Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What The Fuck Is This Mickey Mouse Shit


A couple of days ago I was watching the news. Over on Vancouver island just outside of Victoria a couple workers clearing brush near the highway discovered a live M-72 rocket launcher. Now I thought the smart thing to do if you find something that could potentially kill you and you know jack shit about how to operate it was to leave it the fuck alone and call someone who does ie the police. Apparently these two didn't get that memo and proceeded to play around with the launcher like a fat and fatter version of Rambo.

Now for you none military types you probably have no clue as to what I'm talking about (aren't you glad I am and I can tell you about all this kind of stuff). An M-72 is a one shot disposable rocket launcher, this means that when these are used in combat the missile is already pre-loaded inside the tube, all you have to do is pull it open to arm, aim and fire..........of course you want to make sure nobody is behind you for about 30 meters or else they get to spend the rest of their days being called BBQ face. You also don't want any large objects such as a car or large rock directly behind you........this can really ruin you're fucking day.

This is just the latest little bit of stupid shit I've seen in the last couple of days, and it leaves me wondering "Are people getting stupider?" I mean fuck, these two ass clowns should have known not to fuck with a live weapon that they've only seen in video games and Vietnam war movies, but no they have to fuck with it like dumb asses. What would have happened if it misfired......sure as shit somebody would have gotten hurt or killed, and for what because fatty wanted to play soldier?

Fast forward to today, I recently got a new coffee maker. I get home to install it and look at the directions in case there was some technically mumbo fucking jumbo like having to install the warp coil or flux capacitor or decipher ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics like when I have to program a T.V.

What I got instead was a little booklet with nice little pictures give me directions on how to not only open the box, but on how to remove said coffee maker from the box. Then how to remove the tape covering the open moving parts...................ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DO I LOOK LIKE SOME TURD WITH DOWN SYNDROME? I'm pretty sure that in order to take an object out of the box you do it the same was as you would the last 50 fucking thousand other boxes that I've opened. Not to mention these fabulously brain dead instructions were at the bottom of the box below the coffee maker, this means that the stupid fucker who can't figure it out is screwed. I'd hate to see that poor bastard in a position of power......oh wait their called politicians silly me.

Next I start to cut the tags of the new dog bed i got for my 20 pound fluff ball that things it's a rottweiler. Apart form the normal cleaning instructions in bold print was "Not to be used by children as a bed" Huh are you fucking kidding me? What piece of shit parent uses a dog bed for their kids bed, I can picture it now some trailer in the back 40 of butt fuck nowhere where cousins are potential dates. Billy Ray comes home from the road kill collection factory (his shed) "Lookie here ma, little Timmy don't have to sleep on dat dirt floor nomore no siry we gots him a dog bed. Now he can sleep like them edumacated folk. Fucking outstanding.

Maybe I'm just that extra little bit of annoyed with the human race today but it seems that we as a species are getting stupider by the minute. Please someone tell me I'm wrong and that I just need a nap and a sandwich.

But I'm not bitter

Random Hottie Of This Post

Amanda Latona
Random Video Of This Post

5 comments:

Gnetch said...

So apparently, the coffee maker company thought that most people know how to operate a coffee maker but don't know how to take it out of the box?

The Wolf said...

Apparently so Gnetch. They had nice little pictures with arrows showing you how to remove the coffee maker from the box, and how to take some tape off. I mean if a 3 year old can open those "child proof" medicine bottle, I'm pretty sure an adult knows how to take an object out of a box.

Max Evel said...

It's a beautiful retarded world we live in.
Kind of makes you feel good doesn't it Wolf ?

Kelly said...

I can't tell ya you need a nap and a sandwich... Maybe a cold beer and a ruthless dick sucking from Amanda Latona would make ya feel dandy, though.

I can tell ya that folks are, indeed, becoming more imbecilic by the second. You know that companies put those instructions for retards in the boxes of crap they sell because some numb- nutted shit-for-brains got him or herself "supposedly" hurt by doing the simplest task wrong and was just clever enough to get a lawyer to sue the company. Now, every goddamn company in the world is putting instructions for retards in their boxes, so they can claim impunity from being sued by retards.

Btw, I hate those instruction booklets that are a thousand pages long with type so tiny that you need a fuckin' magnifying glass to read the fuckers.

The Wolf said...

Max Evel it most certianly is.......not sure if it makes me feel good or not though.

Kelly that's exactly it, they wouldn't put stupid instructions on something like that unless some idiot tried to open the box with a bowie knife and cut his hand off, then sued the company for millions because they were stupid.

It kinda reminds me of a breifing I had years ago concerning paint chips of the LAV 3 armoured vechiles. We were told not to eat them.....because apparently some idiot decided it would make a nice light snack, I shit you not.

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