Friday, April 2, 2010

People I Want To Punch In The Face




This could be a very long blog post, lets face it in our day to day lives we bump into all sorts of assholes who get in our way, annoy us, are rude, slam doors in our face without knowing it, or standing in the middle of the aisle focused on their “crack berry” and even after you say excuse me like 3 or for times they don’t fucking move so you want to bash their brains in with a can of Campbell’s tomato soup which has less salt but still just as effective as a means to make that prick a vegetable. Anyways here a little list I made of just a few of those who almost seem to love to piss us off.

The guy who crosses the crosswalk long after the light is red

If this doesn’t make you want to drive that asshole into the dirt I don’t know what will. Now that I live in a bigger city I have this happen all the time. You’re waiting at an intersection, finally the light turns green and you start to drive only to have to slam on the brakes because some idiot decides two seconds after the light changes that he’s going to cross. Who the fuck made this guy the king of the intersection. Now you have to site their and wait for them to take their sweet ass time to cross, when the finally do you have to make a mad dash through the intersection because the light is changing while the time some other dink is behind you honking their horn at you thinking you’re the jack ass who isn’t paying attention behind the wheel. Just as a warning the next fucker who pulls this one off on me is getting run over…….you’ve been warned.

The guy who thinks he’s so important because he’s on a cell phone

How many times have you been in a confined space, let’s say a restaurant or a bus. Usually a couple feet away is some needle dick on the phone trying to brag it up about how great they are, or how much money their investing in blow up dolls or whatever crap. They have to talk so loud the entire place can hear them, and they don’t shut up. No they ramble on for like twenty minutes then call some other waste of skin about how their so great and gold bars shit out their ass because their so fucking wonderful.

The guy who steals your seat

Lets say you have a date and decide to go to some nice restaurant for all you can eat wings and beer, if that doesn’t impress the ladies then I don’t know what will. Anyways you get their dinner is great, the conversation is going extremely well, and for whatever reason one of you has to leave the table for a moment. The one person leaves let’s say it’s you to hit the john. You come back and some asshole has thrown your coat off the chair onto the floor in a puddle of some sorta shit and food chunks and is walking away with your chair. …..yeah these fuckers usually get a punch in the face right off the bat when it happens to me

The guy who hits on your girlfriend right in front of you

This one really pisses me off royally. When I’m on a date with an attractive women I don’t mind of the guys nearby check her out, to me that’s a compliment in a way it lets me know she’s hot. I can also understand that if I leave to use the washroom or whatever it is I have to do that their might be some guy who tries to flirt with her, perhaps he didn’t see me and her walk in together. But it’s when I’m right beside her and some asshole comes up thinking he’s the greatest piece of shit in the world and starts trying to pick her up. Seriously what the fuck is this ass clown thinking doesn’t he realize he could get his brains stomped out.

The guy who slams his door into your car door when you’re watching

This one is right up there in the stupid factor. Let’s say your coming back from picking up some errands your only a few feet from your car and some dick head slams his car door into yours leaving a pretty large scratch on it. Then the guy simply starts to walk away like nothing happened, and when you confront him he looks at like an idiot and can’t figure out why you’re pissed off at him.

The guy who lets his dog shit on your lawn and doesn’t pick it up

I remember living in Edmonton and having this happen all the time. I had a nice decent place in a quiet neighbourhood not far from downtown. The area had a lot of dogs that were walked usually every day unless it was retarded cold like minus 40 Celsius, even the dogs don’t want to go out and take a piss in that type of weather. Anyways in the spring and summer when I was home after work or on the weekends I would usually be busy with some project or cleaning up the place. For some reason when I would be in the front lawn this would happen more often but some dink with their dog would walk up the sidewalk to my place and let their dog take a shit on my lawn. In one case the owner of one particular dog looked right at me as his little fluff ball too a crunch right in the middle of my yard, then started to walk away. WTF do assholes not carry bags for dog shit anymore; anyways that guy got a nice shit sandwich that day.



So what about all you out in internet land what kind of jerks really piss you off?
 
 
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Anne Hathaway

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