ass I run into without any repercussions.

9. A politician to admit that they are a greedy self centered asshole and that they don't or ever gave a fuck about the average tax payer on live T.V, followed by a randomly picked bunch of lucky winners to spit on them for an hour.

10. A new mouse pad. Mine is starting to split apart though I really like it because it has this pic of green leaves flowing in a soft summer breeze, it's very calming and made from recycled plastic.

11. For Mark Burnett to be hit by a fucking train. In case you don't know who this glue bag is, he's the guy who's pretty much responsible for the overwhelming tide of bullshit called reality T.V. This is the twinkle toed fuck who spearhead shoes like The Apprentice and Survivor.....need I say anymore.

12. Gummy bears........what they taste good fuck you.

That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

Eva Longoria

Random Video Of This Post

You Might Be A Douche Bag If.......

Douche bags, these fuckers are everywhere. From the grocery store to that run down adult video store where Carlos sells crack beside the dumpster in the alley (Carlos wanted me to tell you that on Tuesdays if you spend 100 dollars you get a 10 dollar gift coupon) Some of these fucking douche bags don't even realize that they are douche bags, and that is truly scary. So I thought I would put together a list of tell tale signs that either someone you know is a douche bag. Remember there is no cure for being a douche bag other then a swift back handed bitch slap (Repeat twice a day or as many times as required. You can also hit them in the face with a dirty sock full of pennies)

The Urban Dictionary defines a douche bag as :

Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker.

An example would be :

Rob:He kept hitting on my girlfriend at the party, he just wouldn't leave her alone!!



Sam: God, what a douche bag
 
Here are some of the signs :
 
If you think yelling above everyone else about how much money you have, or that you just made some big fucking financial deal makes you look like an all star YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're walking down the street and think it would be the fucking greatest idea in the worked to hork up snot and spit it on the ground right in front of someone YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you go into a building and instead of holding the door open for the person behind you FOR A WHOLE TWO FUCKING SECONDS, but instead let it slam in their face YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG COCK JAWS.

If you're one of those tweeny teenage fuck sticks who insist on giggling, throwing popcorn or in general being a loud mouthed little shit smear when people who used their own money NOT MOMMY AND DADDY'S to pay to watch that movie YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're too fucking lazy to use a turn signal but instead just cut everyone off and then wonder why somebody is flipping you off YOU ARE A STUPID DOUCHE BAG.

If you think it's a great idea to get drunk at you're buddies place and try to grab everyone's wife and girlfriends ass, you not only deserve a severe ass kicking YOU ARE ALSO A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're one of those lazy little shits who can't be bothered to pick up after you're dog who just left a nice fresh steamer in the middle of the sidewalk YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who never shuts up about themselves and thinks their the greatest human being in the entire history of the fucking universe YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who fucks another person in the ass and doesn't have the God damn common courtesy to give them a reach around YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who owns a monster sized fucking Doge Hemi quad cab, extra long box, no muffler, flames shooting off the side, sticker of Kalvin pissing on a Ford logo, and plastic balls dangling from the rear axle of you're truck to make up for you're shortfalls. And you drive that monster sized Doge Hemi like a fucking moron, and act like the road is you're personal fucking race track, and have no fucking respect for the thousands of other drivers, pedestrians, or anyone else on or near the road YUP YOU GUESSED IT YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.

 If you're one of those educated fucks who think that because you went to some fancy ass school that you're automatically better then anyone YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're from Toronto and not only think it's the center of the universe but think their hockey team the Toronto Maple Leafs are the greatest hockey team in the fucking universe FUCK I HATE YOU AND YES YOU ARE INDEED A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're too fucking lazy to get off your ass and make that sandwich you're fat ass is craving, but instead yell at you're significant other to make it for you YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

And last but not least :

If you are a puke piece of dog shit who insists on being as rude as humanly possible to others because you're life is a sad never ending misery parade and you secretly pray each day for death YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

Hope that clarified it for you, now you to can spot a douche bag.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Natalie Dormer

Random Video Of This Post

Did I Hassle The Hoff ???????????

I've mentioned this a post or two ago that my videos recently have all been banned in Germany. Ever since I started using Adobe instead of Windows movie maker all but one video has been completely banned in the Fatherland, for this I can only think of one logical reason.........I PISSED OFF THE HOFF.

To those of you younger ones who have no idea who I speak of I'm talking about David Fucking Hasselhoff, the guy who wore the wrangler jeans and big hair in the original Knight Rider series (The one with the talking car that wasn't Val Kilmer.......what a douche bag.) He was the guy with the hairy chest who was the mans man on Baywatch, the same show that made fellow canuck Pamela Hugetits Anderson (The one who sparked the whole celebrity sex tape thing). And in more recent history a former judge of America's Got Talent and has countless video's on YouTube of his drunken ramblings and eating floor burgers......mmmmm floor burger.

