Thursday, May 27, 2010

Taking Care Of Business

Today I feel the need to take care of some housecleaning so to speak. And since this might be my last post before I get into my new place, which will function as my command post for when I take over the fucking world I think this is the prefect time to do so.


For the first order of business I feel I need to give a special shout out to two very cool, very kick ass, and two fucking outstanding blogs that if you don’t check out after this post then you should invest some cash in a blue hockey helmet and go look for you’re baseball. I mean c’mon we all know the internet is for porn but that’s no excuse to not check these two blogs out.

The two blogs in question are One Crazy Brunette Chick and Psycho Carnival, and like I said earlier if you don’t take some time and check out these two blogs, well you might be shall we say a LITTLE SLOW because if you’re willing to pass up checking out these two blogs then you need you’re fucking head examined. You might also need a boot to the ass and you’re lunch money stolen, that and if you don’t their all going to laugh at you. There links are posted to the right of this post in the links section, in my bog-roll, and there buttons are both in the middle right of the column so that should pretty much eliminate any fucking excuse not to. Take it from me these blogs will make you a smarter more balanced human being……okay well not exactly but you get the picture THEIR FUCKING AWSOME

The next article on the list is that I am fucking stoked to announce that there is going to be a new blog on the scene. This blog will be a collaboration of two of the greatest fucking minds in the fucking universe myself and CB (Crazy Brunette for short in case you didn’t know). This blog isn’t finished just yet, I know you’ll have to stick to cold showers for a little bit but trust me on this the wait will be worth it, just like banging the prom queen, or seeing you‘re friends hot mom naked for the first time. Of course once the blog goes live I’ll be sure to have the link posted here so you can see just how fucking awesome it will be. The new blog is called TWO FOUL MOUTHED FUCKERS, for some additional info CB has a post up on her blog, so now you have another excuse to visit the two blogs I mentioned.

As I mentioned above this will either be my last or second last post until I’m settled into my new place, which will give me a shit load of more personal freedom and space to do what the fuck I want, and being a slightly bitter and sometimes anti-social fucker such as myself having my own space that I don’t have to share with a roommate is always a bonus. So I should be back up and operational by Tuesday if all goes well. Of course that’s if all goes well, and knowing how things usually turn out that means that God is going to have a field day on my ass and fuck my shit up royally. You remember that movie American History X when Edward Norton is in the shower and gets raped by that big fucking Nazi. Well kiddies that big fucking Nazi is God and I’m Edward Norton about to get the shaft (literally)………of course that would be the worst case scenario. Hopefully all goes smooth as fucking silk, and I’ll be back up in no time.

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Charisma Carpenter

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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Visual Diarrea

Like many of you I like to watch movies, especially on shitty days like today when you don’t want to go outside because it’s pissing down rain (Gotta love the west coast for that). But what pisses me off royally is the lack of good movies that are being made these days. It seems like almost every new movie that comes out is a shitty remake from a classic 80’s or 90’s version. These new remade versions are usually filled to the brim with CGI bullshit, crappy acting, and almost no effort what so ever to make a decent movie. Instead these fuckers just want to make a quick buck at our expense.

The other day for example I found out that there going to make a remake of Robocop……..are you fucking kidding me? Now if you haven’t seen the original Robocop which came out in 1987 go buy it, don’t bother renting it, because it’s that fucking good. This movie became an instant 80’s classic depicting a world where corporate greed and technology gone amok are the norm. Sure the remake will have better effects, such as when the main character gets shot all to shit in a hail of gunfire, but what about the story, I don’t know how the hell their going to make this remake better then the original, I doubt they will. Like 90 percent of most remakes that have been made so far they fall way fucking short of the original.

It’s like the people in Hollywood aren’t even trying anymore to make something worth watching, and frankly they should try a lot fucking harder. First the theatres charge way to fucking much just to get a ticket, let alone some popcorn. And all for what, an hour and a half of visual shit, just so some fucking big name actor or actress can collect a pay check? Fuck that no wonder more and more people turn to pirated copies of these movies, because there not worth shit. Now sure there are exceptions to this rule like in everything else in life, but even these exceptions are becoming rare.

Seriously though what the fuck is going to be next once they run out of ideas to copy, reality shows? Can you imagine a day when the make shows like Survivor, and the Apprentice into movies? If that’s the case that’s going to be the day I burn my T.V. It honestly baffles me that they have to resort to copying ideas from older movies, I mean how many fucking times has The Thing been remade, and now there talking about another one. Or I Am Legend, which was a remake of The Omega Man which was a remake of an earlier movie (The Last Man On Earth I think) and with each remake the movie, became worse. That’s not to say that I Am Legend was shit, just c’mon do something fucking different.

