Friday, February 4, 2011

Dating Sites

I'm just going to come right out and say I don't get some of the shit that goes on in dating sites. Now don't get me wrong I think there actually a good thing, especially when your socially awkward such as myself. It's a good way to break the ice, and if you don't like the fucker or fuckette it's a fucking cinch to block and ignore them. But there is some shit on there that pisses me off, so I thought I'd make a list to display my frustration. Hey who says I don't share.

1. Fucking avatar pics of flowers and shit

Is it so fucking much to see what the fuck you look like. Don't get me wrong those that tell you they'll show you theirs if you show them yours is pretty smart. Apart from that who the fuck wants to see some stupid fucking flowers, or a fucking happy kitten. Fuck off with that shit, I want to be able (as I'm sure they would want to) be able to see who I could be meeting. You can tell a lot from a picture such as how they present themselves, if they practice good hygiene, if they have all their teeth. You can't tell a fucking thing from a pic of a sunset, fuck the sunset show me your face.

2. A few extra pounds translation your Jabba the fucking Hutt

Okay this one really pisses me off. Be fucking honest about your weight, I don't give a shit if you're 400 pounds just let me know so that if a meet up does happen I don't go storming out because you told me a load of bullshit. I know people are sensitive about how much they weigh, I also know very well how it feels because I was damn near 300 lbs at one point and was very fucking embarrassed by that, so I understand that. But isn't better to be honest right off the bat?

3. Do you drink, smoke, shoot crack, eat small children.........prefer not to say

I fucking love these questions because when you say "prefer not to say" or something along those lines your basically admitting that you do. Fuck why else would deny it if your trying to hide the fact that you do, use your fucking melon.

4. Copy and paste

What's fucking worse that a fucking avatar of a bunny........a pic of a different person all together. For fucks sake do you really think that pic of Cindy Crawford from 1996 looks anything like your bridge troll ass. I had this happen once when I went to meet this girl who claimed to be 5'5 shoulder length blond hair, and a fit physic. Only to discover she was 5'3, was as fucking wide as tall, and looked like a hobbit.

I know there are guys who pull this shit too and frankly it's fucking embarrassing all the way around.

5. Your pic is from 1984

I'm almost fucking positive that unless you've been in cyrogenic suspended anifuckingmation since that year and you just woke up that you look nothing like that faded grad pic you posted. Camera's are fucking cheap, buy one and use a new picture.

6. Stalkers

I've only had this happen a couple times when I've used these sites in the past, though I'm sure this happens to a lot to women from creepy guys. One of the times I kept getting constant message on the site (I never gave me email thank fuck) that would go all day long. After a couple days it went from questions like "Do you want to meet so we can hook up" to "I'm going to cut out your eyes out with a knife". Needless to say that account was deactivated pretty dam quick. The second time was a year later and this woman actually flew from Ontario to Edmonton to try to find me. She got my number (which I never gave her) and started calling my fucking apartment telling me how she was going to kill me........oh what fun. Then silence for a week then she calls back and demands I buy her a plane ticket back to Ontario.....yeah fuck that.

So to the fucking creepy Fatal Attraction fucking wannabes before you go psycho fuck off.

And that's all I have to say on that.

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18 comments:

Max Evel said...

I got on one of those once ,and just laughed my ass off .
The best shit I saw was a dude trying to pass himself off as a woman .
F' the dating sites !
It's all bullshit, smoke ,and mirrors.

Denny P 3 said...

I actually met my wife on Match.com, but it was like 8 years ago and a little different then. It wasn't as popular then as it is now. I got lucky and she was only the second woman I spoke with. We knew we would get married before we even met in person, that's how lucky I got. I know that's not how it works generally, but I have nothing bad to say about dating sites as you can imagine.

The Wolf said...

Max Evel I've used a few of them in the past and yeah it's fucking hilarious. If you want to really get a good laugh look at some of the ads the guys post it's fucking comedy at it's finest.