So to you Mr. Hasselhoff WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT? I don't get it why the hate? When have I bashed you, I don't think I've ever bashed you? I mean fuck dude I grew up on Knight Rider, and yeah I'll admit I watched the occasional episode of Baywatch......sure it was for the intro to watch the bouncing boobies, but hey what guy didn't get a kick out of that? Is it because you're singing sounds like a cat being raped by a chainsaw.....I can't help that you're music sucks and I think you even know that. I mean fuck I even had family fight for the Germans in World War 2 that shit has to count for something....right?

But I'm not the kind of guy to beg or plead, that's just not what I do, and if that's what you're hoping to hear to lift the ban you can get fucked. You may be " The Hoff " but I will fuck you up faster then a choir boy in prison who dropped the soap in the shower and has to run the gauntlet through the Aryan brotherhood. So lighten the fuck up and let the good German folk watch my videos.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Diane Kruger

Random Video Of This Post



And Because it had to be shown.......you know you want to see it.

Fuck You Friday And A New Award

Before I start this week's FUCK YOU FRIDAY I want to give a special shout out to Kelly and his blog Psycho Carnival for giving me the Lol Award, check out his blog if you're into funny twisted shit. If you're into lawn bowling or perhaps garden gnomes then this is not for you and you should promptly seek out someone to bitch slap you in the face until their hand hurts. Also being in the spirit of sharing I wanted to pass this nifty little nugget of an award to two blogs that I think are funnier then a moose dry humping a tourist, they are

Max Evel and his Underworld blog and the Dutchess of Dorkville and her drunken bathtub antics.

Now with all that taken care of here are my fuck yous for this week..........enjoy.

FUCK YOU to the asshole in the black BMW who almost ran me over AGAIN at the intersection of West Georgia and Denman Street. Really you can't drive without trying to send a fucking text message at the same time? And what the hell is with you turds in you're black BMW sports cars driving like giant douche bags....can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on, because it seems that every other day some ass clown in one of these cars wants to turn my ass into a hood ornament.

FUCK YOU to the senile old fucker who stopped in the middle of the parking lot and stared out into the great beyond while me and at least a half other people were either trying to enter or leave that parking lot. Stare all you want asshole you're not going to understand the universe any more then the rest of the talking fucking chimps on this little planet. How about you do us all a giant fucking favour AND PARK YOU'RE FUCKING CAR.

FUCK YOU to the greasy homeless hippie motherfucker who thought I was his personnel ATM. Really you looked younger then me, I'm not saying I'm old but fuck dude you're like what 18? First off why the fuck are you begging for change, you're not crippled, strung out on drugs, or have some kind of mental handicap other then being a complete fucking lazy ass. If you need money that fucking bad (which I'm sure you do because you smelt like piss and olives) the McDonald's just down the street is hiring. Who knows maybe you'll be promoted to the guy who operates the soft ice cream machine and you'll get to eat all the expired fish sandwiches. But don't come to me expecting a hand out, the only people I give hand outs to are the veterans selling poppy's for Remembrance day, or the guys with the bells looking for donations for the Salvation Army. And since you're neither of those FUCK OFF.

FUCK YOU to the creepy smelly fucker who ran up wanting to pet my dog. Do you honestly think I'm going to let some guy who smells like he shit himself touch my dog......FUCK THAT. My dog sleeps on my bed asshole and I don't want him to smell you.

FUCK YOU to the wobbly step ladder I was using to clean my windows. It's a long drop down those 12 stories onto the pavement and thanks to you're shitty made in whatever backward butt fuck third world country I dam near kissed that road. On the bright side I have been perfecting my swan dive technique.

FUCK YOU to Gordon Campbell B.C.'s now former premiere. Thank the gods you stepped down you are a joke, oh and thanks for forcing us to now pay the new HST (harmonized sales tax) A tax I might add is not only messed up on paper but has almost zero support from taxpayers, business, and a good deal of those in the government, yet you rammed this shit down our throats. Thank you for continuing the long standing tradition of fucking the province over and making it just that much harder for honest people to live here without having to work two or more jobs, and for making it more undesirable for business to establish themselves here. Awesome job douche bag, I personally love how you are now the most hated Canadian politician since Canada became a country, pat yourself on the back for that one.