And it’s not like there aren’t plenty of great ideas floating around in the form of books which is where most movies have come from to start with. Not to mention all the bloggers and website owners who now self produce their own books (Fuck I’ve even been working on one myself), so there should be now excuse now more then ever for these lazy ass clowns in Hollywood to find a good idea to make a movie. If I was the top exec for one of these companies I would fire every fucking writer who doesn’t have the spine or the balls to use their brain and come up with a good idea, not re-hash an already well made movie and turn it into shit, because the meaning of that original movie has been lost. While I understand that at the end of the day it’s all about making money that should be no excuse to not turn out something of value and quality that people are going to appreciate, not feel ripped off and disappointed.

Oh well at least the porn industry still produces top quality entertainment.

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 Princess Leia

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Friday, May 21, 2010

An Email

The other day my roommate gets an email from a friend of hers. It’s one of those pass it along to 15 people and spread the word kind of shit. But instead of one of those “Spread this email to 45 friends and you’re dick won’t fall off” type of email (Okay that’s an exaggeration, obviously if I got an email telling me my dick will fall off if I don’t do this I’m going to take it pretty fucking seriously). This email instead had a rather important message, it was about the Holocaust. I don't have the link by the way, my roomate has yet to send it to me so I can't post it for you to see.


Apparently in jolly ole England they have stopped teaching about this subject because many have found this offensive, and many also don’t believe it even happened (From the email this said it was mostly the countries Muslim population, though I can’t be sure of that to 100% certainty) But regardless of who finds the subject offensive WHAT THE FUCK, AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE. World War 2 was the greatest slaughter of human life to probably have ever happened in history, the Holocaust was just a part of the bloodbath but one that should never be forgotten. Not just because 6 million Jews were butchered, but because an estimated 10 million Russians, and another 20 million Catholics, Gypsies, Homosexuals, Political dissidents, and anyone else who said fuck you Hitler was gassed, shot, starved and experimented on and a whole shit load of other wonderful things were done to them.

At the end of the war general Eisenhower purposely took as many pictures as possible and even went so far as to make as many Germans as possible see the camps and bodies, and even help bury the dead, why did he do this? To drive the point home so that this never happens again and that it would be remembered. The same can’t be said about the millions of Russians who were executed by Stalin during his time in power, or the untold millions of Chinese who were killed by the Japanese during the war which some estimates place as high as 60 million.

I don’t care what fucking religion you believe in, what your race, sex, or sexual orientation is, or what you do for a living in this world we should all fucking know about these events. You have to remember that people like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and other dictators were not born into power but acquired it by skill, luck and the misfortune of their countries. Given the right opportunity people like these can become leaders, and at that point it’s a little too fucking late.

So to those who say this kind of stuff shouldn’t be taught in schools, or that’s its irrelevant or offensive, get a fucking clue and read a book. This kind of shit will only happen because we were ignorant and unaware of the clues. And to those that say the Holocaust never happened you are fucking idiots and need to have you’re heads examined.

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Rebecca Romijn

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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Gods Decided Not To Piss In My Cornflakes Today

If you’ve followed my last couple of posts you may have noticed I was a wee bit bitterer then my usual self. You would have also learned the code to stop Skynet from launching its fucking nukes, guess were fucked. Anyways getting back on topic, yeah I’ve been pretty pissed the last few days. It seems like I’ve been getting a much larger share of the shit sandwich we all have to take a bite of from time to time. Lately it’s been more like a bowl full of greenish brown corn crusted turds of despair.

So you can bet my happiness today when the shit storm it seems has finally lifted. The last couple of weeks I’ve been looking for work as well as a new place to live. Today at least the battle is half fucking over; I now have a pretty decent place all to myself. My new lodgings or as I prefer to call it “The Den Of Sin” aren’t too far from where I live now. And while they won’t be as nice, they have one major advantage…NO FUCKING ROOMATES. Finally I will be at peace to do what I try to do every fucking night, try to take over the world.

Oh and get this for a little side note, the place is called the Dogwood, coincidence me thinks not.

