Friday, September 24, 2010

Fuck You Friday Time



It's time once again folks for another edition of FUCK YOU FRIDAY. Because I took a little time off last week this one is going to be a little long, I have to cover two weeks worth of things that pissed me off. And while the crazy fucked up antics kinda dwindled down to what could almost pass for a normal routine, there was still enough to fill buckets. So here we go.

FUCK YOU to the guy in the black Audi who loves to shove hampsters up his ass. You friggin moron when the light changes and people are trying to cross the cross walk (namely myself and a retired couple) look both ways before you speed into it. Do you know how fucking close you came to running into all three of us.....oh yeah that's right you were too busy being a stupid fuck and not pay attention to what was going on around you. Well cock jaws you missed me by about 3 or 4 inches, which is probably 2 inches bigger then you're dick you fucking idiot.

FUCK YOU to the one recruiter who thought a great opportunity for employment for me pays only 11 dollars an hour...........I AM NOT 15 YEARS OLD ASS NUGGET. I am 31 now I need to make more then that to be able to eat, live in my apartment, and maybe do something like buy a coffee once in awhile. 11 dollars an hour gives me just enough to either

A. Keep my apartment and starve, have no Internet or phone, or money for anything or
B. Live on the street and be able to eat

Fuck with those options I'll be able to buy a tent and live in Stanley Park, yeah fuck that.

FUCK YOU to the bitch with the IPod shoved up here ass and her face buried in a crackberry. You walk right down the middle of the sidewalk and then when you bump into someone because you're too out of it to realize you should be paying attention, you get snotty and tell me to watch where I'm going. Sorry but it's kinda fucking hard to get out of you're way you;re majesty when I'm surrounded by people and have nowhere to move, so eat a dick and pull you're IPod out of you're ass.

FUCK YOU to the countless waves of aggressive strung out pan handlers who think there's an ATM neon sign above my head. I am not you're fucking bank, I well never be you're fucking bank. And the fact that you're homeless is probably the result of you not saying no to drugs.

FUCK YOU to the skunk that almost sprayed me last week. Hey you furry little fuck why the hate? I was leaving you alone and you stick you're tail up at me like you're going to spray some of that foul shit at me. Fine you want to play that way, let's see you spray me with a boot up you're ass. You're not on the endangered species list so you're fair game asshole.

FUCK YOU to all the fuckers on that big fancy yacht in the harbour the other night when I was taking my dog out for a walk. Do I look like a fucking clown is that why you were laughing at me? Really you're adults so fucking act like it.

FUCK YOU to all the companies that say "We need people to fill positions" and then when I send you my resume I never hear back from you. I also love the fact that you're not only bumping up the required basic skills to get these positions with you're company, but that you're also dropping the wages for those positions as well. Let's see fuck sticks this time last year those jobs you posted were between 17 to 20 an hour, now 15 maximum if you have a degree and 5 years of fucking rocket science experience under you're belt, just so you work at some fish plant cutting fish.

FUCK YOU to the anal retentive sperm dumpster who was trying to have a conversation on you're phone and order some food, but couldn't make up you're mind so instead you just fucking shout business related shit. Last time I checked THE FUCKING UNIVERSE DOES NOT......... I REPEAT DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. Shut off you're phone, place you're order, and get the fuck out of my life.

FUCK YOU to the guy who tried to start up a conversation by saying "Wow it's sure wet out today?" when I was running this morning. Really??? No fucking shit Einstein, next you're going to tell me water is made from water......fucking brilliant. Let me make this simple for you to comprehend. If I wanted to talk to you I would have, when I'm running I don't want to talk to you, not unless I'm having a fucking heart attack. I know you were trying to be nice. But don't jump in front of me to talk to me because you feel lonely, let me be asshole.

FUCK YOU to the middle aged woman in the BMW SUV who gave me the evil eye while having her coffee while parked at Blockbuster. What do you think I'm going to steal you're car and possibly rape you or something? Do you want to be raped? Seriously I'm minding my own business returning some movies and you're staring at me like I just killed you're kids or something.

That's all for now have a great weekend. And remember duct tape is the handy man's secret weapon

Random Hottie Of This Post

Jenna Dewan

Random Video Of This Post

6 comments:

Copyboy said...

Love the FUs and the F worthy women. By "F" I mean Friday.

klahanie said...

Another fine selection of fucks for Friday.
You know these fuckers with their cringe-worthy conversations on their cell phones aka mobile phones over here in bloody England, do my fuckin' head in. Seriously considering shoving the phone up their fat butts...
Please enjoy your weekend in Vancouver. Hey a night in a tent in Stanley Park might be well cool. Just stay clear of the goddam' Nine O' Clock cannon:-)

evil p0ptart said...

Man, I always thought Canada was decent when I had a vacation in Vancouver. LOL But apparently people don't know how to drive up there, like Californians. ;)

The Wolf said...

Sure that's exactly what you meant with the "F" Copyboy

Klahanie yeah I don't think the 9 o'clock gun would be a good place to hunker down for the night, it does have a great view though.

Evil Poptart actually the drivers out here arn't that bad compared to other large cities I've been to. Montreal and Toronto for example are. I tried to drive around those places and both of them left me with my hands shaking for hours.

Gnetch said...

I know where to hide the bodies, Wolfy. If you need to... you know!!!

Haha.

Kelly said...

Hey, Wolf, before I get to your "fuck you(s)" to all the idiots your way... How was the Robin Hood movie you rented just recently? Any good?

Really? You had a skunk almost spray you? Fuck... I've never even seen a skunk around here. But if I get sprayed by one, I'd have to kill him slowly. So sorry animal lovers.

I, like you, hate it when inconsiderate fuckwads start conversations with you when you're obviously busy. Fucking impolite, it is. Especially doing it in the goddamn rain. He must have been an imbecile. Again, deserving of a nice slow death... but cutting out the nice part of it. :)

As with all the rest of 'em, I understand your aggravation. May all their crotches burn with ignited napalm and their assholes get reamed by a wild boar.

Now that would be a YouTube video for ya. Enjoy your weekend.

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