FUCK YOU to those little green alien bastards. Why the fuck have you not come down to beam me up to take me to you're home world and declare me you're new leader. Do I have to send you a fucking resume too assholes...........and do you even have email? I mean yeah sure you invented interplanetary space travel, but you don't even have an x-box, I've heard all you have is fucking table tennis and checkers. WHO THE FUCK PLAYS CHECKERS THESE DAYS? 

And that's all I have to say on that.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Gillian Anderson

Random Video Of This Post

Fuck You Friday And A Brand Spankin New Video

First off before I do my FUCK YOU FRIDAY, I wanted to share my latest video. Unlike every other video I made this one I used Adobe Premier Pro (CS3 It's an older program but new to me fuckers) So this one is going to be very different from the previous ones. Anyways I hope you like it, and let me know what you think. Also if you have any ideas for ones leave me a comment below.



And now for FUCK YOU FRIDAY

FUCK YOU To the shit faced cock master who was moving in or out of the apartment building just down the street. You have a tiny fucking jeep, and a tiny fucking trailer with two bright red (but fucking tiny) kayaks on top. So how the fuck do you figure you can park you're tiny fucking jeep with you're tiny fucking trailer sideways on the fucking road. It's already narrow from cars parked NORMALLY on either side. Yet somehow you didn't get the memo to not park LIKE A COMPLETE FUCKING RETARD. You're wife or significant other stood on the sidewalk with a look like somebody used a cock hanger to give her a frontal lobotomy while you're sitting in you're tiny fucking jeep looking like you just raped the neighbors cat.

Here's a news flash ass wipe...ONLY EMERGENCY VEICHLES CAN PARK ANY FUCKING WAY THEY WANT BECAUSE THEIR SAVING THE LIVES OF PEOPLE NOWHERE NEAR AS STUPID AS YOU. And last I checked that tiny fucking jeep is not a fire truck. Oh you get extra dumb ass points for blocking three cars and a garbage truck while you contemplate you're place in the universe.

FUCK YOU to the taxi who rear ended a parked truck tonight. Wow they actually gave you a license, what the fuck were you doing to run into a parked veichle. It was a large pickup truck not a smart car how could you miss it? If you were talking to you're boyfriend on you're cell phone about designer shoes you deserve to have one shoved so far up you're ass you can taste it.

FUCK YOU to the creepy fat fucking mouth breather who kept giving me the evil eye. Yes I was walking behind you asshole, and unlike you I don't waddle like a fucking penguin. I also don't sound like walrus gasping for air when I breathe either. I also was not sneaking up on you to mug or kill you (though the thought did cross my mind) ,so if my walking spooked you TOO FUCKING BAD. And if you're going to stop to make sure I'm not a mugger then move the fuck out of the way so I can navigate around you're humongous ass, seriously it has it's own gravitational pull it's so large.

FUCK YOU to the security guard at the liquor store who was watching my every move. Do I really look like a thief because I'm not a smiling idiot? I came in to buy some beer and or wine, not start a conversation with somebody. Why don't you pay attention to the punk in the corner who looked like he was casing the place to steal something. Oh that's right you were too focused on me, the guy who isn't a thief or a punk but a guy just looking for some booze.

And on another note to you asshole I am twice you're fucking size, do you think that if I wanted to start some shit you would have a prayer.

FUCK YOU to the running asshole who spat on the sidewalk a few feet in front of me. Really you couldn't move over like 2 FUCKING FEET and spit over the railing into the ocean, is that so hard to do that you're scared you'll miss a beat on you're favorite Britney Spears song? No instead you have to share you're germs and spit on the ground where kids play, and other people walk as well as their dogs. I run too asshole and if I have to spit I make dam sure it doesn't go anywhere where somebody could step in it. It's called common courtesy jack ass look it up.

FUCK YOU to the other running asshole who was so important and in such a hurry that you couldn't say "excuse me" so I knew you were coming and could move over while my dog was sniffing another dog. No instead anus taster you have to shove you're way around me and almost step on my dog and almost trip on the other one's leash. Then you get all pissy because I shoved you out of the way into the railing and told you to go fuck yourself. Hey you started it asshole and I don't care how fast you can run I can run faster angry, especially when you call me a "fag" and flip me the bird from 30 feet away. Wow you really impressed me with that ass clown.

There I've said my piece for this Friday. It's been a rather stressful week so if it came off as angry well now you know why.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Elizibeth Banks

Fuck You Friday Time

It's time once again folks for another edition of FUCK YOU FRIDAY. Because I took a little time off last week this one is going to be a little long, I have to cover two weeks worth of things that pissed me off. And while the crazy fucked up antics kinda dwindled down to what could almost pass for a normal routine, there was still enough to fill buckets. So here we go.

