Thursday, January 13, 2011

Fucking Printers, Nukes, And I Think I'm Losing My Fucking Mind


Today I decided to do up some simple business cards for the new website I've been a fucking slave to happily working on for the last little while which is why I haven't been posting on here as much as before. It started out simple enough I bought some fancy ass guaranteed not to smudge if I look at it the wrong fucking way type of paper, the type that what's his name from American Psycho would have approved of before running around naked and hacking people up with an axe (seems like a logical idea to me)

The reason for making these cards is because I could be going to some sort of meet and greet social networking type thing, and apparently theres a guy who knows his shit when it comes to web design, something I'm still trying to figure the fuck out. Not that I'm a fucking ass clown when it comes to computers and Internet shit and all that fancy stuff either, I can cut and paste like a motherfucker in a throw down.

So I get the paper find a nice free card creating site, I don't opt for the fuzzy pink fucking kitten picture that was the standard logo for the card type that I picked. I mean what the fuck kittens.......me.....not fucking happening. Instead I go for my sites new logo (pictured above in all its glory)

It comes time to print (oh fucking joy) but does it print looking all bad ass and razor like...NOPE IT'S A CLUSTER FUCK TO THE SECOND DEGREE. I print again calmly (sorta) and again a cluster fuck of epic proportions. So considering that I've spent most of the last couple of weeks up almost 24 hours a day working on, correcting, posting, and researching for this site I LOST MY SHIT. In full metal jacket style there I am going all drill Sergeant (I was only a corporal....and why the fuck am I typing all this shit in these bracket things, what the fuck is with that? Fucked if I know, fuck I think I'm talking to myself and typing it as well as answering myself..........meh fuck it)

Any who I am fucking screaming at this piece of plastic HP dog shit telling it I'm going to dry smash it into fucking oblivion and that if it had a neck I would be shitting down it.

Finally after a few minutes of this I had a realisation, I used the wrong program which is why the paper is all fucked up like a red headed step child. So I got the cards finally looking good to go.........Not sure why I told you all about that, it's not like it's all that important.....ahhh fuck it I'm losing it again.

Oh yeah I almost forgot I found this nifty little widget that lets you see what the blast radius of a nuclear warhead will be in any city on Earth, and it's kinda like Google maps. So you can find directions and avoid fallout, not a bad deal me thinks, here it is if you want to try it out, it's at the bottom of this post below the video. For some reason I keep having this urge when using it to nuke New York, not sure why......meh fuck it.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Nina Dobrev

Random Video Of This Post



9 comments:

Kage said...

haha! you seem to have a propensity for violence towards computerized accessories, and you swear a lot.

I FUCKING LIKE IT.

The Wolf said...

Kage I've seen the Terminator enough times to know what happens when you let machines have their way. If I don't teach my peice of shit printer it's place now, one day Arnie could come looking for me.

Max Evel said...

You Know what I hate about printers .
The fucking printer cartridges cost more than the damn printers .
You run out of ink ,and you might as well buy a new printer.
What's up with that shit ?

The Wolf said...

Exactly it's a fucking conspiracy Max. Even the bundles are a rip off becuase the cartridges are actually smaller then the ones you get individually....It's all bullshit.

ChopperPapa said...

Dude, in all seriousness, I found a site that gave me 500 kicking business cards for $50 (including shipping) I forwarded him the design I wanted and booyaa! 3 days later I was rocking like a champeen!

If its worth 50 bones to keep you from going medieval on your technology hit me up on my blog and I'll point you in the right direction.

Otherwise a sawed off twelve gauges usually will do the trick.

Kelly said...

Well, gee... that was nice. I played around with Nuke widget and nuked the biggest obvious target (the largest city) next to my town and my town got fucked every which way but loose. Of course, even the fallout headed directly toward me. Shit!

Sounds like you've been having some real good times with your printer, man. I hate printers. They're fucking pieces of shit. All of them. Even if you know what you're doing, they fuck up, anyway. Like Max was saying, the printer cartridges cost you a fucking limb, man. I feel like I need a bank loan just to buy one. Really, machines are fucked up when you get right down to it. Rant on, dude!

The Wolf said...

ChopperPapa I'll have to check that out for sure. I ended up having to use a freinds printer and they turned out really well, they have nice clean edges and all that wonderful shit. But 50 for 500 and no hassele sounds pretty good right now.

Kelly that's pretty much how it worked out for me if Vancouver gets nuked I am as the French would say "Tres Fucked" translation very fucked. Meh fuck it I say bring on the mutants and zombies.

CB said...

Where have you been all my life Wolfy????

I miss you fucker.

The Wolf said...

I've been up here in the Great White North CB. I spend my days wrestling grizzly bears, chopping down majestic trees and trading beaver pelts for alchohol..........well not really but I did look at some trees today.

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