Monday, October 11, 2010

Shit To Be Thankful For

The last little while I've been in kind of a negative mood due to things that right now are out of my control. So I wanted to turn things around a little and do something on a more positive note. Being that it's Thanksgiving here (Yes we have Thanksgiving up here in the great white north too fuckers, and no I'm not really sure why but I'm sure it involved lots of ninjas and explosions) I thought I would share some of the things that I'm thankful for.

I"m thankful that we have not been invaded by either of the following:

- Space Nazi Leprechauns
- Giant Radioactive Lobsters In Crotchless Lobster Suits
- A Legion Of Angry Fucking Grannies Obsessed With Matlock
- Alien Justin Bieber's..........oh wait there's already one here FUCK

I'm thankful that even though I've been out of the army for about four years, I can still hit a moving target at 400 meters. This will come in handy for the impending zombie apocalypse. I don't plan on being brain food for those undead fuckers.

I'm thankful that I have KD in the cupboard and clean socks, and if I get really hungry I can combine the two to make a meal.

I'm thankful that being a guy I have a highly developed sense of being able to tune people out when they start to nag and bitch or go on about something pointless like having to walk to some shit hole town to find cornflakes, but they didn't have cornflakes because of the war. So they had to settle for puff wheat or some other shit. Anyways back then gas cost 25 cents a gallon which was good because the car burned 1 mile per gallon. Anyways about those cornflakes, you had to settle for puff wheat because of the war....................yeah I even tuned out what I just wrote there.

I'm thankful that when it rains out here all the tourist fuckers scurry like mice for cover so that I have the entire seawall to myself so I don't have to twist my ankle trying to manoeuvre around all those fat ass mouth breathers.

I'm thankful that I'm not short cause that would fucking suck.

I'm thankful that I don't have a name like "Harry Dick" or "Benjamin Wiener" or "Turd Ferguson". Can you imagine growing up how many times I would have been picked on for having a name like that, it was bad enough having a "normal name".

And last but not least I'm thankful that no matter how much bullshit is thrown my way, no matter how messed up I am and emotional scared I am, or how fucked up things are for me I will not give any fucker the satisfaction of getting the best of me FUCK THAT SHIT.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Katy Perry

Random Video Of This Post


Dazee Dreamer said...

And I'm thankful that I can read your awesome blog!!!

The Wolf said...

Dazee Dreamer are you trying to make me blush? Thanks glad you like it.

Kelly said...

Hey, that's no fair! You guys get to have Thanksgiving earlier than we do! Where's my goddamn perfectly cooked turkey, goddamn it? And where's my goddamn oyster fuckin' dressing? You Canucks are Thanksgiving cheaters!

Ah, well... Happy Thanksgiving to ya, anyways.

By the way, I just got word that the glowing green lobsters in crotchless lobster suits are coming down the road, and they're looking to get the jump on some dude name The Wolf. Not to worry, though, I sent them to the Red Lobster restaurant. When they get there and see their brethren getting cooked alive they'll be really freakin' pissed and kill all the cooks and burn the place down with their laser beam eyes.

I humbly accept your gratitude.

The Wolf said...

Yes Kelly we have it a little earlier up here then you guys. I just read why we have it because I thought it was for the same reason you damm american imperialsits do. But the reality is we have it becuase it has to do with the end of the harvest and giving thanks for a bountiful harvest and all that crap. Not because of Pokahontus, angry indians, and dudes in funny hats.

Thanks for sending the space lobsters to Red Lobster, I promptly had them deep fried and covered in butter and they are fucking delicious.

Crazy Brunette said...

Good for you sugar!

*tears* I'm short and you LOOOOVE me!

Oh, and it is sooooo fucking hot that you can hit a moving target from 400 whatever away... Like really, I think I have to change my panties!

The Wolf said...

Well of course I do CB you're my favorite stalker.......errr follower I mean. Anyways so you know a 1 foot equals .3048 meters so 400 meters equals about 1313 feet give or take. ANd who said I was all good looks and charm.

middle child said...

I love you um,...what was your name again? Was it Mike Hunt? Kisses.

klahanie said...

Good for you. That's the spirit. And like I mentioned in your other posting, I hope you had a peaceful Canadian Thanksgiving. A lot of folks seem to be surprised we have one in Canada.
All the best and take care eh.

Max Evel said...

I'm thankful that Katy Perry kissed a girl ,and she liked it !
I just wish she would've taken pictures.

Copyboy said...

Wow! That is some great stuff to be thankful for. FYI...some of those aliens scare the $#@ out of me.

The Wolf said...

Middle Child for you my name shall be Sancho

Klahanie yeah most people I've talked to from the U.S are suprised we have one, they also think we celebrate it for the same reasons they do.

Max Evel that is indeed something to be thankful for. I agree she should've taken pictures, or at the very least posted it on YouTube.

Copyboy yes you should be scared of those aliens, I mean who wants to be attacked by space nazi leprichauns

Gnetch said...

You should also be thankful that I want to stalk you.

Just kidding.

Anyway, I'm glad that you don't let any fuckers get the best of you.


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