FUCK YOU to the guy in the black Audi who loves to shove hampsters up his ass. You friggin moron when the light changes and people are trying to cross the cross walk (namely myself and a retired couple) look both ways before you speed into it. Do you know how fucking close you came to running into all three of us.....oh yeah that's right you were too busy being a stupid fuck and not pay attention to what was going on around you. Well cock jaws you missed me by about 3 or 4 inches, which is probably 2 inches bigger then you're dick you fucking idiot.

FUCK YOU to the one recruiter who thought a great opportunity for employment for me pays only 11 dollars an hour...........I AM NOT 15 YEARS OLD ASS NUGGET. I am 31 now I need to make more then that to be able to eat, live in my apartment, and maybe do something like buy a coffee once in awhile. 11 dollars an hour gives me just enough to either

A. Keep my apartment and starve, have no Internet or phone, or money for anything or
B. Live on the street and be able to eat

Fuck with those options I'll be able to buy a tent and live in Stanley Park, yeah fuck that.

FUCK YOU to the bitch with the IPod shoved up here ass and her face buried in a crackberry. You walk right down the middle of the sidewalk and then when you bump into someone because you're too out of it to realize you should be paying attention, you get snotty and tell me to watch where I'm going. Sorry but it's kinda fucking hard to get out of you're way you;re majesty when I'm surrounded by people and have nowhere to move, so eat a dick and pull you're IPod out of you're ass.

FUCK YOU to the countless waves of aggressive strung out pan handlers who think there's an ATM neon sign above my head. I am not you're fucking bank, I well never be you're fucking bank. And the fact that you're homeless is probably the result of you not saying no to drugs.

FUCK YOU to the skunk that almost sprayed me last week. Hey you furry little fuck why the hate? I was leaving you alone and you stick you're tail up at me like you're going to spray some of that foul shit at me. Fine you want to play that way, let's see you spray me with a boot up you're ass. You're not on the endangered species list so you're fair game asshole.

FUCK YOU to all the fuckers on that big fancy yacht in the harbour the other night when I was taking my dog out for a walk. Do I look like a fucking clown is that why you were laughing at me? Really you're adults so fucking act like it.

FUCK YOU to all the companies that say "We need people to fill positions" and then when I send you my resume I never hear back from you. I also love the fact that you're not only bumping up the required basic skills to get these positions with you're company, but that you're also dropping the wages for those positions as well. Let's see fuck sticks this time last year those jobs you posted were between 17 to 20 an hour, now 15 maximum if you have a degree and 5 years of fucking rocket science experience under you're belt, just so you work at some fish plant cutting fish.

FUCK YOU to the anal retentive sperm dumpster who was trying to have a conversation on you're phone and order some food, but couldn't make up you're mind so instead you just fucking shout business related shit. Last time I checked THE FUCKING UNIVERSE DOES NOT......... I REPEAT DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. Shut off you're phone, place you're order, and get the fuck out of my life.

FUCK YOU to the guy who tried to start up a conversation by saying "Wow it's sure wet out today?" when I was running this morning. Really??? No fucking shit Einstein, next you're going to tell me water is made from water......fucking brilliant. Let me make this simple for you to comprehend. If I wanted to talk to you I would have, when I'm running I don't want to talk to you, not unless I'm having a fucking heart attack. I know you were trying to be nice. But don't jump in front of me to talk to me because you feel lonely, let me be asshole.

FUCK YOU to the middle aged woman in the BMW SUV who gave me the evil eye while having her coffee while parked at Blockbuster. What do you think I'm going to steal you're car and possibly rape you or something? Do you want to be raped? Seriously I'm minding my own business returning some movies and you're staring at me like I just killed you're kids or something.

That's all for now have a great weekend. And remember duct tape is the handy man's secret weapon

Random Hottie Of This Post

Jenna Dewan

Random Video Of This Post

And Now Another Edition Of Fuck You Friday

It's that time once again folks, that special time when the weekend is about to begin. And that means it's timeto vent all the garbage and bullshit from this week. So without further delay here we go........enjoy.

FUCK YOU to the piss ant squirrel chipmunk or flying fucking monkey for shitting on me from a tree when I was going for a run. Because of you I am going to make it my mission to run each and every one of you little furry bastards over with a car, you fuckers are evil and I'm going to take great pleasure in squishing you're cute little faces under a car tire.

FUCK YOU to the mother with a screaming kid the other day when I went out for lunch. Really you're going to let you're kid scream at the top of their lungs while others are trying to enjoy their lunch and YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO A FUCKING THING ABOUT IT. Wow I can see you're really trying for that parent of the year award. Next time you're little demon spawn starts yelling shit in tongues TAKE THE FUCKER OUTSIDE AND SHUT HIM THE FUCK UP.