The other little thing that made my day all the better was that it seemed that people were overall nicer to me for a change. Normally when I’m out doing whatever fucking stuff I have to do I usually end up having to deal with some rude asshole, or some cock jawed ass pirate bragging about how important he is to the world while wasting precious seconds of my life because he’s too fucking retarted to figure out what kind of coffee he wants. Or the ditzy hello kitty bitch’s with their annoying giggles and comments in other languages that they think I don’t fucking understand, news flash bum darts I’m not fluent but I know enough when you turds are saying nasty shit about me in six languages, but that’s taking me to an unhappy place.

Today people were generally friendly like I didn’t have the plague, which is nice because I’ve had all my shots. And frankly it’s something I don’t understand because I sure as fuck don’t look like Frankenstein or the French hunch back fucker whose name escapes me at this moment.

So overall it was a surprisingly nice day, things went smooth, shit got accomplished, not too shabby me thinks. Of course tomorrow things will go down the shitter faster then you can say what the fuck. So I plan on savouring the moment like a fine expensive wine because these moments don’t happen often.

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Mila Kunis
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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Vancouver Attitude

Now don’t get me wrong I love Vancouver it’s fucking awesome to live here. Here you have mountains to the north surrounded by the Pacific Ocean, Stanley Park, a tonne of shit to do and things to look at. So why the fuck are there so many miserable fuckers, complainers, and snobby two faced cock jaws walking about?


Call me crazy but I’m fucking grateful to be living here, I spent the last fucking decade in Edmonton Alberta which gets six or more months of winter and the temperature can drop to below minus 45 Celsius. That’s cold enough to freeze exposed skin, I know you want to pack you’re bags and move there right now I bet. On top of that shitty winter you have roads covered in gravel so everybody’s cars windshield is cracked, as well as mammoth potholes that open up overnight destroying your cars suspension (This is from the freezing and thawing effect during the final months of winter into spring)

So when I said fuck it and packed my bags last July to come to the coast I couldn’t do it fast enough. Even though I had a full time and well paying job that wasn’t enough to keep me there. And when the day finally came to go I sped the whole fucking way and didn’t look back once until I hit the BC / Alberta border.

Now I don’t know what the fuck is the problem with many assholes out here? Perhaps they never had to leave the province or the city for that matter. Perhaps their just spoiled ass bags who need a spanking and a dose or reality, or perhaps their just the type of people who are never fucking satisfied with what they have and want more because their a greedy fuck.

This doesn’t apply to the entire city of course, in my travels I have had the pleasure of running into some of the friendliest people ever, why because they came from somewhere else like myself and are pretty fucking thankful to be living here. They don’t mind that there is a lot of rain; this is a rain forest after all. They don’t mind how expensive things can get out here; they simply work another job or cut back on something else. And they don’t mind sharing their space with 2.3 million other people who call Vancouver and the surrounding area home.

So what about the local ass clowns who are bitchy and complaining about the rain, or this fucking thing or that, here’s my advice to you.........

"GROW A FUCKING SPINE, SOME TESTICLES AND THINK FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS HOW LUCKY YOU ARE COMPARED TO MOST OF THE REST OF THE COUNTRY."

Frankly we don’t have much to complain about, there are some places in this country that well fucking suck (Trust me I’ve been to a few of them) and these yuppie fuckers who would curl up and die if they had to spend a month or more there. So for you local fuckers spend a moment take a breath and look around, we have it pretty fuck good, so stop being a little bitch.



On a totally unrelated note you may have noticed a link with the picture of a baby on it called “Mission Monkey” One of my favourite bloggers posted a page about a friend whose child has a type of cancer called neuroblastoma, so if you can check it out and if you have some extra cash donate to help them out. (No this is not a scam by the way) Also if you have a blog or website there’s some HTML text you can copy and paste to put the link on your site to help get it out there.


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Tina Fey

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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Timings Are Critical And Must Be Met

When I was in the military two things were constantly hammered into my head, be 10 minutes early for whatever timing you have to meet, and never get caught. Being late could result in conduct unbecoming which can carry a stiff fine, extra duty and a boat load of unwanted shit sprayed at you at the speed of light. Needless to say I made dam sure I wasn’t late unless I had a fucking good reason such as my car breaking down, medical problem, or family emergency, and even those were pushing it. The only time everyone got a free pass was when we had a solid week of minus 45ish weather before the wind-chill and nobody’s car that was left outside would start, not to mention exposed skin would freeze in a couple minutes……sounds fun right ?

