Friday, March 19, 2010

Chick Flicks Make Me Want To Kill

How many of you out there have to watch boring pointless girlie movies, you know the ones like The Notebook, Vanity Fair, and Pride and Prejudice all fucking 5 versions including the extra long, extra boring, and extra bad teeth British version. I shudder to think about all the hours wasted on these movies when I could have done something more productive such as watching Chuck Norris movies, mentally undressing the girl I saw at the gym with the great rack, and basket weaving. But no I had to watch these brain liquefying movies with my ex and listen to her get all weepy about the characters and their love for each other. It was enough to make me want to stab out my eyes with my own thumbs because the kitchen knives were too far away.
Two stand out for me that were the worst of the worst, ones that should be used to interrogate Nazi war criminals and terrorists in Guantanamo bay Cuba. Those two are The Notebook and second Twilight movie (I haven’t seen the first Twilight movie fortunately)

If the creator of these movies should ever happen to read this blog know this, I will find you and I will break you……….severely.

For starters sparkling vampires WTF they don’t sparkle like some pixie they explode, bust into flames, and make wonderful popping and hissing noises in the process. And second why when you have Rachael McAdams in your movie did you not get her naked and not use clever camera angles to hide all the good bits you bastard. I spent an hour and a half hoping to see something, anything, but no and for that I wept inside.

Oh and on another note for those of you fortunate to haven’t seen Brokeback Mountain yet, don’t fall for the line that it’s a western, Tombstone is a western, The Good The Bad And The Ugly is the ultimate western, Brokeback Mountain will leave you hiding under the living room table in the fetal position begging for the bad DVD player to stop

Random Hottie Of This Post

Denise Richards

No comments:


Related Posts with Thumbnails