Thursday, September 2, 2010

It's A Bird It's A Plane........No Monkey Nuts It's Fuck You Friday


Once again it's that time of the week. That special time when the weekend is about to begin, you'll probably hit some bar, maybe have a drink or two or twelve. Then perhaps try you're luck on some loose women only to wake up the next morning either hugging a public toilet at a bus stop, or you'll wake up beside Helga the one eyed bridge troll and ask yourself "Did I just do what I think I just did? Is there enough bleach to make my soul clean?"

But seriously who are we kidding here you and I both know that you'll spend it alone drooling over the ladies in the Sears Catalog and drinking Tang the drink of astronauts. That being said remember to get over to Gucci Mamma who is hosting this weeks Blog Stalk Friday and Fawk You Friday Hosted by Boobies Babies and a blog, so check that shit out (obviously AFTER you read mine)

So here we go;

FUCK YOU To the arthritis in both my knees. You think that grinding sensation that feels like a fucking screw driver is scraping away at the inside of my knee cap gives me wood. It sucks horse dink, that being said I refuse to let that crap slow me down.

FUCK YOU To the running douche bag who was too concerned to miss a beat to some Marky Mark to run around me and my dog when my dog was playing with a puppy. Instead you fucking jump over them like a horse? It's a dam good thing my dog is very calm and didn't get spooked, or that the puppy didn't get spooked because if you had landed on one of them they would be dead......AND THEN YOU WOULD BE DEAD BECAUSE I WOULD DROWN YOU'RE STUPID ASS IN THE OCEAN. Chill the fuck out slow down or go around, you might actually burn more calories by going just a few feet over numb nuts.

FUCK YOU To the homeless guy tonight who thought the middle of the stairs out in front of the Olympic cauldron was a great place to spend five minutes spitting up shit from you're meth habit. Way to go asshole nothing spells love like spitting you're germs near kids and people just trying to get around you. If you needed to spit that fucking badly WALK TEN FEET AND SPIT IN THE OCEAN NOT WHERE PEOPLE WALK.

FUCK YOU To the guy who stopped in front of the parking lot and blocked 3 or 4 cars because you had to answer you're cell phone. Now this one didn't happen to me but seriously you had to block people right in the middle of the street, right in front of the gate to the underground parkade because you're cell phone rang.....WHO THE FUCK WAS IT YOU'RE BOYFRIEND ASSHOLE. You seriously couldn't have driven TWENTY FEET and parked by the sidewalk completely out of the way?

FUCK YOU To the Humpty Dumpty mother fucker who had to walk right in the middle of the road. Hey fatty are you on glue? Get you're ass on the sidewalk and keep it there so cars can get around you especially the one I was driving. Seriously if I wasn't concerned about how large of a fucking dent you would have left in the hood I would have ran you're ass over.

FUCK YOU To the Blockbuster close to where I live. Yes I understand you needed to do renovations and the place looks much better on the inside, there's just one little tiny problem. THE WAY YOU RE-ORGANIZED THE SHELVES MEANS I CAN'T FIND A SINGLE FUCKING NEW RELEASE.....these are movies not fucking buried treasure and no you are not a pirate (at least the kind that wears an eye patch and knows how to sail)

Overall it was actually a pretty decent week

Random Hottie Of This Post

Christina Ricci

Yes I know I posted one of her pics on my last post. But hey that pic didn't turn out so well, so here's a clearer one.

Random Video Of This Post

2 comments:

Gnetch said...

Humpty dumpty mother fucker... Hahaha! Awesome description!!

And you seem to love Christina Ricci a lot. :)

The Wolf said...

Glad you liked it, trust me if you saw this guy waddling around that would be the first thing you would have thought of. Yeah I'm not going to lie I think she's hot

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