Last time I checked the fucking sidewalk is for pedestrians. So when some fucking ass clown almost ran into my dog and me this morning……….well I was a little bit shall we say not amused. I asked this fuck stick why he was too fucking good to ride on the road like every other fucker who uses a bike, his response “ I don’t have a helmet “. To which I replied something along the lines of skull fucking him with a spoon, because it hurts more.
And he wasn’t the only turd who pulled this move, by the end of the day 3 bike riders, and one jogger with a nice ass but a total bitch almost ran into me……..WTF.
Here’s the part that gets me, the city of Vancouver has spent millions, perhaps tens of millions adding bike lanes, and entire trail systems in the city for those who use bikes to get around. While I think it’s a great idea, it’s seems none of these fucks gets it. Fucking bikers are all over the place like a bad case of crabs. These ass pirates use the sidewalks, the main roads and anywhere else they can squeeze their spandex wearing asses. Every time I have to drive somewhere one of these pricks almost gets run over because they don’t fucking pay attention to what’s going on or think they own the road…………NEWS FLASH FUCKERS YOUR SCRAWNY ASS DOSEN’T OWN THE ROAD THE 1000 POUNDS OF CAR THAT CAN POP YOU LIKE A PIMPLE DOES.
Last time I checked as well in order to use the road I have to have a license and insurance, the same goes for motorcycles, trucks, and those beaten up vans that pedophiles use to trick kids with candy. So why the fuck can some shit turbine on a 10 speed get away with not having any type of driver training, no license and no insurance. Does it not make sense that if you use the road you have to have a drivers license….makes sense to me unless I’m a fucking retard. It’s one thing for parks and places like the seawall around Stanley park that are clearly divided between foot traffic and rollerblading and those on bikes. Those place are mostly used by those who use it to work out and clueless tourists who look like they’ve never ridden a bike in their life. I admit I do get a giggle out of those fucking Japanese girls who fall all over the place…….sorry to any Japanese girls who read this, you may be attractive, but you like like a moron on one of those bikes.
Getting back on target, is it not the smart thing to do to make these dumb fuckers take some kind of standardised training and perhaps pay a couple bucks for a license so that when one of these fuckers acts like a bone head they don’t have an excuse. Not only that they might understand why so many people are pissed at them. They might also realize (hopefully) that swerving in front of a car and suddenly stopping is pretty fucking stupid. By the way to that fucker who did that to me last week if you’re reading this I’m going to punch you in the throat and set you’re tiny balls on fire and then giggle like a little school girl.
As to you fucking runners, and by the way I run almost every day too fuckers, YOU DON’T FUCKING OWN THE SIDEWALK OR SEAWALL. It takes a whole two seconds to either slow down , or God forbid move over. Now I know this might screw up you’re concentration for a whole second, or you might get distracted from that totally bitching Justin Beiber song………….yeah fuck that I hate that little girly boy, I hope a monkey throws poop at him and he’s traumatized for life and turns to crack and ends up giving hand jobs behind a dumpster to support his habit. I just read that back to myself and I think I might have some anger issuses………..meh,
But seriously fuckers I don’t care if you have an ass that won’t quit you don’t fucking own the whole sidewalk, move the fucker over. Here’s a hint treat it like the road, stick to the right unless you live in one of those countries that does it backwards from North America then stick to the left depending on where your going. Sounds pretty easy right, that’s because it is…………NOW FUCKING DO IT.
I'm really a happy person full of joy and love honest.......................yeah who the fuck am I kidding.
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15 comments:
Lol Middle Child you can write whatever the hell you want on the sidewalk.....you can even draw pictures for all I care.
I'm not saying cause serious injury, because I am a delicate, loving flower after all, but maybe if you just nudged them out of the way with your car a little bit they'd get the message. Or trained your dog to bite every bitch in spandex and a sports bra who takes up the whole damn sidewalk when she jogs. Unless that bitch is me, in which case you can scoop me up, take me home with you, and teach me proper sidewalk etiquette over waffles and hot syrup...
Gucci Mama do you mean nudge as in speed up and ram the fucker ? I thought about training the one dog who's pretty big to bite those bitches but he hates the taste of spandex.....too chewey I guess. As for teaching you sidewalk etiquette I say we just skip to the hot syrup and waffles.
That's exactly what I meant, Wolfey.
And, um, deal. Hot syrup and waffles it is.
omg thats too funny! People are like that here too! Except downtown people think they can walk all in the street! Mu husband about hit a "pedestrian" the other day and I was like lookout he was like fuck that the sidewalk is for them you dont see me driving my car all on the sidewalk, no bc i would get a ticket but this douche can walk all in front of me on the street! wtf! haha
omg. I totally agree with everything you wrote about. That must mean I have serious issues too. hahahaha
@ Brittney fortunatly we don't usually have that problem with pedestrians here, drivers tend to speed up when somebody is jaywalking. I've almost been hit three times in the last week alone trying to cross at a cross walk when I have the right of way, I sure as fuck am not going to try it when I don't.
@ Dazee Dreamer we don't have issues......I think......well at least thats what the voices tell me, that and to burn things. I like to think of it as having a very low tolerance to bullshit, kinda like how some people have a vitamin deficency, only it's to stupid crap.
@ Gnetch wait Justin Beiber is a she........I thought it still had to have the operation first.
I see things haven't changed in Vancouver. Next time I'm over, which will be in October, I have this urge to grab one of them police stinger things like they throw down when they are chasing cars and throw it out in front of a bunch of cyclists and joggers and watch them wipe out and crash into Lumberman's Arch. Should be fun...
@ Klahanie now that does sound like fun. Let me know when you plan on doing this.........I'll bring beer
Yeah and after a few brewskis we could gather up the joggers and the cyclists and shoot them out of the 9 O Clock Cannon. Would be hilarious to see them bounce of the roof of Canada Place...
That would be good fun for all......well except for the joggers and cyclists, but they don't matter anyway. We could even attach fireworks to them for a little festive decoration.
Golly, such ruthlessness and violence! Dear me*
*giggle.
If I saw any of those cocksuckers casually riding their fuckin' bikes in front of me, taking their sweet ass time, I would gleefully use my two ton pick up truck to crush their scrawny bike-riding asses beneath my wheels. Then, if there are no other cars behind me (which would be a wonderful miracle, for a change) I'd back up over them and pop their goddamn heads open like an overripe cantaloupe... slowly... So I that I might hear their gurgled attempts of screaming... in horrific agony!!!*
* Yes, I will have my windows rolled down and the Megadeth CD turned down to hear the squishing, screaming and popping of noggins.
Stupid fucks like that are deserving of death. Where I live, we rarely have the problem that you describe. But when it does happen, it pisses me the fuck off and I do take action... But in a way that I don't get any blood on my nice, white, nearly-perfect-in-condition truck. Cleaning off the blood of idiots is so time consuming, after all.
@Gary- Don't get me wrong. Your idea is fantastic, too.*
*giggle
Now how's that for a 'novel' of a comment? I could go on but I have to take a dump. Also: I'd like to fuck Natasha in every orifice. Okay... Now I'm done. Take care.
Least she had a nice ass you got to ogle after she damn near took you out!
Very true CB and I deffinitly made the most of it, she was still a bitch though.......I would have still done her though, but it would have been the angry kind that involes hair pulling and biting and perhaps the occasional bitch slap :)
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