FUCK YOU to the creepy older guy who wouldn't stop starring at me when I was running yesterday. Do I fucking look like Pamela Anderson running on the beach slowly letting my blond hair flow in the breeze to the sound of the Baywatch theme song. NO I DO FUCKING NOT, nor will I be willing to undergo any type of operation to fulfill you're fantasy you sick fuck.

FUCK YOU to the crooked ass licker who parked so close to my car I almost couldn't get out. Are you that clueless that there is a car behind you, or do you just not give a flying fuck. If there wasn't a cop parked across the street I would have given that new BMW of yours some racing stripes with my car keys. And we all know racing stripes make any car faster.

FUCK YOU to the homeless guy who thought it would be a wonderful fucking idea to throw beer bottles at cars at 2 fucking am...............WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU'RE MAJOR MALFUNCTION NUMB NUTS, oh wait that's right you're homeless and probably coming of a crack high and are angry because you have to go back to panhandling and sucking cock behind a dumpster for spare change. Sucks to be you asshole.

FUCK YOU to the bitch who let the side door at the local mall almost hit me in the face. Really are you that fucking special that you can't hold a door for two precious seconds. My hands were full of groceries and they were fucking heavy, but instead you were too busy being a stuck up cow and too important to think about anyone else other then yourself.............I hope you get crabs and those crabs have herpes which means you'll have crabs and herpes and their all gonna laugh at you.

FUCK YOU to the spaced out shit turbine on roller blades reenacting you're favorite scenes from stars on ice in the middle of the fucking road. Really you want to dance, I'm cool with that BUT GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY OF TRAFFIC. Otherwise you can dance on somebodies windshield fucker.

There I have said my peace

Random Hottie Of This Post

Grace Park

Random Video Of This Post

It's A Bird It's A Plane........No Monkey Nuts It's Fuck You Friday

Once again it's that time of the week. That special time when the weekend is about to begin, you'll probably hit some bar, maybe have a drink or two or twelve. Then perhaps try you're luck on some loose women only to wake up the next morning either hugging a public toilet at a bus stop, or you'll wake up beside Helga the one eyed bridge troll and ask yourself "Did I just do what I think I just did? Is there enough bleach to make my soul clean?"

But seriously who are we kidding here you and I both know that you'll spend it alone drooling over the ladies in the Sears Catalog and drinking Tang the drink of astronauts. That being said remember to get over to Gucci Mamma who is hosting this weeks Blog Stalk Friday and Fawk You Friday Hosted by Boobies Babies and a blog, so check that shit out (obviously AFTER you read mine)

So here we go;

FUCK YOU To the arthritis in both my knees. You think that grinding sensation that feels like a fucking screw driver is scraping away at the inside of my knee cap gives me wood. It sucks horse dink, that being said I refuse to let that crap slow me down.

FUCK YOU To the running douche bag who was too concerned to miss a beat to some Marky Mark to run around me and my dog when my dog was playing with a puppy. Instead you fucking jump over them like a horse? It's a dam good thing my dog is very calm and didn't get spooked, or that the puppy didn't get spooked because if you had landed on one of them they would be dead......AND THEN YOU WOULD BE DEAD BECAUSE I WOULD DROWN YOU'RE STUPID ASS IN THE OCEAN. Chill the fuck out slow down or go around, you might actually burn more calories by going just a few feet over numb nuts.

FUCK YOU To the homeless guy tonight who thought the middle of the stairs out in front of the Olympic cauldron was a great place to spend five minutes spitting up shit from you're meth habit. Way to go asshole nothing spells love like spitting you're germs near kids and people just trying to get around you. If you needed to spit that fucking badly WALK TEN FEET AND SPIT IN THE OCEAN NOT WHERE PEOPLE WALK.

FUCK YOU To the guy who stopped in front of the parking lot and blocked 3 or 4 cars because you had to answer you're cell phone. Now this one didn't happen to me but seriously you had to block people right in the middle of the street, right in front of the gate to the underground parkade because you're cell phone rang.....WHO THE FUCK WAS IT YOU'RE BOYFRIEND ASSHOLE. You seriously couldn't have driven TWENTY FEET and parked by the sidewalk completely out of the way?

FUCK YOU To the Humpty Dumpty mother fucker who had to walk right in the middle of the road. Hey fatty are you on glue? Get you're ass on the sidewalk and keep it there so cars can get around you especially the one I was driving. Seriously if I wasn't concerned about how large of a fucking dent you would have left in the hood I would have ran you're ass over.