So now you can understand why today I am especially pissed, why because some fucker flaked out on me after I waited about 45 minutes for them to show up. Today I was supposed to view a couple apartments near where I live. I called yesterday to book an appointment and the woman who answered and does the viewings in the area set a viewing time of 1 p.m. Great I thought because both places are about 5 minutes from where I’m currently living and are located in a nice quiet part of the west end with lots of trees and all that happy shit.

Now because of my military mentality I showed up about 10 minutes early as I had been trained to do in case she arrived early, or in case there was some unexpected problem, you know space ninja’s, zombies, Hooters girls involved in a wet t-shirt contest, or the outbreak of world war 3 all of which would require my immediate attention.

And so I waited patiently, for 45 fucking minutes I stood there with a thumb up my ass feeling like a moron while random old people and people who lived in the surrounding buildings thought I was some sort of fucking creeper looking to rape someone. Even some old guy would stare at me from time to time from his third story window watching me, and unfortunately probably getting excited watching me, yeah how can you tell I was fucking pleased. There’s nothing worse then having some old slimy guy pop a boner in you’re direction, while I can understand it to a degree because of my rugged good looks and charm it’s still fucking disturbing.

But now to the bitch who stood me up in the first place, WHAT THE FUCK IS HER MAJOR MALFUNCTION, if you fucking book a fucking appointment for a fucking time that is the best fucking time for you to do a fucking viewing you have no fucking excuse for not fucking showing up. And if you can’t fucking show up then have the fucking decency and the balls to call and say “Hello Mr. Wolf I can’t fucking make it to the fucking appointment today for (insert reason here) can we re-fucking schedule it?” FUCK FUCK FUCKETY FUCK WITH ICE CREAM ON FUCKING TOP THIS PISSES ME RIGHT THE FUCK OFF.

And to top it off I called the bitch back when I got home to find out what the fuck happened. And do you think that tampon chewing cow could answer the phone, nope nada just an answering machine, simple fucking spineless me thinks and a total fucking flake. Nothing pisses me off faster then a priest on a choir boy then being a flake who doesn’t show up or have the fucking nerve to return a call and try to smooth things over.

Its shit like this that will lead to us being ruled by dam dirty apes one day

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Kreesha Turner


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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Why The Fuck Does All The Weird Shit Happen To Me

Now I know I’m not what one would consider “normal”, personally I say fuck that shit normal is boring as watching old people fucking, it’s hard on the eyes, makes you cringe and leaves you wishing you were dead. Even still though I strive to find a somewhat “balanced” existence, so why in the name of Zeus’s butt hole does all the weird shit happen to me?

If I go out to a bar, restaurant, 7-11 for some Twinkies, or wherever it seems that all the messed up people follow me. Like fat chicks I seem to be a magnet for these types of individuals, and while I don’t mind the occasional crazy person striking up a conversation about how the government is beaming messages into their brain and making them burn things and shit themselves, it can be a bit much. A perfect example would be from a couple months ago when some creepy homeless guy who thinks he’s Hannibal Lector gave me the creepiest smile and started ringing a small dinner bell while he stared at me, the kind of stare the says “Hi I’m going to fucking kill you and enjoy eating you’re liver with some fava beans and a nice glass of red wine” Or the crazy Vietnam vet type who just walks up to me and starts going on about the man and how I get it……….get what I just want to walk my fucking dog then rot my brain doing something mindless like look up shit on YouTube.

And it’s not just crazy guys who approach me it’s the crazy women who approach me as well, such as this one crazy Chinese woman who apparently thinks I’m Chinese as well (I’m white in case you’re not sure) and starts speaking in Chinese to me like I fucking understand everything she says. As far as I know she could be telling me how she’s going to cut off my pork sword and use it for an herbal remedy for Alzheimer’s or something fucked up like that.

I know there’s nothing I can really do about it, it’s the energy that comes from me………..but seriously FUCK why can’t the occasional hot girl, or dog walker, or a fucking friendly fuzzy fucking squirrel approach me for once instead Mr. and Mrs. Completely fucking bonkers.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

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Jeri Ryan
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Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Damned Eat At McDonald’s

I've seen a lot of shit about the freaks, geeks, and weirdoes that inhabit the skanky halls of Wal-Mart, I’ve had to stand in line beside those who could have been extras in Deliverance. And while these sad broken souls remind me of a really bad low budget horror movies they pale in comparison to the tings that linger at McDonald’s on a Sunday morning.

Now maybe I’m being bias, perhaps it’s just the local McDonald’s near my apartment that’s so fucked up, maybe theirs some sort of fucked up energy vortex or some shit like that, I don’t know. But what I do know is that every Sunday that I’ve gone to this McDonald’s I’m greeted by some of the most fucked up odd ball people I hope to never see again, such as the following.

No Legged Drooling Guy

This guy likes to hang out at the south entrance outside and begs for change. Not sure if he’s a vet or what the fuck, could be some former meth head who couldn’t pay his dealer on time, either way he smells like pee.

Guy Who Argues With Himself

Not sure what the fuck is going on in this guy’s mind but every time I saw him there he’s having a heated debate with himself. The last time I say him he was shouting something about the economic situation, and how he called bullshit on the whole thing………..which brings me to my next point, DON’T SMOKE CRACK.

The Wicked Bitch Of The West

This grumpy bridge troll I’ve only spotted once, and like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park you want to avoid eye contact and make no sudden moves, needless to say she is that fucking scary. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has an oven in her place dedicated to baking children.

The Guy Who Smells Like He Shit Himself

This one unfortunately is a regular, and usually he’s in front of me which makes it all the worse being that there is a fucking fan blowing his ass gas to me, how fucking wonderful. I mean seriously what the fuck. Next time I see him I’m buying him some toilet paper with an instruction manual and some soap.

Confused Asian Girl Who Stares Blankly Into Coffee Cup

Now I like some good ole Asian persuasion, but this Hello Kitty Bitch drives me nuts. She’ll stand in line or what she thinks is the fucking line and stares off into space looking at either the floor or her coffee cup while waiting for a refill. She’ll be so oblivious that people will simply walk around her in line to place their orders. I’ve seen her stare off on one of her thousand yard fucking stares for like five minutes, making me ask to myself, what the fuck was I doing staring at her for those five minutes?

These people are on top of the regular drugies, and fucked up homeless people that flood this particular McDonald’s on any given day, but Sunday brings them into fucking overdrive and the place is packed stinky ass to whiskey breath to coming of their high shakes. It truly is a magical place.

And by magical I mean severely fucked up

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Eva Green




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Thursday, May 6, 2010

When The Fuck Will Reality TV Die

Okay so it’s been just about a decade since the mother of all reality TV shows Survivor crapped out of somebody’s mind and onto the old radiation king. At first it was a unique and original idea, shit I even enjoyed it, being ex-army and all, I wondered what it would be like to be on the show and see if I have what it takes to last and perhaps win.

But that was in 2001 and the world and myself are much different now. Today every single fucking channel has not just one but dozens of variants of the same theme. Shows like America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway, and The Apprentice are just a couple of them. You can’t turn on the TV anymore without getting bombarded by some shit show about a bunch of average Joe’s trying to win big by degrading themselves, or eating bugs, or hitting on each other, or whatever form of ridiculous bullshit they invent to get ratings. I mean what the fuck is going to be next, who can catch herpes the fastest, or perhaps who is willing to shit themselves for a thousand bucks.

And the problem is getting worse not better. Every year there are more and more of these bullshit shows being crapped out and force fed down our throats. Don’t believe me open up you’re TV guide or go to your channel display and you’ll see dozens of reality shows playing all week long on every station, you can’t escape it. Even the National Geographic channel famous for showing topless African women (And God bless them for doing so) had not just one but several reality shows, and though they were interesting they were still there.

So what the fuck happened to good old fashioned creative talent making a show that is actually interesting instead of focusing on a bunch of bimbo’s who want to be famous and dumb jocks with about as much fucking brains as a turd festering in the sun? I would literally kill for a well made documentary about…..well fuck anything, it could even be a documentary about old people fucking and it would be a welcome change to this reality show bullshit marathon.

When is this going to end? Perhaps never obviously people are watching these shows because they keep making them faster then you can say “Holy fist fuck Batman” so the money must be good. As for me I’m going to ride out this storm reading books and possibly give myself a frontal lobotomy.