Denny sounds like you really did get lucky and congrats for doing so. I do think that at it's core dating sites are a good thing, especially when there are people who don't either have the time or are not as socially outgoing as others. But there is a lot of fucked up shit on there.

ChopperPapa said...

Online dating, the only place where you can lie and it's actually ok. God, I'm so thankful I'm over that crap.

Mad Jack said...

You pretty much nailed it. The only dating site I ever pursued was some sort of ballroom dance 'I'm looking for a partner' site. Me, I can dance like a pro, but I was stuck in a strange city for a few months and had a yen to dance. I started reading the ads posted by women, and I should have listened to my own good advice and run like hell. I didn't. Hey, live and learn, right?

These days I can kind of understand why someone wouldn't put their pic on a dating site. Especially if it was a shy girl who's actually a victim begging to learn about submission. Ha!Ha!

Still, if you want to set yourself up for stalkers, there isn't a better way.

Now me, I want a pic and an honest height/weight ratio before we meet up. She doesn't have to be a ten or even a nine, but I'm not into blind dates involving proof of Darwin's theory with a direct link to orangutans or chimpanzees.

One question, seriously now: If you used to be 300 pounds and wanted to lose weight, how did you do it?

The Wolf said...

ChopperPapa that's pretty much it. If there not lying about their looks, it's their job if they even have one, how much money they have or a million other things. And while there are those who are honest on there it seems to be getting fewer and fewer.

Mad Jack I'm the same way, when I've used them I trited to be as honest as possible. I figured if there's a chance I'm going to meet them face to face wouldn't it be better to be honest up front.

As for losing the weight the first thing you want to do is really want to loose it and be prepared to work at it. The first 30 days or so I thought I was going to die becuase I wouldn't allow myself any junk food so it's almost like a drug withdrawl. I was also putting in at least 3 hours a day exercising a lot of it cardio.

Once you get a routine though it's pretty easy to maintain it and I've been able to keep it off for over 5 years.

Mad Jack said...

I was also putting in at least 3 hours a day exercising a lot of it cardio.

Thanks, and congratulations on keeping the weight off. It's the 3+ hours per day that might be a bit difficult... okay, 3 hours a day is harder than the concrete on I-75. My diet isn't all that bad. I cut out a lot of the crap, like burgers, fries and pizza. It's the exercise and lack thereof.

The Wolf said...

Mad Jack I was in the army when I was losing trying to lose the weight and we would have to do at least an hour and a half of physical training a day. As long as you can get an hour a day then you should be fine. I also break it up such as doing 40 to an hour of cardio in the morning like running stairs. And then another 40 minutes or an hour at night. That way you don't have to do it all at once or feel like it's taking up all your time.

Kelly said...

I know what you mean. If they're not going to be honest from the get-go, with their picture or description of themselves, that's bad for everyone involved. You... because it's likely going to be a bad surprise when you finally meet. And them, of course, because you're going to be instantly turned off with their dishonest bullshit and leave them right there, slack jawed and disappointed. Fuckers like that should save you and them the trouble and just be honest to begin with.

Btw, that stalker story at the end would have freaked me the hell out. What, if anything, did you do in reaction to what she was doing? Call the cops, maybe? Not that that would do much good, probably. They would say that since she hadn't actually harmed you yet, they couldn't do anything or some shit. I might have called them anyway, just in case my body was found later, floating in a river or if my eyeless corpse was found in a dumpster. They could have something to go on, in that case, in reference. Aren't I the cheery bastard? :)

The Wolf said...

Exactly Kelly and that goes both ways with men and women. What the fuck is the point of lying or trying to hide things that are going to be pretty fucking present when it comes time to meet.

As for the stalker I wasn't too worried. I lived on the 3rd floor of my apartment building so I know she couldn't just climb thorugh a window unless she's a rock climber. You couldn't get in the building unless someone through an intercom let you in. And I was armed which helped me sleep a lot more soundly.

The cope really wouldn't have been able to do much anyways, I could possibly have gotten a restraining order but there wa no point, she couldn't get close to me anyway.

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