Saturday, May 7, 2011

I Want This Under The Tree For X-Mas

Okay so it's kinda early to start talking about what I want from Santa, that pinko commie bastard who gave me black socks last year. Black socks are you fucking shitting me cupcakes here? As If I don't already have 10 million pairs of them already. I specifically asked for 100 million dollars in unmarked bills, Lucy Liu, and a gold plated toilet seat and I get socks you dick!

Anyways getting back on target here I figured if I get the word out early maybe that fat fuck and his reindeer will get it right this year. Otherwise I will personally go to the North Pole and fuck him up. Let's see how that fucker makes Timmy a G.I Joe Fortress when I take a golf club to his knee caps, but I'm not angry.

For this year I'm keeping it simple I want a Gepard GM6 Lynx anti material rifle. It is a semi automatic Hungarian .50 cal sniper rifle that bridges the gap between sniper rifle and assault rifle, basically if an M-16 was on leave in Hungary got drunk and did the nasty to a sniper rifle this would be their bastard offspring and who doesn't love bastards? This rifle is designed to take out anything from troops who would become red mist if hit by a round, to light armoured viechles, bunkers, and even helicopters up to 800 meters away. Kinda makes me all misty eyed thinking about what kind of damage this would do to a bus full of pedophiles soaked in kerosene in an open field in the countryside.






I think that sums it up nicley.

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Anna Paquin

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5 comments:

Autumnforest said...

What do I have to do to be a random hottie? I'm not so sure about Santa and the gun. I get the feeling he's a liberal anti-gun kinda guy. How do I know? He lives in an isolated area with a couple thousand little male elves and male reindeers. I kind of get the idea that Mrs. Claus is just a figurehead. You know, like Lisa Marie was for Michael Jackson...

The Wolf said...

To be a random hottie Autumforest first you must submit a resume then go on an epic quest to locate Excalibar, then.......ah who the hell am I kidding just send me a pic and I'll post it. I think your right about Santa and Mrs. Claus just being a figurehead. I mean would you trust a big fat guy who lives with hundreds of little elves

but updates said...

Why wait for X-Mas? Ask it for Mother's Day.

The Wolf said...

Good point But Updates, however I'm not on speaking terms with my family so I doubt they would be too keen on getting me a fine weapon such as the Gepard.

Mad Jack said...

Okay, I want one too. Just imagine what you could do with that gat fending off a home invasion or a no-knock warrant! Wrong house? You bet it's the wrong fucking house, Tyrone.

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