In my 30 years on this planet I’ve seen some fucked up shit, done some fucked up shit, and thought about some fucked up shit, but today was something a little extra special. I’m not sure if it has something to do with the cycle of the moon the impending apocalypse of 2012, all the chemicals in our food or what the fuck but today I was surrounded by the walking dumb. It didn’t matter if I was walking my dog along the sea wall, running errands, or looking out my window. Everywhere I went there they were, those blank eyed, half out of it fuckers who can barley remember their name.
You try to squeeze around them in the grocery store and they just stand their with this look on their face as if they can’t decide to take a shit or solve a math question. My personal favourite was this morning when this dopey eyed fuck walked right into me but starred at me the whole time, I mean seriously are you that fucking stupid you can’t see me, I’m not a fucking midge I’m 6 ft tall for fuck’s sack.
And it’s not just on the sidewalks and in the stores it’s on the road too, slack jawed fuckers with no expression on their faces mumbling and drooling on themselves while blinding driving their cars through red lights almost hitting other stupid fuckers to out of it to realize some dumb shit almost turned them into a greasy smear on the road.
It was like something out of a horror movie, kinda like 28 days later in a sense. You know the part where what’s his name wakes up all messed up in a hospital bed and wanders the streets of London with a plastic bag full of chocolate and a coke in the other while wearing a hospital gown, exactly like that minus the hospital gown, coke, plastic bag, and deserted London backdrop it was identical. Identical in that feeling of “Okay what the fuck just happened?” kinda feeling.
So after much thought and scientific studying (15 minutes of watching YouTube videos of 90’s Euro dance) I have come to the conclusion this condition has been caused by either of the following.
1. A rogue asteroid sending radiation into the atmosphere affecting all those out in the open
2. An alien take over, cause that makes sense
3. I am evolving so fucking fast that everyone else seems to be getting dumber (Highly possible me thinks)
4. The government yet again is trying to fuck us up
5. Or a combination of all those above, in which case we are doomed, doomed I say
Of course it could be because it’s Monday and everybody is hung over and right the fuck out of it…….perhaps this requires more study.
Random Hottie Of This Post
Julie Benz
Random Video Of This Post
2 comments:
First off, can I have your permission to fuck Julie Benz so hard in the ass that when I pull my poopy pecker out, some of her colon comes out, as well, all loopy and coiled around my stink log?
It's always polite to ask first. I'm a gentleman, you know.
Anyway, I know what you mean about retards staring blankly at shit on the shelves at the store. Sometimes, you just have to jab them in the nut sack or booby nip to get them to move along. It was especially bothersome when I worked as a manager at the grocery store. Fuckers wouldn't get out of my way when I was stocking shelves. I usually got my point across, however when I gently nudged them with my elbow, causing them to fall into beer display. As you can imagine, I felt terrible about the spilt beer.
Your conclusion... #3... makes the most sense, of course. There's only a few of us highly evolved human beings on this rock. The rest are uncouth retards that play with balls of snot. Good thing you're on the right team. I farted. Take care, friend.
Of course you have my permission to do as you will to the lovley Julie Benz after I'm done of course. You have to be quick though she's pretty damm fast, had to use a net and tear gas to cach her for that pic alone.
I kinda figured conclusion #3 made the most sense and it seems the number of numpty's is getting higher every year. Who knows at this rate mabye one day I'll be running the show.
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