FUCK YOU To the Blockbuster close to where I live. Yes I understand you needed to do renovations and the place looks much better on the inside, there's just one little tiny problem. THE WAY YOU RE-ORGANIZED THE SHELVES MEANS I CAN'T FIND A SINGLE FUCKING NEW RELEASE.....these are movies not fucking buried treasure and no you are not a pirate (at least the kind that wears an eye patch and knows how to sail)

Overall it was actually a pretty decent week

Random Hottie Of This Post

Christina Ricci

Yes I know I posted one of her pics on my last post. But hey that pic didn't turn out so well, so here's a clearer one.

Random Video Of This Post

Rejoice Bitches It's Fuck You Friday Time

Now that I've said what I've had to say about the bullshit blog bashing from last night I think it's high time for another edition of Fuck You Friday (If you didn't get a chance to read it, it's the post below this one)

So with that being said here we go:

FUCK YOU to the bitch as McDonald's, why the fuck when I went to place my order you were talking to me like I'm some sort of robot...........DO I LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING TERMINATOR? Do I look like I have a neuro net processor in my cpu right beside the re-fuckulated flux capacitor? How about you try this, SPEAK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN FUCKING BEING.....just saying.

FUCK YOU to the piece of shit parking meter at the underground parking lot at Best Buy. Sure you're electronic and don't have a soul, but you're still a fucking douche bag. If you were alive I would cut you for taking my 2.25.

FUCK YOU to the three shit lickers on their bikes the other night when I went for a run who almost ran into me. First off assholes the fucking side closest to the rocks, not the side closest to the ocean is where fuck sticks like you ride you're bikes and roller blades. And second if you can't see shit because it was at night DON'T GO FOR A FUCKING BIKE RIDE, you're obviously have the night vision of a drunken hobo.

FUCK YOU to the old guy who wouldn't stop staring at me from across the street, seriously are you looking at the car or me.........the car fine that's one thing not that a 95 Honda Prelude is so fucking awesome, mind you it's like new and has under 50 thousand miles (no that's not rolled over either that's all it has). BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT OLD FUCKER. Now if you're staring at me creepy old dude I hate to break it to you, I'm not into dudes.

FUCK YOU to the bitch who referred to me to her friend as "Ewww look at that gross guy" when I took my dog for a walk a couple days ago. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Is it really necessary to refer to me as "That gross guy"....do I fucking look like Jabba the Hutt? I personally love how people who are extremely insecure have to make themselves feel better about themselves by running others down. By the way you look like you came in second place in a shovel fighting contest, so maybe you should take a good fucking look in the mirror before you run down others.

FUCK YOU to the guy who got caught breaking into cars at the nearby hotel where a friend of mine lives. You're probably the guy who broke into almost 100 cars last week, so I think it fucking hilarious that the cops busted you're pathetic ass and caught you in the act. I hope you get rapped in prison for years.

And last but not least FUCK YOU to the shitty toilet paper I bought because it was on sale, YOU FUCKING SUCK.

Okay now I feel better.......sorta.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Stacy Keibler

Random Video Of This Post

Time To Re-Fuckulate The Warp Drive.....It's Fuck You Friday Time

Today's edition of Fuck You Friday is brought to you by the letter F, as in Fuckstick, Fuckwad, and French toast

The Number 5 as in how many people I currently want to punch in the face at this very second

And The Colonel's own Kentucky Fried Chicken, because it's finger licking good

Also remember to get you're ass over to CB's blog for her newly renamed Blog Stalk Friday and Jena at Boobies, Babies and a Blog for her Fawk You Friday extravaganza, both their links are located on the side in case you're scratching you're head and asking yourself  "How do I get there?".....now you have no fucking excuse.

Now we shall begin:

FUCK YOU to the little crotch monkey's on the ferry earlier this week. Seriously it's 8 at fucking night and you're running around like little bastards on crack shouting and jumping all over the fucking place like the entire fucking ferry is you're personnel playground. If you were my kids (Thank fucking Zeus you're not) you would be sitting quietly in a chair reading a book, because if you got out of line I would probably feed you to the whales. And really is it necessary to slam into the bulk heads above people who are trying to sleep from having to drive all day.....LIKE I WAS YOU BASTARD.

