Sunday, August 22, 2010

Undead Sexy Party

Now I thought I seen dam near everything good bad and fucking ugly. You know the kind of fucking ugly like you were drunk and woke up beside Helga the bridge troll and realized you gave her/he/it hopefully not he or it the goods……….pretty fucking ugly I know.

Vancouver on the other hand for the last year has consistently thrown curve balls of all manner of shit my way that I thought I would never see, tonight was another example of that. Because tonight the streets were packed with ZOMBIES……I SHIT YOU NOT.

No not actual, shuffling, moaning like old people fucking, brain eating undead zombies……and no it was not a fucking convention of dumb ass fuckheads looking for a good time. It was people dressed in costume as zombies. NOW WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE DRESSED AS FUCKING ZOMBIES?

Apparently there were doing something called A ZOMBIE WALK. If my 30 seconds of Google searching has taught me anything ( I know 30 seconds is a long fucking time to focus on this ) it’s that a zombie walk is kind of a social get together where people dress like fucked up corpses and stagger and moan like their drunk on cheap beer and Prozac. They crowd the sidewalks and parks bumping into things and sometimes walking into ordinary people as if they were going to eat their brains, basically like any other fucking day in a large city only there dressed in fake blood and ripped up costumes instead of cell phones and expensive suits. This is not a new trend either, since about 2000 or so people have been getting together in increasingly larger groups as this becomes more popular all over the world. Books like Max Brooks THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL HORROR GUIDE and WORLD WAR Z and movies like the remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD have made this popular all over the world. But this is the first time I’ve ever seen this in person


I mean these people went all fucking out. There were slutty zombies in mini skirts and and ripped nylons, a stripper nurse zombie with a red thong pole dancing on a street sign because apparently the undead like to pole dance and show their ass………..which wasn’t bad for a dead chick (Is that wrong?) There were soldier zombies in fatigues and tactical vests, even some chubby Asian Sailor Moon zombies. There was even a small school bus painted up like one of the handy darts from the remake of Dawn of The Dead that was being used as a “Zombie Protection Vehicle”

I couldn’t stop laughing, especially consider the people who weren’t zombies on the street were mostly tourists who like me have seen this shit before and didn’t know what to fucking do. I saw an old guy take his able walker and try to use it to defend himself from some fat dude dressed up as a mad scientist zombie. Some creepy German tourist was trying to take a pic of two almost topless zombies, and dozens of others simply turned around and almost ran away.

My only regret is that I didn’t have my camera with me.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Sheri Moon Zombie

And now and educational video to help you defend against the undead

And now on a completely different note McKenzie over at Life As A Stay At Home Mom ( ) awarded me the Versatile blogger award (located near the bottom of my side bar. When you're done here get you're candy ass over their pronto and check her shit out. Being this is my second time getting this award I'm going to bend the rules..........yet again. First If you're link is on my blog roll, or you a follower or regular commenter consider yourself nominated for the same award. As for sharing seven things about me, well I'm going to save that for another post. But if you're absofuckinglutly dying to know everything you can about me send me an email or leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer you.

Also check out my latest video on YouTube and subscribe to my channel



Max Evel said...

Ultimate Zombie Guide is one of my favorites.

Gnetch said...

I would have loved to take pictures of that if we have zombie walk over here! Damnit, why don't we have those here?

Anyway, congrats on the award. That's fucking awesome.

Gucci Mama said...

Oh, I WISH you have had your camera! Sounds awesome.

The Wolf said...

@ Mex Evel it's on of my favorites as well

@ Gnetch I wish I had my camera there were hundreds of them all over the place, it was fucking awsome.

@ Gucci Mama the one time I don't have either my digital camera or my cell phone that has a camera in it and this happens....figures

McKenzie said...

That must have been quite the sight seeing all the "zombies" waltzing around.. Bummer you didn't have a camera!

Christy said...

That would have been hilarious. It is just too bad you didn't have pics to with.

The Wolf said...

@ McKenzie I have to admit at first I thought I might have been losing what's left of my mind when I first saw all the zombies stumbling around. Then I couldn't stop laughing it was fucking hilarious.

@ Christy I know the one time I don't have some sort of camera on me and this happens. They have it every year apparently so I'll try to get some pics next year. I'll also see if I can find some online to post as well.


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