Friday, September 10, 2010

And Now Another Edition Of Fuck You Friday

It's that time once again folks, that special time when the weekend is about to begin. And that means it's timeto vent all the garbage and bullshit from this week. So without further delay here we go........enjoy.

FUCK YOU to the piss ant squirrel chipmunk or flying fucking monkey for shitting on me from a tree when I was going for a run. Because of you I am going to make it my mission to run each and every one of you little furry bastards over with a car, you fuckers are evil and I'm going to take great pleasure in squishing you're cute little faces under a car tire.

FUCK YOU to the mother with a screaming kid the other day when I went out for lunch. Really you're going to let you're kid scream at the top of their lungs while others are trying to enjoy their lunch and YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO A FUCKING THING ABOUT IT. Wow I can see you're really trying for that parent of the year award. Next time you're little demon spawn starts yelling shit in tongues TAKE THE FUCKER OUTSIDE AND SHUT HIM THE FUCK UP.

FUCK YOU to the creepy older guy who wouldn't stop starring at me when I was running yesterday. Do I fucking look like Pamela Anderson running on the beach slowly letting my blond hair flow in the breeze to the sound of the Baywatch theme song. NO I DO FUCKING NOT, nor will I be willing to undergo any type of operation to fulfill you're fantasy you sick fuck.

FUCK YOU to the crooked ass licker who parked so close to my car I almost couldn't get out. Are you that clueless that there is a car behind you, or do you just not give a flying fuck. If there wasn't a cop parked across the street I would have given that new BMW of yours some racing stripes with my car keys. And we all know racing stripes make any car faster.

FUCK YOU to the homeless guy who thought it would be a wonderful fucking idea to throw beer bottles at cars at 2 fucking am...............WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU'RE MAJOR MALFUNCTION NUMB NUTS, oh wait that's right you're homeless and probably coming of a crack high and are angry because you have to go back to panhandling and sucking cock behind a dumpster for spare change. Sucks to be you asshole.

FUCK YOU to the bitch who let the side door at the local mall almost hit me in the face. Really are you that fucking special that you can't hold a door for two precious seconds. My hands were full of groceries and they were fucking heavy, but instead you were too busy being a stuck up cow and too important to think about anyone else other then yourself.............I hope you get crabs and those crabs have herpes which means you'll have crabs and herpes and their all gonna laugh at you.

FUCK YOU to the spaced out shit turbine on roller blades reenacting you're favorite scenes from stars on ice in the middle of the fucking road. Really you want to dance, I'm cool with that BUT GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY OF TRAFFIC. Otherwise you can dance on somebodies windshield fucker.

There I have said my peace

Random Hottie Of This Post

Grace Park

Random Video Of This Post


Copyboy said...

Makes me think of the bum that exposes himself to me every time i walk home. Can't wait for 50!!!

The Wolf said...

He must think you're sexy or something Cobyboy if he exposes himself to you when you walk home. To bad he hasn't figured out that homeless people exposing themselves is just not that sexy.

Gnetch said...

The creepy old guy staring at you, is he the same person as the last time?

Don't hate him. For all you know, it could be me in disguise. Haha.

Max Evel said...

I'm going to work today, and tell everyone fuck you.
It shall be good !

Gucci Mama said...

I want to come and spend the day with you. Your days seem ever so much more interesting than mine.

Christy said...

I love Johnny Cash. Perfect flip off.

The Wolf said...

@ Gnetch nope different creepy old guy, there are lots of them out here it seems especially in the summer when all the tourists are around. And hey if it's you in disguise, loose the disguise and simply tell me you're going to be stalkng me today, I'll make sure to get you a spare set of keys :)

@ Max Evel now that sounds like good times had by all. I also recommend shitting on the boses desk, and slipping some liquid laxetives into the coffee when the bathroom is down.

@ Gucci Mama well what are you waiting for, get you're butt on a plane

Crazy Brunette said...

Oh god!!!! I laughed so fucking hard at the first one!!! I can PICTURE it... PICTURE your happy ass, running, all sweaty, thinking about how awesome you feel... Then BAM!


I had a bird shit on me... TWICE in one day. With in a time frame of like 5 minutes! What the FUCK????

The Wolf said...

@ Christy Johnny Cash is the shit, they should make that man a saint.

@ CB that's pretty much how it went down. I was running listening to some 90's techno and sucking wind out of my ass......and BAM fylig monkey shit down the front of my shirt. I was so pissed I made some Japanese tourists kids cry 50 feet away

Kelly said...

Wow, man! Sounds like you've been having some awesome fun while I've been gone, fucker! Yeeehaaaa! From shit-spewing squirrels to creepy old homos to bottle chuckin' freakos in the streets. Hurray for you! Funny stuff, dude. I don't wanna laugh at your misfortune (well, actually I do) but it's just the way you say describe it all. Yo Ho HO.

I missed reading your blog, man. The Many Tortures Of The Wolf.

Oh, and I'm officially a pirate now. (Not a butt pirate, though) I've got the pirate skull mug and pirate hat to prove I'm the real deal. Now excuse me while I light me pipe and dance a merry jig while I walk this fucker down the plank with a cattle prod.

The Wolf said...

Yes good times had by all here on the west coast Kelly, nothing but good times. A pirate eh........good thing you mentioned that you're not a butt pirate cause that would have left you WIDE open for all manner of misfortune.


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