FUCK YOU to the so called parents of these little crotch monkey's WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU AND WHY IN THE NAME OF FUCK WHERE YOU NOT DISCIPLINING YOU'RE FUCKING CHILDREN. Do you seriously think that the 150 other people on the boat really enjoyed listening to your kids scream for an hour and a half ferry ride? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no I and they were not fucking amused by you're lack of parenting skills because you were too busy stuffing you're fat ass in the cafeteria with fries and gravy. GET A GRIP ON YOU'RE FUCKING KIDS ASSHOLE

This one doesn't involve me but I think it's still valid

FUCK YOU to the dumb blond to busy sending a text to look to see if the light has changed before you step out into the sidewalk. That brilliant move almost got you hit by a car you stupid bitch, and then you swear and give him the finger.....WOW YOU'RE FUCKING DUMB. Get you're head out of you're ass woman the light was green, and green means he had the right of way, it also means keep your ass on the sidewalk (It was a very nice ass by the way but your still an idiot) Seriously though how fucking important was this text you were sending anyway, did it involve government secrets.......I highly fucking doubt it.

FUCK YOU to the jack ass who almost backed into my car yesterday, are you fucking stupid ass clown. When you back up you look over both sides in case a guy like me is behind you because I thought you were turning into Safeway not ding some bullshit half ass U-turn.

FUCK YOU to the bag of donkey shit who can't figure out that when the intersection is full and the light is green doesn't mean that you drive you're fucking car into the middle of the fucking mess. Do you know what happens when you and other cock jawed ass lickers pull that crap.........THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERSECTION GETS BLOCKED UP, THIS MEANS YOU'RE SORRY ASS IS GOING NOWHERE FAST. On a completely different note... you're BMW is a piece of shit.

So there it is kiddies this weeks FUCK YOU FRIDAY.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Claire Danes

Random Video Of This Post

Live From Tofino It's Fuck You Friday

Greetings fuckers, you're probably wondering where the hell is Tofino it sounds like some kind of meat substitute poop people put in sandwiches. It's a little town on the west side of Vancouver island and it's where I'm getting some much needed rest from the bullshit of the mainland.

So without further delay here we go:

1st off FUCK YOU to the asshole who kicked my dog, I'm still pissed off about that even though that was a few days ago. You are a pathetic little bitch who kicks like a 5 year old girl. AND WHAT FUCKING GROWN MAN KICKS A MAN IN THE ASS ANYWAYS?

FUCK YOU to all the assholes who started to gather around because I was yelling at this asshole and started to give me shit. News flash it's none of your fucking business and unless you saw the whole thing keep you pie holes shut and walk away. You standing there telling me to stop picking on the guy isn't helping and you have no fucking clue.

FUCK YOU to the bitch in the black BMW who almost rammed into the front of my car. You were turning on a green light and I had the right of way, and yet you yell at me because you're brain dead. Put down the cell phone and pay attention you stupid cow. Besides driving and talking on a cell phone is illegal in BC bitch.

FUCK YOU to the cop who gave me a speeding ticked on the way to Tofino, sure you were nice enough and reduced the ticket. Sure you were nice enough to give me directions to the hotel. But fuck I was trying to pass a guy who was driving slower then old people fuck.

FUCK YOU to the nosey fucker who wants to ask me a million questions about my personnel life and then gets pissed because I don't answer any of them. MY LIFE IS NOT ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS ASSHOLE.

FUCK YOU to all the assholes who gave me dirty looks as I went home the other night. Are you fucking kidding me, I really doubt any of you fuckers were even born in Canada and yet you look at me like I'm scum.

FUCK YOU to the homeless guy who sat his ass right beside my car and demanded change from everyone. Listen we all know you're just going to blow it on booze or drugs. And no I'm not going to give you my change not the first time you asked, not the second time, and especially not the third when you got in my face and demanded it. I am not a fucking bank or an ATM. If you were polite and respectful you would probably get some change. Yelling "Hey bitch you can spare a buck" to my friend or to all the women who passed by pretty much guarantees you're getting a boot in the ass not a quarter.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Lawless

Random Video Of This Post

And Now Another Edition Of Fuck You Friday

So here we are it's another Friday night, and the world is all fucking magical and elves are dancing and singing.....yeah fuck that shit I want napalm dropped on those little bastards from a fighter jet. It's been a busy week for this wolf, courses all manner of shit, some good, some bad, some well just meh. But I know I couldn't leave all my loyal STALKERS followers (all 2 of you) alone and scared, so here is another post to keep you going.

So here we go:

Fuck you to the fucking seagull who thought my head would be an excellent target to shit on. I was covered all over the place with bird shit that look like moldy milk and half chewed. Thanks you fucking shit hawk I really love being covered in you're fucking ass droppings. If you EVER land where I can catch you I'll hold you down and shit on you to give you a taste of what it feels like you feathered fuck.

Fuck you to the fat American family from the middle of nowhere Alabama who thought me being covered in shit was funny. 10 more feet ass wipes....10 more feet and you your fat cow of a wife, and you're little shit 14 year old offspring would be wearing it. By the way those ice cream bars that were dripping down your shirts arn't going to make you skinny.

