Friday, August 13, 2010

Live From Tofino It's Fuck You Friday

Greetings fuckers, you're probably wondering where the hell is Tofino it sounds like some kind of meat substitute poop people put in sandwiches. It's a little town on the west side of Vancouver island and it's where I'm getting some much needed rest from the bullshit of the mainland.

So without further delay here we go:

1st off FUCK YOU to the asshole who kicked my dog, I'm still pissed off about that even though that was a few days ago. You are a pathetic little bitch who kicks like a 5 year old girl. AND WHAT FUCKING GROWN MAN KICKS A MAN IN THE ASS ANYWAYS?

FUCK YOU to all the assholes who started to gather around because I was yelling at this asshole and started to give me shit. News flash it's none of your fucking business and unless you saw the whole thing keep you pie holes shut and walk away. You standing there telling me to stop picking on the guy isn't helping and you have no fucking clue.

FUCK YOU to the bitch in the black BMW who almost rammed into the front of my car. You were turning on a green light and I had the right of way, and yet you yell at me because you're brain dead. Put down the cell phone and pay attention you stupid cow. Besides driving and talking on a cell phone is illegal in BC bitch.

FUCK YOU to the cop who gave me a speeding ticked on the way to Tofino, sure you were nice enough and reduced the ticket. Sure you were nice enough to give me directions to the hotel. But fuck I was trying to pass a guy who was driving slower then old people fuck.

FUCK YOU to the nosey fucker who wants to ask me a million questions about my personnel life and then gets pissed because I don't answer any of them. MY LIFE IS NOT ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS ASSHOLE.

FUCK YOU to all the assholes who gave me dirty looks as I went home the other night. Are you fucking kidding me, I really doubt any of you fuckers were even born in Canada and yet you look at me like I'm scum.

FUCK YOU to the homeless guy who sat his ass right beside my car and demanded change from everyone. Listen we all know you're just going to blow it on booze or drugs. And no I'm not going to give you my change not the first time you asked, not the second time, and especially not the third when you got in my face and demanded it. I am not a fucking bank or an ATM. If you were polite and respectful you would probably get some change. Yelling "Hey bitch you can spare a buck" to my friend or to all the women who passed by pretty much guarantees you're getting a boot in the ass not a quarter.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Lawless

Random Video Of This Post

13 comments:

Gucci Mama said...

Wolfey! Everywhere you go is exciting. Sheesh, the people you run into. Speaking of, send your readers over to check out the Gucci Shore - the first "episode" airs today. You'll love your little character bio, dearest.

Gnetch said...

Ha! I always find your FYF entertaining. I feel like I live near your house or something!! Well you know, those people who stick their noses in other people's personal lives have fucked-up lives. That's why they do it.

Uhm, I think. :)

Christy said...

As a serious dog lover, WHO THE FUCK KICKS A DOG? And with witnesses? Really? He deserves to be kicked in the nuts for that one. If he thinks he's got balls, he needs to be taken down a few pegs.

The Wolf said...

@ Gucci Mama I will once I get to Vancouver and use my desktop, my netbook and the crappy connection out here sucks.

Yes my life is full of adventure and colorful characters.....fuck I want to drink myself to death.

@ Gnetch you live near me sweet now I can stalk you......errr visit and ask if you want coffee....yeah that's it coffee, nothing stalker related at all :) Totally agree about the assholes who stick their nose up at people.

@ Christy exactly he's a spinless little bitch. He was pissed about something becuase as I was walking in that direction he was swearing at his wife. Still it's no excuse to kick my dog if he can't get it up or whatever his problem is......I hope he gets run over by a truck and losses his legs

Max Evel said...

Lucy Lawless looks great in that pic, but dude when I seen her in Spartacus ...Yikes !
There was something wrong with those boobies.
Killed my crush on her bad .

~J said...

I cannot believe someone kicked your dog...I'm about to read that post right now...that's madness.

You always pick the best random hotties too!

Gnetch said...

I could be stalking you and you just don't know it. I'm good like that!!! Haha.

The Wolf said...

@ Max Evel I think that's a pic from Maxim I think just near the end of Xena. I havn't seen Sparticus yet but I've heard the same thing from a couple of people who have.

@ J you got that right I don't think there's enough booze or anything that's relaxing to decrese my desire to tear that fucker a new one if I run into him again. He's probably a tourist though since there were a couple cruise ships in town and I've never seen him before.

It's a tough job picking random hotties I have to spend countless hours staring at pics of hot chicks, it's a tireless and thankless job, but someone has to do it.........well okay it's not really that tough.

@ Gnetch now now don't get my hopes up. Besides like I've told others if youre going to stalk me send me an email and I'll send you my daily schedule and mail you a spare set of keys so that you can stand over me at night and breath heavily, or write stuff on my bathroom mirror and steal some of my clothes. You know becuase I care and all that.

Gnetch said...

That's an awesome idea. So I think I'll have to ask for sponsorship so I could stalk you. Stalking is quite expensive. I need a plane ticket, money to pay for the apartment near you, telescopes, cameras, and lipstick to write stuff on your bathroom mirror. Also, I need a pair of boots so in case your dog decides to bite my leg, his teeth won't go through my skin.

The Wolf said...

@ Gnetch when I win the lottery (and I'm totally due for it) consider it done. I'll find you a nice place with view of the ocean and fill it with all the things a certified stalker will need. High tech cameras, night vision goggles, telescopes, voice recorder, and plenty of pictures of me for you to cut the eyes out of and paste all together in one room. I'll even make sure you have a large budget for the needed lipstick and boots, though my dog dosen't bite, but hey who says your not going to go shopping when your not stalking

klahanie said...

Well I think you kinda' know I know where Tofino is. Did you go there via Port Alberni? I have some memories of Port Alberni and a strange smell that attacked my nostrils.
Enjoy your weekend and a bit of chill out time from the Lower Mainland.

The Wolf said...

@ Klahanie I drove straight from Nanaimo, the last time I was here I was 12 and only a tiny fraction as bitter as I am today. Yes there is still that "strange" smell in the air every now and them. It's awsome here though, I'll post some pics when I get back to Vancouver.

Crazy Brunette said...

I yelled at some bitch today while I was trying on heels... Stupid slut thought she'd be a badass and mouth off to a already shitty CB... No good.

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