Thursday, March 3, 2011

I'm Rich Bitch

Today I got a wonderful email that went a little something like this:

Dear Mr. Wolf

The Yahoo Lottery Corporation is pleased to tell you that you've been selected and won 1 million dollars. All you have to do is send us a blank cheque with your signature and we will wire you the money right away.

Sincerely

Mr. S Perm Dumpster
Yahoo Lottery Corporation
Some shit hole butt fuck middle of nowhere country you've probably never heard of
www.this is a fucking scam@ fuck you.whatever.

This isn't the exact message but I'm typing this on me net book and it was saved on my desktop, my version has more of that certain something something.

Do these shit heads really think I'm so fucking stupid that I would send a blank check with my signature, why the fuck don't I staple my balls to my fucking forehead while I'm at it as well. I love how they ripped off the name of a major search engine....one of the 5 largest I believe and only dwarfed by mega search giant Google. I love how they couldn't fucking use a spell check and the mis-matched word placement of some jerk off with a basic grasp of English. And my favorite is that it was addressed to some bullshit office in Nigeria. Geez  the last time I checked the only shit that comes out of Nigeria is fucking bullshit scams trying to suck money out of North Americans. Well maybe not just bullshit scams, theres also blood diamonds, drugs, smuggled weapons, human trafficking, and the occasional genocide just to keep things interesting. So I guess I'm just a tiny bit skeptical that millions of dollars with my name on it are just across the ocean.

Not that I wouldn't love to have a few million, I would only use the money for good........who the fuck am I kidding it's all hookers and fast cars and gold plated toilet seats (who doesn't want to feel to touch of a precious metal on their ass when they take a shit......and why do they call it taking a shit anyway? I'm not taking it anywhere, I'm not going to a restaurant with it and buying it fucking dinner, I'm confused)

Getting back on point here, to those who make these scams, to those who are fucking parasites who pray on those who are naive and not savy to the fuck tards on the Internet I only have one thing to say to you FUCK YOU, YOU SLIMY TWINKLE TOED CROSS EYED CHICKEN FUCKER.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Catherine Bell

Random Video Of This Post

6 comments:

Kelly said...

I just shot a sperm whale's worth of jizz after seeing Catherine Bell gracing your goddamn blog. Now my nuts are shrunk up like the withered raisins of a hundred year old pervert. Damn theeeeeeeee!

Scammers like you're talking about and the kind I have experienced, myself, need to have a rusty sword rammed up their hiney holes until their colons look like mincemeat pie.

I must add to what you said about the probability of taking a shit to dinner. This only happens when you're taking an ungrateful, self-obsessed, arrogant, snotty assed date with you to an expensive restaurant that you can hardly afford. But you don't find out they're like this until halfway or after the steak and lobster and 10 dollar piece of cake. Ahhh... the old dating years of past girlfriends... it's all comin' back to me now.

Time to go psychotic again!

Gnetch said...

Hahaha. Damn spammers. Do people even buy their BS?

The Wolf said...

Why Kelly you almost sound bitter in that last statement about your dating years.

Gnetch somebody must there are after all a lot of stupid people out there in the world.

Gorilla Bananas said...

They must have worked out that if they send a million emails they might find 8 or 10 doofuses who'll play ball. Have you ever sucked a gold nugget? Mmm-hmm, it's better than sugar cane.

The Wolf said...

That is true Gorilla Bananas there are a lot of idiots out there so it's only a matter of time before theey find ones dumb enough to fall for this.

klahanie said...

Hey Wolf,
There's a 'Nigerian Princess' who is going through some really tough times. Just send her all your bank details and you will become rich, I tell you, rich beyond your wildest dreams...
Dude, get your butt over to my site, if you don't mind. I got that award our modest Yank friend created, waiting for you.
Have a good weekend in Vancouver, if you can.
Take care, Gary

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