Cheers :)

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Tricia Helfer

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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

As The French Would Say This Is Tres Gay

First off that’s French for very gay in case you don’t know any French (I’m Canadian so I know both languages in case you’re wondering)

Now to the objective, and that is what exactly is gay? The answer bullshit radical feminism. Today I was over reading a post at one of my favourite blogs Psycho Carnival; check it out it’s some good shit (It's listed on the links section of my blog to the right) The post was on different feminist codes relating to various aspects of men and women.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for the equal treatment of women, I think they should earn the same as men, and get the respect they deserve, that’s a no brainier. What makes my fucking blood boil however is that generally a lot of this comes at the mistreatment of men. Let’s forget the past for a moment, cause let’s face it women back then got the shaft in more then way in those days, and focus on the present. We are supposed to live in the 21st fucking century. Are we not suppose to be a point where it doesn’t matter about sex, race, or religion, were all suppose to be on the same level playing field more or less………apparently not. For obvious reasons religion will never be equal, probably won’t happen in our lifetime either. So why the fuck is it okay to bash men so much and get away with it. If the shoe was on the other foot we men would be called loser, wife beater, rapist, pig, and a whole shit load of other names.

There would be rallies and protests, and marches in the street. Commercials like the one V-8 uses where the woman repeatedly smacks the man in the head would be banned as being discriminatory, or that it would advertise that it’s okay to hit women. So why the fuck is it okay for it to happen to men? When the fuck did equal treatment get flushed down the shitter and men bashing begin?

Frankly I’m fucking fed up with this double standard bullshit; it’s flat out fucking ridiculous. Let’s face it guys in a world like today’s we can’t get a break. If we hold the door open for a woman to let her go first we get called a chauvinistic pig, if we don’t an ignorant selfish asshole. So what are we suppose to do, hold the door open and punch you in the face, I’m confused and my head hurts.

And what about the whole objectifying women and treating them like meat thing. We get in shit for looking at porn, going to see strippers, and having pictures of (Insert hot celebrity, model actress, whatever here) on our computers. Yet women are just as much horn dogs as men, sometimes even worse, but that’s okay…..what the fuck?

I think I need a drink :)

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Evangeline Lilly


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Monday, May 3, 2010

Fuck I Hate Wall-Mart

Today I had to take a little drive over to the North shore to run some errands, this usually means having to grab a few things at that oh so wonderful cesspool of human indignity that is Wall-Mart. Personally I fucking hate the place, every time I go inside the place is packed full of broken souls and people who look like they could be extras from the movie Deliverance (Squeal like a pig for me), but hey their shit is cheap and last time I checked money doesn’t grow out of my ass………….if it did that would be interesting. Anyways back to my little misadventure.

So I get there and start getting all the things I need, you know stuff like toilet paper and all that fun stuff. Now I get to the men’s section where they keep the razors blades, and razor blade related products. If you’re familiar with Wall-Mart you know that the razors blades are usually behind a locked glass case, and like usual there is no fucking attendant within a mile. So as usual instead of waiting there with a thumb up my ass like many people I went to track one down. After a couple minutes I find one and get her to open up the case to get my goodies. My hands were full so I simply stuck out my basket and asked her to drop it inside. This is where the bullshit begins. She smugly laughs and tells me that I have to go to the service counter to pay for those and that she has to escort me there…………wtf. Seriously these are fucking razor blades (Mach 3 to be specific) what the fuck does she expect I’m going to do with them, take down a fucking jumbo jet perhaps? Maybe I’ll do some drive by shavings with them, I mean come on there fucking disposable razors blades, yet these things get more security then the propane tanks which are sitting outside in an unlocked metal cage, something which can be used as an explosive!

Grumbling I go to the service counter where I’m greeted by an old lady who looks a lot like Yoda, and her supervisor this fat blonde useless bitch who was too busy chewing bubbly gum and scratching her ass to do any actual work. After a couple minutes Yoda starts scanning my items, I politely say to her “Mamm I have some razors blades to pick up as well”. To which she looked up at me and with a very Yoda like expression on her face simply said “Eh???”. I asked her again, and she responded the same with only more confused, perhaps contemplating the vices of the dark side of the force. I asked again this time louder in a military esque tone to get her attention, still nothing; all the while fat blonde cunt is off in space. I look at her and say “I’m sorry are you too fucking good to do you’re job, how bout get over here and ring this through before the second coming of Christ please” (I’m Canadian even pissed we still use manners)

My question is this why the fuck do razors blades need so much security when there one of the cheapest things in the store, and if I wanted to buy them to cause harm I could go to a dozen different places to buy them without the bullshit. Second if there is going to be that much security why then do the dumbest fucking supervisor in the entire store have any part of it. And third why the fuck is it that every time I go outside I have to run into these stunned fucks? Why can’t I do my day to day thing and run into say…..un-fucked people, is that too much to ask? Is there a god I should sacrifice some small farm animals to for this to happen?

But I’m not bitter :)

 
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Catherine Bell
 
 
 
 
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