Fuck you to the creepy weirdo on the mountain bike who started to sing to me about how you and you're brother have a million dollars in the bank. Let's get it clear asshole 1. I doubt your a millionaire 2. You smelled like piss and cheap booze 3. If you had a million dollars I don't give a rat's ass 4. Leave me the fuck alone.

Fuck you to the asshole who ran a red light and almost ran me over. Get you're head out of you're ass numb nuts. You missed me by an inch and you yell at me you shit stain, and you're confused why I wanted to punch you in the face..............good job dumb ass.

Fuck you to the three stuck up bitches who couldn't move one fucking foot over so I could get past them when I went for my last run. I know you saw me coming, I know you heard me say "Excuse me please", and you knew I had no fucking place to go but along the edge. But no you didn't move over so I had to otherwise I would have plowed right into you're stupid asses. In doing so I twisted my knee. Have you ever had a knee injury bitches, it's not fun.........I hope you get herpes.

Fuck you HST (Harmonized Sales Tax) which the province just brought in. My last grocery bill went up 20 bucks. I hope you plan on doing something useful with the money like...............anything but hookers and blow you crooked greedy shits.

And last but not least Fuck you to google keywords, are you fucking serious that people use the term "DON'T TURN THIS RAPE INTO A MURDER" to find my blog, really...wow or how bout "VANCOUVER GAY ESCORTS" what the fuck kind of game are you playing with me Google? Do I have to smack a search engine?

So that sums it up for this weeks Fuck you Friday, and now go make me a sandwich.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Beyonce

Random Video Of This Post

Don’t Turn This Rape Into A Murder And Other Bad Pickup Lines

Okay we’ve all done and said some pretty stupid things I’ll be the first to admit it. But one thing that always cracks me up is seeing some wannabe player at a bar or club trying to pick up a girl he likes. Most of the time these dumb asses are young guys who are fresh out of high school so you can almost forgive their dumb remarks as lack of experience in a social environment. That being said there are those who even in their 40’s use lines that leave you scratching your head and wondering “What the fuck was that ?”.
The title of this post is one such pick up line I saw being used at some country bar in Edmonton Alberta a few years ago. Now Edmonton isn’t exactly a high class place, but it’s not a shit smear either, well maybe sorta but that’s for a different post. Anyways this was back in my army days and this clown was one of the guys I worked with. I’m not sure how to describe him without revealing his identity so I won’t. Anyway after a couple hours of Tequila and god knows what else he decides he’s going to try his luck with the ladies. He scans the bar while trying to keep from falling on his ass and spots an attractive blonde (Well I think she was attractive I was pretty hammered at that moment myself) he staggers up to here, grabs her by the shoulder and yells while spitting in her face “Hey bitch don’t make me turn this rape into a murder !”

Your probably thinking at this point that she was shocked and slapped him in the face, then a bouncer or two hauled his ass out the door. WRONG she went home with him, can you fucking believe it, she actually wanted to go home with this guy which leave me wondering what her mental capacity is. And while this line worked for him, chances are good it won’t for you, it may land you in jail where some giant buffed guy the call “Tiny Tim” will take special interest in you because you look so darn purdy.

Another guy I knew would use quotes from Full Metal Jacket. Now while I think this is one of the best movies ever and can recite most of the lines in that movie, telling some girl she’s so ugly she could be a modern art masterpiece and that she wouldn’t have the common curtsey to give a reach around probably won’t get you in her good books or back to her place.

Then there was the wannabe Scotsman when he started drinking. This fat tub of ass after two beers would suddenly think he was Sean Connery. This puke piece of shit would go up to women and start spewing off in a fake Scottish accent. The odd part was…..he was French.

My personal favourite was from this guy I’ll call “Tim” not his real name or even close to it by the way. This guy already had a strike against him as a chronic liar; he once told me he was a formula one race car driver, WWE wrestler and 200 pounds over weight all at once. He would approach women and use all sorts of stories to get them to go home with him. One of my favourites was that he would pretend he played in the NHL for (Insert whatever team was playing against the Edmonton Oilers that night here) There was only one problem with this plan. Most people who are at the bars in Edmonton are watching the hockey game, so it’s just a little difficult to say you’re the star forward for whatever team when the real star forward just scored a goal.

As for me I’ve never used cheesy pick up lines or made up stories to try to get a girl interested in me. Personally I think it’s completely fucking stupid, I mean seriously whatever happened to just going up to a girl and saying hi is that so fucking hard these days?

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Liu