Wednesday, July 14, 2010

And Now An Important Announcement From The Future Ruler Of The World

Greetings my fellow earthlings………I’ve fucking had it. I’ve had it with dumb ass politicians who couldn’t sort out a wet dream with Jenny McCarthy and a bottle of Vaseline. I’m tired of these fuckers who have no clue other then their own greedy ambitions or how to run a country. So I’ve decided to do the only logical thing that there is to do I’M GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. Yup you read that right, soon I shall be known as El Presidente. While I know you’re all excited about this I thought I would let you know about some of the changes you’re future world president is going to make to make all our lives that much richer.
First we need a new world national anthem, you know something that makes you all goose bumpy or some shit like that. Something perhaps like Ich Will by Rammstein or Get Psycho by Disturbed should do the trick either way your gonna like it……….OR ELSE.

Second will be the establishment of “free fire zones” places where you can go to shoot a few rounds or blow some shit up to let off some much needed steam from a hard day at the office. Of course to be efficient right beside these free fire zones will be located prisons that only house the most undesirable scum bags in the universe, pedophiles, serial killers, rapists that sort. Of course to keep prisons from overcrowding many of the prisoners will be released into the zone, if they happen to be shot…….well what can I say shit happens.

Next the following sports will be added to both the summer and winter Olympic games

- wet t-shirt contests

- gladiator style fights (think ancient Rome)

- pole dancing

- and for the ladies 1000m shoe shopping dash

All former nations capital cities will be required by law to build 100 feet tall solid gold statues in my likeness to showcase my glory and keep me appeased………..YOU DON’T WANT AN ANGRY EL PRESEDENTE AFTER ALL. Smaller cities and towns with populations below one million can build a simple monument in the town’s center.

Anyone caught breaking the law (the new laws I’ll announce once in office) will be sent to a concentration camp happy fun camp for brainwashing re-education through forced labour volunteer labour such as breaking rocks with a hammer and basket weaving. After a indefinite short time they will be allowed to return to society properly reprogrammed……..I know sounds like fun doesn’t it?

Now obviously I can’t take over the world alone that’s just crazy talk. So I’m currently accepting applications for the following positions

- minister of propaganda

- concentration camp happy fun camp commandants

- head of secret police

- janitor

That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

                                                                          Sienna Miller

Ramdom Video Of This Post


Gucci Mama said...

Okay, first of all Wolfey, how are you going to be part of my inner circle on the island I'm buying to escape this whacko bullshit if you're taking over the world? I need you with me on the beach. We can have wet tshirt contests there, too you know. Not that it would be fair, since I'm still the reigning wet tshirt champion in my college town. Just saying.

But if you insist, just make me the queen of something. I'm okay as long as people have to bow to me and I can wear a lot of jewels.

The Wolf said...

Yeah I think we can work out some sort of arrangment. Tell you what when I take over you pic whatever island you like and I'll have it evacuated for only you and you're inner circle. You can be crowned queen with an extravegant coronation ceremony and I'll even let you have the crown jewels from England.

Kelly said...

I would vote for you, for sure.

Because of my genuinely unique imagination, creative pain-inflicting skills, torture toolkit and pocketful of nightmares, I humbly volunteer for the position of "Happy Fun Camp Commandant". I could offer a whole host of wonderful activities and games for our deserving victims. Such as "How Many Times Can You Kick The Pedophile In The Nutsack?" will be a fan favorite. All of the prisoners will be screaming for joy... Or would that be absolute agony?

Your ideas for the summer and winter sporting events sound great. I'm really enthusiastic about that part of your scheme the most. Well, that and the shooting and torturing of scumbags.

Btw, El Presidente, could you add "Ladies Knob Gobbling" as another sport for the guys to enjoy. I'll be sure to repay the girls with the kindness of a gentle pat on the head for their efforts while they kneel before me, slobbering away for the hearty meal of my penis squeezins.

Because I care.

The Wolf said...

Kelly I think you would make an excellent "Happy fun camp" commandant, great idea for the camp activities as well. As for knob gobbling yeah that could be a contender for a new sport.

Gnetch said...

No. I CANNOT ACCEPT THIS!!! No! How can you steal my spotlight??? You know CB and I are GOING to take over the world!!! You know that!!! I have better plans.

If you want to join us though, you can. Your ideas are... uhm... quite okay.


The Wolf said...

Gnetch this is non negotiable I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD end of story. That being said I will be a merciful El Presidente....well sorta. You are more then welcome to join my team in conquering the world, the pay is good, there's a dental plan, and vacations are long.

Gnetch said...

Ha! You have to wait for my platform. My plans are unbeatable. My position will be higher than yours, El Presidente. I will be the most powerful person ever!

Dr. Heckle said...

Pole dancing should be in the Olympics... Those chicks are talented! ;P

The Wolf said...

@ Dr. Heckle it should be indeed those girls are very talented. I mean who else can balance themselves upside on a greased up pole naked and trying to catch money with their tits............that requirs serious focus, and well a little cocaine.

@ Gnetch yeah yeah yeah, listen princess this is how it's going to go down. I will rule the world and you are going to like it END OF STORY. Now if your really nice to me I might just let you rule over let's say Australia which you can rename Gnetch land or smething like that.

Gnetch said...

*shakes my head*

Wolfy. Wolfy, Wolfy, Wolfy...

Crazy Brunette said...

Hey fucker, I thought I was already a shoe in for Minister of Propaganda!

And you're too late. Gnetch and I have already began the quest for world domination!

The Wolf said...

No CB you and Gnetch are too late,I've been planning this since I was 5. And since I'm older then both of you that would mean that I was planning this probably before you were alive :)


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