Sunday, September 5, 2010

Dating Sites

This weekend I've been house and dog sitting for a friend while they get to go off and do whatever the fuck it is they do. Hell for all I know they could be working for the CIA selling smack to Nazi's for all I know. This means that I get to use their big screen TV for PORN  watching TV and movies. When I haven't been watching zombie flicks I've been catching up on Family Guy and other shows I haven't seen in months because I don't own or plan on owning a TV again, but there's been something that's really been bugging me more then the usual crap they show, and that's the constant bombardment of fucking dating sites being advertised.

Is it honestly so fucking bad to be single that this has to be shoved down our visual gullets and make us all depressed because were alone? And it's pretty much all bullshit, take those online dating sites for example. They show clips of happy attractive people doing happy attractive things while they talk about how if you join up you can find true love. But what if you're not a twenty or thirty something, well they even show a couple clips of older attractive happy people riding bikes or walking on the beach, A WHOLE LOT OF HAPPY BULLSHIT. The reality is while there are normal people looking for something real and legit, it's pretty much an online pub. If you're a woman you get wave after wave of assholes who are greasy, full of themselves trying their best pick up lines or emailing you pics of their junk. If you're a guy you send out message after message only to be rejected time and time again. It doesn't matter how good you look, or how nice you are, because all the greasy assholes have been firing off messages one after another.

Then you have the ads for the chat line dating sites, these ones really piss me the fuck off. These usually involve some chick in skimpy clothes with a big rack dancing around, or lying on a bed in the same skimpy clothes or lingerie and having a fake conversation into a telephone while smiling like a fucking idiot. How much you want to bet that bitch is ordering pizza on that phone? Then she tells you that you can have loads of fun and talk to "real people" for only 9.99 a minute. Of course to entice the ladies they usually have some buff hairless dude with wavy hair giving the same speal but usually in less words (Because it's all about the T & A not schlong)

Now I'm not a rocket scientist or astro re-fuckulator matician but I'm willing to bet the chance of talking to that hot blond woman or some other equally hot woman is slim to fucking none. Chances are good she'll probably look like a toad, or be completely fucking mentally unhinged (Think Glen Close from Fatal Attraction kinda unhinged) Either way it leads to a big fucking disappointment except for those making the money on the poor suckers who call these sites.

Did I mention I hate TV

Random Hottie Of This Post


Jamie Pressly

Random Video Of This Post

18 comments:

Babes Mami said...

I don't have cable anymore, I don't miss those 876 commercials at all!

The Wolf said...

I'm glad I don't have cable anymore most of the channels have nothing on them and when they do it's bombarded with commericals and on long weekends like this one dating sites it drives me nuts

Gucci Mama said...

I'm sorry you hate the happy, Wolfey.

Hehehe.

Yeah, those commercials are as ridiculous as the shit being advertised. I don't understand why people fall for it.

The Wolf said...

I don't get it either Gucci I mean do they honestly think that Miss perfect ass blond is going to be waiting for them on there? It's almost as bad as those beer commercials that make people think that if you drink their beer women will want you and you'll always have a good time

Echo Phyber said...

Mission Blond Kolsch Style is very decent beer, I can call it perfect ass blond.

Crazy Brunette said...

Again Wolfy... We would HONESTLY make the PERFECT married couple... we BOTH hate the TV. Hmmmm, but what would we do with the kids when we wanted them to shut the fuck up?

Hot dogs, Miller Lite... Bonfire. Yes, please. ;)

Oh, and GODDAMNIT! If I do not make 'RANDOM' hottie of a post SOON... I will come up to Vancouver and HAND FEED your ass to a shark.

The Wolf said...

Fortunatly CB that's what basements are for, we lock them down there and feed them fish heads from a bucket.

hot dogs, beer and a fire sounds awsome. Keep the Miller Lite, I'll stick to my Heinikin, or Boddingtons.

Oh you say that CB becuase you want me :)

Crazy Brunette said...

I do want you wolfy... I just CAN'T hide it anymore! ;)

Is Boddingtons some weird Canadian beer? blah...

My girls don't eat fish heads... maybe we can just keep the TV in the basement...

The Wolf said...

I knew it :)

No Boddingtons is English beer or ale I guess it's kinda like Guiness but not as heavy and comes in a bigger can then what you normally get over here.

Alright the basement it is.........but fish heads are good for you there full of fishy goodness

Crazy Brunette said...

Dorky fuck. Good thing I love you!

The Wolf said...

Dorky ?????? Yup you want me :)

Gnetch said...

Dating sites annoy the shit out of me too!! I see it everywhere, even on Facebook sidebars! And those couples they show are not even real couples! They're just actors who were asked to pose/act like a couple. What the fuck is up with that?

The Wolf said...

Exactly Gnetch that crap is everywhere. I've used online dating sites in the past and while a lot of the people who are on there are decent you get a lot of weird fuckers, stalkers, and people who lie about who they are.

Max Evel said...

I'd buy a hooker before paying for one of those sites.
Not that I have ever bought a hooker, but yeah...that's what I would do .
Call me crazy.

Ashlee @ The Zombie Housewife said...

I've got a particularly desperate friend who met a bitch on one of those local chat lines. She was fucking INSANE! Not to mention that she was a big ole' beefy bitch who probably got off on the thought of big mac grease, but she told him she was 5 foot 9 and 120 pounds. The bitch ended up being shorter than me (I'm 5'3.5") and just as wide as I am tall. Not to mention that her insanity topped anything I've ever seen.

The Wolf said...

@ Echo Phyber that is an excellent beer indeed, now I'm crving one

@ Max Evel I don't blame you. I've used those sites before and despite some success a lot of it was.....well messed up.

@ Ashlee @ The Zombie Housewife, first off thanks for stopping in. Second that story reminds me of one particular girl who wanted to meet me off there. She told me she was 5'9 and 120 as well with long blond hair and althletic. In reality she was 5'4 220 and looked like Gomer Pile.......not sexy at all. Oh and she was crazy, she heard voices in her head.

klahanie said...

We get these adds for dating sites over here in jolly lil' ol' England. They say, If you don't get a date in the first six months, you will get the next six months, free of charge. Fucking great another six months of agony and bullshit.

The Wolf said...

@ Klahanie these things seem to be everywhere like herpes.......which is not good.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails